Valduggery: Dead Romance
by XxbeautifulxX134
Summary: Skulduggery and Valkyrie's friendship blossoms into something more, but no one wants to admit their feelings. This is a lot of oneshots/continuous stories about what it takes to get their strong feelings towards each other out there.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Feelings**

_A/N: Ok...I am new at this, so ya know, don't be judging...Reviews plz...This will be a few parts_

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Valkyrie sighed and slipped her dark hair behind her ear. She was finally over with Fletcher, but it left her lonely and depressed. Skul kept going on about how she was already twenty and she needed to take advantage of it, and although he was right, nothing seemed fun without someone to hang out with. Ghastly was busy searching Ireland for a cure to get the remnant out of Tanith, and Fletcher was plain out of the picture. She could hang out with Skulduggery, but she didn't want her secret feelings towards him to become obvious. This was one of the times she wished Tanith could be here cheering her up and making her laugh.

Valkyrie pulled herself from her thoughts and plopped onto the bed. She didn't bother to turn the lights on and grabbed her cell phone. She was just hoping there would be a message from someone, anyone who would talk to her. Her doubts on it were correct, so she just set the phone on the table and snuggled into the blankets.

As Valkyrie begun to drift off into sleep, she heard a strange noise…a familiar noise. Her heart raced as she turned and expected to see Skulduggery tapping on her window. Again, wrong. It was the tree outside tapping on the glass.

"Damn tree," she murmured and curled back up in the sheets.

Suddenly, she heard the same tapping again.

_No, Valkyrie. It is just the tree. Skul's not there, _she thought.

She finally listened to herself, ignored the noise, and attempted to sleep. That's when she heard the window open. She sat up facing the opposite direction of the window, and whispered urgently, "Skul? Is that you?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a figure in the shadows coming towards her. She started to shiver, but was rooted to the spot as fear swallowed her. Out of nowhere two gloved hands wrapped around her waist.

"Let…me…GO!"she screamed while struggling against the thin yet strong attacker.

Suddenly, she heard that velvety voice she loved so dearly.

"Wow, why so jumpy, Val?" Skulduggery laughed and set her down.

Valkyrie sent a death glare to the skeleton and punched him in the arm.

"Skul! I should kill you! Scaring a woman like that," she growled.

Skulduggery put his head down and chuckled. "Val, you can't kill what's already dead."

Valkyrie spun around and jabbed her finger in his ribs. "Oh, Skul. I'll find a way, trust me."

Valkyrie balled up her fists and stomped over to the light switch. Skulduggery shrugged his shoulders and gracefully made his way to a chair. Valkyrie flicked on a light switch and flinched at the sudden brightness. She made her way over to Skulduggery, straightened out her pajamas, and folded her arms.

Her dark eyes stared directly into Skulduggery's eye sockets as she asked, "Why are you here, Skul?"

Skulduggery quickly tilted his skull and rubbed his hands.

"Well?"

Skulduggery ran his hands down his skull. He sighed and said, "Val, have you been okay lately? You have been so distant from everyone. From _me_. I can't stand it, Val. It drives me crazy when you leave me."

Valkyrie blushed and stiffened up. "W-what are you s-saying Skul?" Valkyrie asked walking to the arm of the chair Skulduggery sat in.

Skulduggery sighed and tilted his head towards her.

"Val…I couldn't tell you. It would ruin the friendship between us and I don't want to lose that. Please understand."

Valkyrie looked at the floor sadly and muttered, "It's something bad isn't it? God…I wouldn't be surprised."

Skulduggery gave a sad laugh and stood up. "Well Val, I should get going. I have already woken you up _and _I have gotten your curiosity going. Good night, Val," he said tilting his skull and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Please don't go," she pleaded looking up at him.

"What?" Skulduggery backed up a bit and stood there awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.

"Not like that, doof. I mean like a sleepover!" Valkyrie danced on her tiptoes and clapped her hands. Skulduggery was trying to piece together what just happened, while Valkyrie walked up to him. "PWEEEEEZ!" she begged pulling on his arms.

"Uh…Val…that's not a good idea, I am a _guy. _We don't talk about our crushes or paint our nails like you women. That would be awkward, okay? Now, I must be going. My meditating chair is missing my wonderful presence."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and said, "That ego of yours…"

Skulduggery laughed and shrugged while taking a seat on the couch. "Eh, at least I am confident," he sighed leaning back.

Valkyrie laughed again and whispered to herself, "Yeah, a little _over _confident." Valkyrie rolled her eyes and plopped on the couch next to Skulduggery.

"I heard that, by the way," Skulduggery murmured, his skull inclined at Valkyrie.

She blushed and stood up. "Heh…Um…I'll be in the kitchen!" Valkyrie jogged through the kitchen door leaving Skulduggery alone.

"Damn. That was close back there," he murmured.

The awkward silence consumed the living room, so Skulduggery crept towards the kitchen door. He heard the microwave close, and slowly pushed the kitchen door open. Valkyrie hadn't noticed, and Skulduggery suddenly got an idea. As Valkyrie whistled to herself, Skulduggery sneaked up behind her. Valkyrie was very unaware as she opened the microwave door and pulled out the steaming pop corn. She reached up to grab a bowl from the cupboard, and suddenly turned around and kicked Skulduggery. Valkyrie was beginning to laugh, but Skulduggery grabbed her and she came falling down with him.

"Oh my god! Skulduggery, you doof!" She playfully punched the stiffened skeleton's shoulder as she realized she was on top of him. "Oh…Um, hi Skul…"

Skulduggery was frozen and dragged out, "Hi…Val. You are on top of me…"

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and replied, "_No, really?" _ Skulduggery gave a nervous laugh. "Skul, mind letting me up?" she asked gesturing to the gloved hand holding her in place. Skulduggery snapped back into reality and noticed the hand.

"Oh…yes…sorry, Val."

She got up quickly and gave Skulduggery a hand. Skulduggery brushed his suit off and murmured, "I'll be in the living room…"

Valkyrie watched him leave with sad eyes, and face palmed. "Damn it," she muttered putting the now cold pop corn into the bowl. _I am going to tell him tonight, _she thought.

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_**Ok, sorry for any mistakes...I know it's not that good, but it's my first time...Review please! XD**_

_**~ Em**_


	2. Chapter 2: Feelings Prt 2

**Chapter 2: Feelings Prt. 2**

_A/N: Ok, part two my friends! R&R Hope you enjoy it!_

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Valkyrie finished collecting the popcorn and took a deep breath. So many thoughts fluttered through her head, most of them involving Skulduggery. She picked the plastic bowl up and opened the kitchen door.

"Skul, I'm back."

Skulduggery snapped his towards her, and tilted his head to show he was smiling. He then patted the seat next to him on the couch. Valkyrie smiled back and blushed, and walked over to the skeleton. She nervously laughed, and awkwardly took a seat. Skulduggery looked at her confused. He put a comforting arm on her shoulder.

"Val, you ok? You are acting very strange around me. I can leave if you are uncomfortable."

Valkyrie looked up at him, and although he didn't have eyes, she could feel him staring at her. She sighed and stood up.

"Skul, I am fine. Please don't leave it will only make it worse."

Valkyrie gave a pleading look and Skulduggery sank back into the couch. Valkyrie smiled at him and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, her eyes sparkling.

Skulduggery sighed and thought, _bloody hell she is gorgeous…No. Skulduggery, get these thoughts out of your head. She is your partner, nothing more. She deserves a man with flesh and blood. Not a pile of bones._

Valkyrie could sense something was bothering him; his skull was tilted, showing he was in deep thought. She was starting to become concerned about him. What was up with her beloved Skulduggery?

She walked up and waved a hand in front of his skull. "Hello! Skulduggery, you there?"

Skulduggery shook his head and looked up at her.

"Oh, yes sorry. What were you saying?"

Valkyrie sighed and plopped back down next to him. She crisscrossed her legs and faced him. She took another breath and put a hand on her face.

"Skul, are you ok? You have been…distant lately, like you are in deep thought or something. Now, I don't mean to pry, but I worry about you. _A lot_, actually. Now, stay focused and please tell me. I am dying to know what's distracting _my _Skulduggery."

Vakyrie looked dead serious as she waited for an answer. She rested her head in her hands and watched as he just stared.

Skulduggery knew he couldn't ignore her and see if she went away. Val was too persistent, too caring. Two reasons he was madly in love with her. He looked down at the floor and gained the confidence to look into those chocolate eyes. He finally gained the courage to tell her, and sighed.

"Ok…Val…this is complicated, but obviously you won't give up on it…"

Valkyrie smirked, and continued to listen to that velevety voice.

"Val…I have never been able to tell you this, but…I-I…"

Valkyrie chewed her lip, waiting for those three words. _Please continue, Skul! _She thought to herself. Her heart beat fast as she looked at him with puppy dog eyes. He put her hand in his, and refused to let go.

"Val…I love you," he finally said tilting his head.

Valkyrie felt tears spring from her eyes as she smiled at him. Skulduggery was slightly confused, but just looked at her, trying to be sympathetic.

"Took you long enough to say that, Detective!"

She giggled and blushed violently. Skulduggery laughed too, but was waiting for her response. She either would laugh and call him crazy, or would feel the same way. Although he hoped for number two, he knew number one would make much more sense.

Valkyrie took a breath as if she were to start talking again, and Skulduggery was dying to hear what she had to say. She bit her lip and tugged him closer. She pulled his fedora down and smiled.

"I love you too, Skulduggery Pleasant."

He slumped his shoulders and the weight was finally of his chest. Valkyrie had the same feelings towards him. He knew people wouldn't agree to them, but this was the happiest he'd been in centuries.

Valkyrie wrapped her arms around his neck, and leaned forward. She closed her eyes as the distance was closing, and felt her lips touch bone. Skulduggery was slightly shocked, but gave in. His arms slid around her waist, and he attempted to kiss her back. He grew slightly embarrassed, and tried to reach for the façade, but Valkyrie batted his hand away. She broke the kiss for a second, and looked at him.

"Skul, I love you for who you _are_. No façades, understood?"

Skulduggery nodded his head, and she hugged him. He grasped her waist as she looked up and said,

"I will never leave you, Skul."

He knew she wasn't lying, and hugged her closer. The two finally fell asleep in each other's arms. That night, Valkyrie dreamt of Skulduggery while he protectively cradled his love. They had both gotten their feelings off their chest.

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Sorry about any mistakes! I will keep updating! Sorry for the wait dears!


	3. Chapter 3: Ghastly to the Rescue

Chapter 3: Ghastly to the Rescue

_A/N: Ok, I had a TOTALLY different chapter planned instead of this one, but I started to feel as if I was corrupting Skulduggery's personality. I'm going to try and capture his wit and put it into this fanfic, sorry about the last mushy chapters. Another one-shot not continued from the last two._

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Skulduggery parked the Bentley outside of the Irish Sanctuary and rested his sore skull on the steering wheel. He had surely thought _way _too much in the past few hours, mostly pondering about Val. He felt like he was more attached to her as crazy as that sounded. His non-existent heart seemed to beat through the steps in his ribcage whenever he took a stride towards her. He had mixed feelings about blossoming a whole new relationship with her, because of the obvious reasons. He was a skeleton, no matter how much he tried to act otherwise. Without human flesh, he could not grant her a new family to replace the one she lost or love her properly. Skulduggery sighed and flicked imaginary lint off his shirt collar. _Maybe Ghastly could help with my ridiculous feelings, _he thought.

Skulduggery thought his idea was certainly one of a genius, and grinned as widely as a skeleton could as he strode toward the entrance to the sanctuary. He made his way deeper into the sanctuary nodding at any familiar mage. He was in a great mood today, and hopefully Ghastly would boost his happiness even higher.

Skulduggery entered the elder's office still in deep thought. His best friend looked up from a ton of paperwork and sighed.

"Hello, Skul. Problem?" Ghastly put his hands under his chin to show he was paying attention.

Skulduggery chuckled at the fact Ghastly knew there was something up, and slid into one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs that cluttered the front of Ghastly's desk. He looked back up at Ghastly's scarred face and sighed.

"Well, yes and no. Quite confusing if you couldn't already tell."

Ghastly chuckled and replied, "We both know if this was a simple problem, you wouldn't come here pestering me for advice or answers. Now, mind telling me this huge problem of yours?"

Skulduggery gave Ghastly one of his skeleton grins, and leaned forward in his chair. He sat there wondering how to tell Ghastly when he suddenly spoke.

"No Valkyrie? This must be something you don't want her to hear," Ghastly finished with a smirk and a wink.

Skulduggery suddenly snapped his head up in shock, making Ghastly laugh quite loudly knowing he'd hit it right on target.

"Ghastly, you are certainly a wise man, almost as wise as me. Almost."

Ghastly rolled his eyes at the sudden remark, but kept the grin plastered to his face. Skulduggery saw Ghastly's smile, and looked down.

"Ghastly, yes I have a problem. Mind helping me with it instead of sitting there like a drunken lunatic?"

Ghastly only laughed harder, but after a few moments, he stifled his laughter and became serious. He sighed and shook his head at his sudden outburst. He then returned his attention back to his poor skeleton friend.

"Sorry, Skul, but not many times do you come in here talking about _love_. It's quite humorous, if I do say so myself."

Skulduggery was attempting to give a glare that could kill, his skull halfway expressing it. These days, no one could read his face like her. Valkyrie just seemed to understand everything about him, whether it was dark or happy. Realizing he was drifting off into deep thought, he glanced back up at Ghastly who was waiting for a reply.

"Yes, you are quite right, Elder Bespoke."

Ghastly winced at his friend's use of 'Elder Bespoke' and cut him off.

"Don't call me that, it's Ghastly for you."

Skulduggery chuckled and continued, "Not many times do I come in here talking about falling in love. I recall saying I would never go back to loving anyone, but Val has changed it all…I just can't help how I feel about her, Ghastly."

Ghastly sighed and played with a pencil nearby him.

"I know the feeling, Skul. Just let me tell you now, don't make the same mistake I did and wait forever to tell her. I know you have doubts about a further relationship for her, but waiting isn't only hurting you. You have rubbed off a lot on her, sadly—"

"Hey! Bespoke, you are pushing it!" Skulduggery interjected pointing a finger at the tailor.

Ghastly laughed in response and continued, "Anyways, as I was saying, you have rubbed off on her a lot, meaning her patience is growing thin."

Skulduggery growled at the somewhat insult of his patience. He was very patient, and no one could tell him otherwise. He heard Ghastly sigh and mutter, "Anyone in there?"

He brought his skull to look back at Ghastly, whose patience was growing thin now.

"Skulduggery, sorry I'm hurting your ego, but please pay attention to what I have to say. Now, if you don't tell her, undoubtedly she'll move on. You're scared, I know. Sadly, you have no option other than to tell her. I will give you a few days off so you can muster some courage to tell her. There, I've helped you with your love problem. Now, out of my office so I can finish this _exciting _paperwork. Great seeing you."

Skulduggery nodded his head, and walked back out to the Bentley in deep thought. He swung his door open and hopped in, putting the key in the ignition.

"Well, hope Val's not busy," he muttered.

_Back at Valkyrie's House:_

"Please Val, take me back!"

"Bloody Hell, Fletch, give it a rest!" she groaned plopping onto her sofa.

Fletcher banged on the front door, demanding entrance so he didn't have to communicate through a door. He sighed, knowing how stubborn Valkyrie was. She would give in at some time; no girl could resist him, _ever._

"Come on, Val. No one else is going to love you like I will! Why won't you just understand?"

Valkyrie hopped off the couch and stomped over to the front door, her face beet red.

"Get off my porch, _now! _I don't love you, I love someone else!" she growled.

She heard Fletcher gasp, and cupped a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.

"Well, well. Who might this guy you're crushing on be?" he teased, tapping on the door.

Valkyrie sighed in anger, and unlocked the door to reveal Fletcher making faces at her. She saw his awe-struck face as he assumed she was going to open the door. Valkyrie laughed at his ignorance, and flung the door at Fletcher's face. With a groan, he slumped onto the floor and tended to his bloody nose. Valkyrie smiled and dusted off her hands in victory, and slammed the door shut.

"Serves him for being an idiot," she muttered, sitting on the couch and turning on the television.

She started to channel surf, when she heard Fletcher's annoying voice float into her ear. She cautiously snuck up to the door and put an ear to it, attempting to listen in on what he was blabbering about.

"What are you doing here, Bones?" Fletcher growled.

Valkyrie's eyes widened at the mention of Skulduggery, but made no move away from the door.

"None of your business, boy. Now get off Val's porch before I shoot you."

Valkyrie cupped a hand over her mouth as she heard him take out his gun. She then realized Skul meant no harm, and soon heard Fletcher's girlish screech as he teleported with a _pop._ He was such an idiot, he could have just teleported in here to annoy her, instead of yelling through the door like a crazy person. She then heard a knock on the door, and knew it was Skul. She grinned widely, and unlocked the door. There was her beloved, well dressed Skulduggery standing there with his hands buried in his pockets. He gave a slight cough and looked up at her.

"Hello, Val."

"Erm, hi Skul. Need something?" she finished with a pearly smile.

Skulduggery scratched his skull and murmured, "Well, uh…we need to, um, talk. If you don't mind, of course."

Valkyrie couldn't believe his awkwardness as he strode into the mansion. She had to say something, so she sighed concernedly and asked, "Skul, is something up? You're acting awfully strange."

Skulduggery swung his head up to meet her gaze and took a step closer to her.

"Um, yes, actually. Something is quite wrong, Val. I've come to realize that my feelings towards a certain someone have grown."

Valkyrie's eyes dropped to the floor, and she whispered, "Oh."

Skulduggery put a finger under her chin and brought her head up.

"Now I'm going to ask you. Is something up, Val?"

Valkyrie sighed and face palmed. She looked back up at him, tears in her eyes.

"Yes actually, Skul. I have joined you on the falling in love. The funny thing is he never would love me, although I love everything about him. His ego, his kindness, his humor…and much more. I just could never match up to it, and it leaves me heartbroken."

Skulduggery felt a great deal of sympathy for her wash over him. Was she referring to him? _A skeleton? _He was just wonderstruck she just put herself lower than him. She was an amazing girl, and she did not need to think otherwise.

"Val! Don't ever put yourself lower than me!" he warned, pulling her into a tight embrace.

She looked up at him in shock, her cheeks stained with tears.

"How did you know I was talking about you?" she asked.

Skulduggery put his forehead on hers and whispered, "Well, I am the best detective there is, so it would be alarming if I didn't know."

Valkyrie laughed and murmured back, "That ego, Skul."

Skulduggery grabbed her hands and shrugged. Valkyrie smiled at him, and closed her eyes and sighed.

"Skul?"

"Yes, Val?" he asked not moving his head away.

"Could I do something real quick?"

"Uh, sure?"

"Thank you."

Valkyrie wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and brought her soft lips to his teeth. Skulduggery stiffened out of shock, but relaxed into her embrace. The kiss got deeper and deeper until Valkyrie was up against the wall, Skulduggery's hat knocked off. Suddenly, there was a slight cough and whistle from the staircase. Valkyrie parted blushing violently, and looked up to see Echo Gordon standing awkwardly on the steps. Skulduggery followed her gaze, and suddenly backed up and thrust his hands in his pockets.

"Well, this is nice," Gordon murmured awkwardly, walking back up the stairs to his study.

Valkyrie and Skulduggery sat there exchanging awkward glances as Gordon took one last look at them.

"_Finally_," he whispered opening the door.

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Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter up soon! Sorry for the wait


	4. Chapter 4: Love and War

Chapter 4: Love and War

A/N: I definitely do not own any of the characters, especially this chapter. **RATED M FOR LANGUAGE TOWARDS THE MIDDLE. **Sorry for the language, just it sounded better than some kid insult.

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Valkyrie played with her dark hair as she looked through her messages. Although she looked like a twenty year old on the outside, inside she was the classic two year old. Skulduggery walked into the room and slumped his shoulders at the girlish sight in front of him.

"Val, you are always on that cell phone! Probably texting that lousy boyfriend of yours, aren't you?"

Valkyrie looked up with a glare that could kill.

"Fletcher is _not _lousy! Sure, he's annoying, loud—"

"Don't forget that ridiculous hair. Bloody Hell it's awful," Skulduggery interrupted pointing a finger.

Valkyrie knew she couldn't deny that one, so she just hunched her shoulders and sighed.

"Skul, I am dating Fletch for a reason, okay? It's not true love, but I can't find anyone better who adores me like him. I'm sick of being alone; no offence. You're still my best friend. It just hurts to know no one you love loves you back."

Skulduggery's imaginary heart sank; his jaw dropping.

"Valkyrie Cain listen here. You are beautiful! You can do way better than some love thirsty idiot like Fletcher. Anyone with a brain or eyes could see that. Well, I make an exception of course."

Valkyrie looked up at the dead serious skeleton before her.

"Skul, do you mean that?" she asked, her eyes wide.

Skulduggery finally realized all that he just said, and tilted his head at her.

"Oh, look at the time! I must be going; my meditation chair is missing me, goodbye Val!"

Skulduggery ran out of the door of Gordon's mansion and sped off in the Bentley, leaving the wonderstruck Valkyrie alone.

"He said I'm beautiful," Valkyrie murmured, her heart beating rapidly.

"Who is it?" Fletcher snarled with his face red.

Valkyrie looked up with tearstained cheeks and cried, "No one! Why won't you believe me, Fletch?"

Fletcher's expression didn't change as he got up in Valkyrie's face.

"Oh, you're a liar. You wouldn't have broken up with me if there wasn't someone else…It's him isn't it! You are in love with the bag of bones with no emotions!" he spat, a finger in Valkyrie's face.

"My god, Fletcher! Why do you care? I know you have been two timing. Please go, and accept I don't love you anymore!" she moaned.

"I'll tear that skeleton apart and sink him back in that damn river! He can't even love you properly! Or do this."

Fletcher went to touch Valkyrie, but she slapped him. His head spun back around slowly, his right cheek sporting a fresh red handprint.

"You bitch!" he yelled hitting her back.

Valkyrie's lip twitched as blood spilled down her chin. She was consumed with complete terror and anger as more tears trickled down her face mixing with blood and hair.

"You h-hit—"

"Get over it, you bitch. I'm guessing you wish your beloved skeleton was here, huh? Well guess what! He's not! If he shows up I'll kill him!" Fletcher's laugh was laced with venom that made Valkyrie flinch.

Suddenly, the door burst off its hinges and the great Skeleton Detective himself walked in. Skulduggery aimed his gun at Fletcher with no hesitation.

"Don't you _ever _lay a hand on Valkyrie again, boy!" Skulduggery snarled.

Fletcher laughed and threw his head back.

"Well, well! The bag of bones himself showed up! Guess he can die now!"

Skulduggery's gun didn't waver as he said, "You can't kill what's already dead, Fletcher."

Fletcher rolled his eyes and turned back to Valkyrie, his over gelled hair messed up.

"Ehh, I can't believe you love this thing, Val. Guess I'm going to have to get rid of him."

Fletcher turned back around and winked at Skulduggery as the gun fired. Fletcher teleported too quickly, and the bullet passed through where he was standing and hit Valkyrie in the shoulder. She moaned with immense pain as she clutched her shoulder. Blood poured from the gun wound as she leaned back against the wall. Skulduggery gasped in horror at what had happened and rushed forward to assist her.

As Skulduggery went to ask if she was all right, Fletcher appeared behind him, a baseball bat in hand. Valkyrie's eyes widened as she saw the insane Fletcher raise the bat. Skulduggery sensed the danger behind him and spun around to deliver a swift kick to Fletcher's shins. Fletcher howled in pain but didn't give up the attack. He ran forward and attempted a swing at Skulduggery's ribcage. Skulduggery stepped back quickly and splayed his gloved hands forward.

Fletcher was now pressed up against the wall, his teeth gritted. Skulduggery walked up to Fletcher and with great force punched him in the head. Fletcher moaned in pain and his head lulled forward as he drifted into unconsciousness. Skulduggery patted Fletcher's head and sighed.

"He should have known he couldn't have won against me. Poor thing."

He then turned his attention back to the twenty year old moaning in pain against the other wall.

"A little help here, Skul. If you haven't noticed you shot me."

Skulduggery rushed forward to pick her up, and cradled her to his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Val. I seemed to have forgotten the idiot could teleport."

Valkyrie faked a gasp, and replied, "The Great Skeleton Detective _forgot_ something? OH MY GOODNESS! What a world I live in!"

Skulduggery gave a fake laugh and muttered, "Yeah, funny."

* * *

Valkyrie woke up to a bright white light. She flinched at the brightness and brought herself forward to sit up. She looked around the room for anyone, and relaxed as she saw Skulduggery meditating in the chair across from her bed. She closed her eyes and lay back down, not feeling any pain from her shoulder. She heard Skulduggery stir awake, and she turned her head to look at him. Skulduggery tilted his head at her to show he was grinning and slid his chair up by her.

"Have a good sleep? Again, sorry about the accident," Skulduggery grabbed her soft hand gently.

"Skul, I'm fine. I think it's quite fine now. Don't apologize for shooting me, because you didn't mean to. Damn teleporters."

Skulduggery chuckled and leaned back in the chair.

"That's good that your wound is healing. Now, Val, mind telling me why Fletcher was there in the first place?"

Valkyrie sighed and looked away from him.

"He was there because I wanted him there. We needed to talk about something. That whole relationship thing with him really wasn't working as you've already guessed. "

"But I thought you said you didn't like being alone, Val."

"Well, I didn't break up with him because I was bored of him, I broke up with him because I have undoubtedly fallen in love with someone else."

Skulduggery's head snapped up as he saw the grin on Val's face.

"Who?"

"Eh, someone with many great qualities you know. You guys are quite close."

"When I find out who this guy is, I plan on hitting him a few times."

Valkyrie laughed at the thought of Skulduggery punching himself.

"I don't think you would hit him, Skul."

"And why not?"

"Because he's sitting right in front of me."

Skulduggery realized she was talking about him, and became stiff.

"Oh…that's nice."

Valkyrie giggled and faced the opposite direction, letting him piece things together. After a minute, she heard him get up. She became concerned and turned around in the hospital bed to see what was wrong. Skulduggery was now straddling Valkyrie, bringing his teeth down to meet her lips. Valkyrie was quite shocked, but gave into the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he made the kiss deeper. As Valkyrie finally drew back for breath, she looked up into his eye sockets.

"I love you, Skulduggery."

Skulduggery tilted his skull at her grinning, and replied, "I love you too, Valkyrie Cain."

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A/N: Sorry if that was mushy. Should I have warned you? Hopefully you will live. I know I made a big deal about language in this chapter, but other authors do it, so I thought I should thank them.

I want to give a big thank you to **NightCatMau**, one of my favorite fanfic writers xD, for reviewing as well as you other wonderful reviewers. Thanks a bunch! I am so grateful that there are Valduggery shippers reading this. J


	5. Chapter 5: Just the Way You Are

Chapter 5: Just the Way You Are

A/N: No, this is not the Bruno Mars song. I feel like making a chapter about Val's feeling towards Skul's façade, or him having flesh. This chapter is dedicated to **NightCatMau **who agrees with me on the topic of façades. ANOTHER THING. **NightCatMau, do you mind if I use your baby idea? I will give them a baby in a different way though. Not your way, just the baby. **

TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY? ;) Sorry but this chapter is quite mushy. Starts with Val and Skul already together and married. I SHALL NEVER OWN SKULDUGGERY OR VALKYRIE.

* * *

Valkyrie parted from Skulduggery taking a breath. Skulduggery caressed her face and pulled her back into the kiss, using a wall for support. His hands traveled down her sides, Valkyrie shivering in response. Valkyrie finally broke the kiss sensing Skulduggery becoming embarrassed. She looked at him with concern in her eyes, and she put a hand on his shoulder and led him to the couch to take a seat. Skulduggery's head drooped down trying to avoid her gaze.

"Skul, what's wrong?" Valkyrie asked turning his skull towards her.

Skulduggery sighed and mustered the courage to meet her eyes. He grasped her hands and began to speak.

"Val, I just feel bad that I can't kiss you properly. I've been trying to bring up the façade, but you always bat my hand away. Mind telling me why?"

Valkyrie looked at him and smiled. She placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned in towards him.

"Skul, that façade creeps me out to be honest. It's not you. I refuse to let you believe that because you are a skeleton you are a lesser person. I love you, Skul, just the way you are, and no façade can convince me otherwise. Never have I wished that you had real skin or anything, because you wouldn't be the same. Although I feel this way, I understand the way you feel too. If it embarrasses you to kiss me as a skeleton, you may put on the façade, no matter how I feel about the subject. I just want you to know that I want you to be happy and I never want you to be embarrassed or ashamed when you kiss me. Got it?"

Valkyrie kept her eyes like stone as she looked at him. Skulduggery stared at her in disbelief for wanting him to keep the façade down. It warmed his nonexistent heart to know she felt that way, and he was glad she also minded his feelings on the subject. He was quite lucky to have a girl like Val in his arms. He snapped back into the present and finally replied to Val's speech.

"Val, I just want you to be happy. I thought you were uncomfortable when I kissed you. I'm not soft and cuddly anymore, and I'm concerned that one day you will leave me out of displeasure. I just want to please you. You don't understand that having this façade irritates me. The only reason I kept it was for you, but now I understand you have the same feelings towards it. Just thinking about keeping something China gave me hurts. You won't care if I go back to the old disguise, will you? I just want to get rid of this thing."

Valkyrie smiled with content that he wanted to be himself. It hurt her that he thought kissing her as a skeleton would cause displeasure for her. He was very wrong about that. She returned her attention to Skul and held his hand.

"Skul, you can get rid of that façade whenever you feel like it. I certainly don't mind. I love you, and nothing will ever change that."

"You're not disappointed that I can never give you a new family?"

"My God, Skul. I would never be disappointed about that. We can always see what magic can provide, Skul. If not, we could always adopt."

Skulduggery was shocked that she didn't care that he couldn't replace her old family. How blessed he was to have this woman by his side.

"Val, you really feel this way?"

Valkyrie grinned and whispered, "Yes, I do."

Skulduggery returned her grin, and pulled her into another kiss. Valkyrie smiled against his teeth and pulled back.

"What about we take a little visit to the sanctuary, Mr. Pleasant?" she asked standing up to grab her coat.

"Of course, Mrs. Pleasant."

Skulduggery grinned as Val gave him a swift peck on the cheek. He donned his older disguise, and the couple made their way to the Bentley out front. Skulduggery opened Valkyrie's door for her, and she nodded her thanks. He hopped into the driver's side and looked at Valkyrie.

"This is it, Val. Let's see if they have any potion or spell to help our little crisis."

Valkyrie smiled at him and leaned back into her seat as they were off to the sanctuary.

* * *

After the long ride to the sanctuary, the detectives walked in hand in hand, receiving nods and glances from passing mages. They finally came to Ghastly's office and knocked on the door. Valkyrie could already hear Tipstaff's annoying voice as he thrust the door open.

"Oh, hello, detectives," he muttered pushing past them.

Valkyrie and Skulduggery looked at each other and shrugged. Tipstaff was always in a foul mood. Ghastly smiled at the couple and went back to his paperwork.

"How are my two favorite detectives?" he asked while scribbling his signature.

"We are quite well, Ghastly, except we have a problem that I could use your help with; being an elder and all."

Ghastly flinched at 'elder', but let him continue.

"Um…Val and I were wondering…"

"Wondering what?" Ghastly asked, confused. It became quite clear Skulduggery couldn't get his thoughts out, so Ghastly looked at Valkyrie with concern. She blushed and looked at the floor thinking of a way to say it.

"SkulandIaretryingtohaveababy," she whispered slightly looking up at Ghastly. He looked at her in disappointment.

"Say it louder and slower, my dear," Ghastly suggested.

Valkyrie sighed but obliged. "Skul and I are trying to have a baby!" she exclaimed looking at the smirk on Ghastly's face. He chuckled in response, and realized the problem.

"Well, I'm pretty sure one of our doctors has something for the two of you. Skulduggery is always causing problems."

Skulduggery looked as if he were glaring at Ghastly as he turned on his heels and walked out the door.

"I refuse to let Nye help in this!" Skulduggery yelled as he strode down the hallway to find a normal doctor.

Valkyrie stood awkwardly in Ghastly's office and scratched the back of her head.

"Yeah, sorry about him, Ghastly. You know how he feels about Nye."

Ghastly nodded his head in understanding and waved Valkyrie off. She exited the cluttered room and roamed the halls in search of Skulduggery. She passed Nye's medical table through one of the open doors and quickly walked past it. She did not want its help with anything for sure, especially when it came to a baby. She soon heard Skulduggery's velvety voice as he argued with a secretary. She sighed and pulled him away from the desk as the secretary rolled her eyes.

"I am not letting Nye operate on my wife!" he called as Valkyrie dragged him away from the desk.

She pulled Skul into a janitor's closet and scolded him on the argument.

"Skul, why were you arguing with that secretary?" she asked, her hands on her hips.

"She said the only doctor who would know anything about our situation was Nye! Why must he know everything, Val? I just don't trust him."

Valkyrie sighed and hugged Skulduggery. She looked back up at him and placed a hand on his chest.

"It looks like Nye's our only solution, Skul."

Skul sighed in defeat as they made their way to Nye's office.

* * *

A/N: Well this is going to be a two part, maybe I will keep continuing it….I dunno! But R&R as always.


	6. Chapter 6: Oh GreatAnother One

Chapter 6: Great…Another One

A/N: **NightCatMau this is where I borrow your baby idea. ** I do not own Skulduggery nor Valkyrie, as much as I wish I did. ENJOY THIS CHAPTER :3

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Skulduggery led Valkyrie into Nye's operating room, his hand not leaving the holster of his gun. The place was dimly lit, one flickering light bulb hanging from the center of the room over a metal table.

"Nye!" Skulduggery growled, not moving away from Valkyrie.

Valkyrie stayed behind Skulduggery as she heard that high-pitched cackle it made. Skulduggery kept them into the light and looked into the dark for Nye. He was getting quite irritated with the thing's game, and sighed.

"Nye, stop with the games and get out here. Turn the damn lights on while you're at it," Skulduggery called into the dark.

Valkyrie squinted into the blackness and caught a glimpse of a tall figure. It was obviously Nye, judging by the abnormal limbs hanging from it. It stepped into the light, a devilish grin upon its long mouth. Its laughter was squeaky as it walked up to Skulduggery and leaned forward.

"What may I do for you, detective?" Nye offered bowing.

Skulduggery growled at his gesture and waved a hand in front of its beady black eyes. Nye gave another cackle at Skulduggery's impatience.

"Nye, do you have any potions?"

"You know you're not helping your situation. Be specific, Pleasant. Oh my, is that Valkyrie behind you? Hello Valkyrie, I've missed you," Nye purred.

Valkyrie cringed in disgust, and Skulduggery's gun was out in an instant. Nye laughed at how protective the skeleton was being. Something was up with those two…then it hit him.

"My my, you two are _together?_"

Skulduggery and Valkyrie both raised their left hands and gestured to the rings. This brought Nye's laughter to new heights. He finally gained control of himself and got back to business.

"So, Mr. and Mrs. Pleasant, you need a potion for a baby? I shall help, but this is quite amusing."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. She was sick of this thing's games. This wasn't as funny as he tried to make it. A child was no laughing matter, and Valkyrie really wanted to slap some sense into the spider-like creature.

Nye walked over to the other side of his operating room and dug into a cupboard. Dust consumed the room, Valkyrie's allergies flaring. She coughed and waved the dust away from her face. Nye wrenched himself out of the cupboard holding a small vile. It was filled with a strange green liquid, making Valkyrie suspicious.

"What is that?" she asked raising a dark eyebrow.

Nye held the bottle out in front of her face and pointed to the labels.

"This will help with your situation, Valkyrie. Now I should warn you this potion gives you everything a normal pregnancy would when you drink it. After nine months, you will give birth naturally. Your stomach will increase in size after a while. You know, the usual things. Here you are."

Valkyrie reached out a hand and grabbed the bottle, Nye instructing her to go into a bathroom and drink it. She refused to drink it until Skulduggery studied the label, so he did, and after a sigh, approved. Valkyrie left the two to talk and rushed into a bathroom. She was curious about this potion, and she hoped it wasn't a trick on Nye's part.

She reached a women's restroom and pulled the door open. She stepped inside, studying the bottle cautiously. She couldn't believe how quickly they agreed to Nye's offer, but if it would bless her with a child, she didn't care.

"This is it," she told herself, opening the vile.

She through the cork onto the bathroom counter, and flung herself onto it. She took one last breath and stared at the bottle. She decided she should smell it, and cautiously brought it up to her nose. It smelled strangely of roses and baby wipes.

_Well, here goes nothing_.

Valkyrie shrugged and gulped down the green liquid. It tasted like ginger as it traveled down her throat. She was waiting for any sudden effects after she drank it, and one kicked in. Her stomach felt heavy, and her hunger pangs kicked in. She grasped her stomach, and she knew there was now a baby inside her. She loved magic, even thought there was some downsides to it. She rushed into Nye's operating room to see Nye wagging a finger in the clearly annoyed Skulduggery's face. They heard Valkyrie's footsteps and both brought themselves to look at her. Skulduggery gave her a grin as tears welled up in her eyes. She was pregnant, and they were going to be parents. She was very ecstatic as Skulduggery brought her into a tight embrace. Nye coughed and gestured for her to sit on the metal table. She looked hesitantly to Skulduggery who nodded, and she hopped up on to it.

"Ok, Valkyrie. I'm just going to listen for a heartbeat. If there isn't one, don't fear, because it could mean two things. One: the potion failed and you're not carrying a child, and two: the baby has picked up a trait from Skulduggery over here. I hate to inform you this, but you may give birth to a skeleton."

Valkyrie sighed and looked at Skulduggery who didn't care either way. She plopped backwards on the table, allowing Nye to check for a heartbeat. He took out a stethoscope and came towards her. He gave one last glance at her before checking. He listened for a minute before shaking his head. He took a breath and began speaking once again to the displeasure of Valkyrie's ears.

"Well there you are. No heartbeat. Now, leave me so I can experiment. Other doctors here will help you later to see if something's there. Goodbye detectives."

* * *

Skulduggery was sitting next to Valkyrie in the booth as she ate. The pregnancy was surely affecting Val, who was eating like a pig, but Skulduggery found it adorable. He remembered the last time he dealt with a pregnant woman. It was not that fun to be honest. He knew Val's personality wasn't going to help in the situation either.

"Whoa, slow down, Val. I don't need you choking to death. There you go."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes as she took in another mouthful. "Skulduggery, you leave me alone, understood? You men don't know what it's like with something growing inside you."

Skulduggery groaned. This was going to be a long nine months.

* * *

A/N: I know it's shorter than the other ones, but eso sí que es.

(That's Spanish for 'it is what it is') R&R Next chapter up soon…Maybe today since our guests didn't show up…so depressing.


	7. Chapter 7: Baby Names & a Lunatic

Chapter 7: What is it?

**_A/N: _**Thank you for all of your great reviews! I can't explain it, but I am in a Valduggery mood. I guess I could upload a couple of chapters today for you! I don't have anything better to do :| Enjoy

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Valkyrie couldn't wait to get this thing out of her belly. She was lounging on the couch in the living room trying to watch TV, but the bugger kept kicking her really hard. She had been channel surfing and stuffing potato chips into her mouth when Skulduggery came out of his office.

"Had enough chips, Val?" he chuckled as he sat down beside her.

Valkyrie snuggled up into his side, but shot him a cold glare.

"Shut up, Skul. You have no _idea _how much pain I'm in. Also, I am having cravings! I wouldn't normally eat this much! Are you kidding?" Valkyrie finished with a punch to her husband's shoulder.

"Ow…that's abuse, Val," Skulduggery whined rubbing his shoulder.

Valkyrie sighed and muttered, "Get over it."

As the couple got settled in watching some vampire show, Skulduggery's mobile rang. He looked down at who was calling: Ghastly. He sighed and stood up, leaving Val's arms. He didn't need her to throw another tantrum if he was called in today.

"Hello?" Skulduggery called, leaning against his desk.

"Hello, Skulduggery. There is a case for you down here. I know how you feel about leaving Val, but I don't think it's the brightest idea to have her tag along. One kick to the stomach and you know what could happen. Now, get here as soon as possible so I can give you some files."

"Ok, Ghastly. I'll bring Val to the sanctuary so she can at least be with Tanith. I'm glad you found a cure for that remnant, by the way. Less abuse hurled towards me from Val."

Ghastly chuckled as the two friends said their goodbyes, and Skulduggery snapped the mobile shut. He sighed and strode into the living room, ready to attempt getting Valkyrie off that couch. He leaned against the wall and watched as Valkyrie looked up at him with a curious glance.

"What's going on now, Skul?" she asked flinching as she sat up.

"Well, we, rather I, have a case. So if you could get off the couch that would be great. I'm dropping you off at the sanctuary so you don't do anything dangerous. Ok?"

Valkyrie sighed and rubbed her blossoming stomach. It had been a long eight and a half months, and the baby was due soon.

Skulduggery helped Valkyrie off of the couch and donned his disguise. The two walked out of their home and made their way to the Bentley. _This is going to be a long ride, _Skulduggery thought as he opened her door. Valkyrie slid in, and Skulduggery hopped in beside her waiting for her first complaint.

* * *

"Hello, Val!" Tanith screeched as she enveloped her best friend and sister into a big bear hug.

"Hey, Tanith," Val replied returning the hug.

Ghastly walked off with Skulduggery, after waving to the women, to retrieve the case files. Although Valkyrie completely agreed she shouldn't put her and the baby in danger on this one, she felt terrible that Skulduggery would be doing it alone. Tanith could see the pain written on her best friend's face and squeezed her into another hug.

"Hey, Skul has been doing this before he met you. Don't worry about it. Instead, worry about what you're going to name that baby. I want to help, of course."

Valkyrie smiled at Tanith's enthusiasm towards the situation and agreed to an hour of figuring out what to name the baby.

"I don't know, Tanith. Should we be doing this without Skul? He is the father…"

"Pfft! Knowing Skul, he probably wants to name it after himself. You know he has a huge ego, Val."

Valkyrie laughed because she knew this was true and replied, "Yeah, we've had this talk. First I asked, 'Skul, what do you want to name it if it's a boy?' And his response was: 'Val, you already know my answer: Skulduggery.' I knew he wasn't joking so I asked a different question. 'Skul, what if it's a girl?' You should have seen the look he gave me. He was like, 'Well girls can be named Skulduggery too, you know.'"

Valkyrie and Tanith broke out into fits of laughter at the egotistical skeleton. A girl named Skulduggery? That was hilarious.

"Well, Val, I wouldn't enjoy calling my niece 'Skulduggery', but if it was a boy I would understand. Any other names—WAIT! This name's priceless!" Tanith shrieked with a devilish tone in her laughter.

Valkyrie face palmed and waited for the dumb response that was about to emit from her best friend's mouth. Tanith laughed at Valkyrie's reaction.

"You know, Val, our favorite animated movie is _The Nightmare before Christmas._"

Valkyrie's head shot up and she glared at the thought.

"Really, Tanith? You want me to name my kid Jack?"

Tanith only gave a smug smile and nodded in reply. She knew Val thought it was a genius idea, and that inside, she really loved the name. Skulduggery may not be so ecstatic about the name, but he could get over it. Tanith really had faith in the name, and could picture the Pleasant family. Valkyrie, Skulduggery, and Jack Pleasant. It had a ring to it, of course.

"Hello, Tanith! You there?" Valkyrie called waving a hand in front of the blonde's face.

"Oh, yeah, just thinking."

After their next fifteen minutes of discussion, they came up with the names Jack and Victoria. They were perfect names with rings to them, and even Skulduggery himself couldn't deny that. Although, maybe Valkyrie should have told Tanith there was a chance the baby maybe a skeleton. Knowing she couldn't forgive herself if she didn't warn her in advance, Valkyrie sighed and mustered the courage to tell her.

"Tanith?"

"Yes?"

Tanith saw the nervousness in Valkyrie's eyes and facial expression. Something was eating at her. Something she just had to get out of her system, other than the baby of course.

"Well…how should I put this?"

"What is it, Val?"

Valkyrie took a deep breath and laid a hand on her large stomach. She looked up at Tanith and took another breath.

"This baby," Valkyrie pointed to her stomach, "may be a skeleton…A living one just like Skul."

Valkyrie waited for the horrified expression to make its way across Tanith's face, but nothing of the sort did. Tanith just squeaked with delight and clapped her hands, while Valkyrie shot a confused her way.

"No screams of shock or anything? You're glad it might be a skeleton?" Valkyrie was so confused.

"Val, if it's a skeleton, that's even more perfect! The name Jack would be _sooo_ adorable!" Tanith squealed with delight, clasping her best friend's hand.

Valkyrie laughed at the thought of a miniature version of Skulduggery, then face palmed.

"Oh god, Tanith. This baby might have Skulduggery's ego…"

There was a shuffle from the other side of the room as Skulduggery stepped into view, holding a ton of files.

"And what, may I ask, is so bad about my ego?" he asked stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Valkyrie blushed and looked at the floor. Tanith just giggled like a maniac as she threw herself back into the couch. Skulduggery tapped his foot as he waited for one of the two women to make a response.

"_Weeeelll…._Skul, we were discussing baby names while you and Ghastly got the files. And where, I'd like to know, is Ghastly?" Valkyrie asked looking behind Skulduggery for the tailor.

Skulduggery walked over and sat down straightening his maroon colored tie.

"Poor Ghastly is being pestered by Tipstaff. Something about paperwork I believe. Fun, right?"

Valkyrie gave a sad laugh and put her head in her hands.

"Poor Ghastly is right."

Skulduggery suddenly looked up at Val with confusion.

"Wait, you and the giggling maniac over there were discussing baby names?" he asked watching Valkyrie's face turn crimson.

"Well, yeah. We were bored I guess," she replied, her face still heating up.

"May I ask what you came up with?" Skulduggery leaned forward, his 'facial' expression serious.

There was another burst of laughter from Tanith, as she threw herself on the floor. Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie for help as he gestured to the woman rolling on the floor in laughter. Tanith suddenly spoke, stuttering due to her continuous laughter.

"I-if it's a b-boy we c-came up with…w-wait for it! J-Jack!" Tanith struggled to continue as her laughter reached new heights.

Skulduggery face palmed at why Tanith had chosen that name, but admired the creativity behind it. He actually like the name to be honest. Tanith grasped her side as she finished her thoughts.

"A-and if it's a g-girl, Val picked V-Victoria. Whew…there we go. No more laughing for me! Ow…it hurts."

Skulduggery stared at Tanith as she finished recollecting herself and sat back down on the couch leaning against Val. Valkyrie face palmed at Tanith's little laughing fit, and looked back at Skulduggery rolling her eyes.

"Sorry about her, Skul," Valkyrie elbowed Tanith, "but what do you think about the names?"

Skulduggery chuckled and sighed as he reached for Val's hand. He tilted his head at her and smiled.

"Those names are quite perfect, I must say, Val."

Valkyrie smiled as her husband gave her a warm hug, Tanith groaning in the background.

"Get a room!" she yelled swatting the couple in the head.

* * *

Did you enjoy? I hope so...Poor Tanith witnessing all of that Valduggery fluffiness! What will the baby be? A shout out to anyone who reviews and gets it correct.


	8. Chapter 8: Bad Timing

Chapter 8: Bad Timing

A/N: My God...Shout out DEFINITELY goes out to **Louisiana Stephenic **who has guessed my whole plot. It's both astounding yet disappointing. But whatever both guesses were correct. Another big thanks to **NightCatMau** who has blessed me with her wonderful reviews.

* * *

Valkyrie sat in Ghastly's shop next to Tanith watching a movie related to the zombie apocalypse. Valkyrie sighed as she watched one man make the dumbest decision of traveling at night alone. There goes his life...sadly it was to be expected. As Valkyrie was disappointed in the movie's guessable plot, Tanith was simply devouring every minute of it. Her blue eyes were widened as they possible could be, and she blinked only after a few minutes. Valkyrie was just amazed she was so into this movie when none of it made sense. Tanith decided to take her movie watching experience a bit further as she got up on both knees and leaned forward to get closer. Apparently, there was a suspenseful scene going on, because Tanith's eyes were bugging out of her head at this point.

"I called it! Knew that guy was dead meat!" Tanith screeched in victory as her prediction came true.

Valkyrie watched while cringing as the man's guts covered everything within a few yards radius. This was plain nasty, but there was really nothing to do to keep Tanith entertained while being pregnant. Surely, she wouldn't have a magic match with Tanith in this state, so movies were all they had. Valkyrie soon couldn't keep her thoughts cooped up as face palmed.

"This movie is ridiculous, Tanith. I honestly don't understand how you find it both amusing and suspenseful, when clearly it's neither of the two. The movie makers tend to pay more attention to the gore and blood these days."

Tanith's head slowly spun around toward Valkyrie as if she'd been slapped. She made a disgusted face at Valkyrie's words and snapped her fingers.

"I'll have you know this movie is a classic. Don't be hating on my movie selections, Val."

Valkyrie laughed at her somewhat threat and attempt to defend this movie. It was quite pathetic to defend such a movie, but Tanith had a soft heart to these movies and couldn't listen to any insults hurled towards them.

"Not to distract nor interrupt, Tanith, but may I ask _why _these movies are so entertaining to you?"

Tanith took a while to respond since her attention was mainly focused on the flashing television screen in front of her. After another long and horribly detailed zombie attack, she finally spun around towards Valkyrie and shrugged.

"I guess I like these movies because the zombies actually put up a challenge. Not like the cruddy zombies we fight such as Scapegrace and Thrasher. My God they are pathetic."

Valkyrie laughed in agreement and sighed. Tanith was right...Scapegrace and Thrasher were the most boring to fight zombies ever. At least whenever they go up against them they won. That's all that mattered, because if they did put up a fight, there was a chance they would lose, and that was not the best thing.

"I guess you're- arghhh..."

Valkyrie doubled over in pain cutting off her words. Tanith rushed over to help her friend whose hand was grasping her stomach tightly as she began to sweat.

"Val! Oh my God, are you ok?" Tanith questioned putting a soothing hand on Valkyrie's back. Her blue eyes were laced with concern as she helped Valkyrie to stand.

"T-Tanith?" Valkyrie asked her eyes as wide as saucers as she looked up at Tanith.

"Y-yes, Val?" Tanith replied not removing the firm grip on Valkyrie's shoulders.

Valkyrie took a minute to respond as she clutched her stomach and began to breathe heavily. Tanith was consumed with fear since Skulduggery nor Ghastly were present in the building, and even Ravel had business to attend to. She focused her attention back down to Valkyrie watching her mouth for a response. Valkyrie mumbled something under her breath about how cheesy whatever she was going to say would sound, and sighed.

"My water broke."

* * *

"Damn it, Skul. Where did that creep go?" Ghastly whispered as his back met Skulduggery's.

Skulduggery's gun did not waver as he scanned the dark and gloomy surroundings. Of course, the Necromancer decided to shadow walk away right when Skulduggery went to shackle him. Shadow walking was one of the reasons he hated Necromancers; Valkyrie excluded.

Ghastly suddenly elbowed Skulduggery in the ribs earning a growl, and pointed with his gun to an alley. Dark alleys were such a classic, and apparently, this Necromancer was a fan of the classics. Skulduggery turned his gaze towards the alley and heard a loud _bang _as the idiot tripped over a dirty trashcan. Next came a loud curse from the man as he stubbed his toe on the brick wall. Ghastly and Skulduggery chuckled at this pathetic sight. He really failed at being secretive with his ambush.

As Ghastly and Skulduggery started to creep up behind the Necromancer, Ghastly's mobile went off and spoiled their sneak attack. Skulduggery shot his skeleton glare towards Ghastly and nodded towards the Necromancer. Obviously they had to catch this thief before he caused a ruckus so loud mortals wanted check it out. While Skulduggery silently stalked towards the clueless Necromancer, Ghastly looked down at the caller ID. Tanith. He nervously looked towards Skulduggery and whispered into the mobile.

"Tanith, is everything alright? Skul and I are in the middle of catching the thief…" Ghastly mumbled, slightly irritated.

"No, everything's _not _alright, Ghastly. Val just went into labor," Tanith murmured into the phone, shaking with nervousness.

Ghastly sighed with shock and hurried his goodbye. This was bad timing all right. Although, being Skulduggery's baby, he wasn't all that shocked. Ghastly snuck back around the dumpster and heard a sniff from the pathetic Necromancer as Skulduggery hauled him over by his shackles. Ghastly nervously smiled as Skulduggery grinned in victory and noticed Ghastly's odd behavior.

"Uh, Ghastly, not to pry, but are you ok?" Skulduggery questioned bending down to face his sweaty friend.

"Um, Skul, Val just went into labor," he muttered back, dragging a hand down his sweat covered face.

"Oh, that's just excellent! Come on Ghastly into the Bentley, I'll get this mumbling fool," Skulduggery spat grasping the Necromancer's feet and dragging him to the boot of the Bentley.

Skulduggery hurriedly popped open the boot and scooped up the man with a grunt. After getting the overweight Necromancer into the back of the Bentley, Skulduggery slammed it shut and ran to the driver's side. Ghastly was already inside with his seat belt buckled as tight as he could possibly get. He already had guessed Skulduggery was going to drive like a lunatic all the way to the Irish Sanctuary. This was going to be very dangerous.

"Ghastly, you are as pale as a ghost. Guess you know me too well."

After he was buckled himself, Skulduggery put the Bentley in drive and sped off towards the sanctuary, Ghastly gripping the dashboard all the way there.

* * *

Soon, the Bentley was messily parked in front of the sanctuary, Ghastly and Skulduggery rushing into the entrance as quickly as possible.

After terrorizing every nurse and doctor in the sanctuary, Skulduggery finally retrieved the room number in which Valkyrie was in.

He ran down the hallway with Ghastly at his heels until they came to the correct room number. Skulduggery thrust open the door and came stumbling into the room, his hat flying off of his skull. He stood with grace and dusted himself and his gaze met his wife who was cradling a small bundle with a sweaty smile on her pale face. He immediately became mesmerized with the blue blanket against her chest…his baby. Skulduggery held his hat to his chest and slowly walked over to the hospital bed his family lay in.

"Val?" he whispered, his voice full of sympathy.

Valkyrie looked up with sweat plastered to her face and replied, "Yes, my love?"

Skulduggery didn't respond as he crouched by the bed and went to look inside the blanket. He inched nearer as he saw the outline of jaws and tiny skeletal fingers. No wonder there wasn't a heartbeat…his son was a skeleton.

"He's a skeleton, Val," he responded, putting his gloved hand tenderly to his son's cheekbone.

Valkyrie gave a soft chuckle and whispered back, "I think I noticed, Skul. What's wrong?"

Skulduggery sighed and looked back up at Valkyrie, concern etched into his skeletal features. He grasped her hand and looked down again, as if figuring out what to say.

"I'm sorry," he murmured not returning her gaze.

Valkyrie about lost it as she put a finger under his chin and made him look up at her. He saw the anger on her face as she came closer.

"Skul, don't you _dare _apologize! I love you just the way you are, same with our baby over here! Must I repeat myself? I _love _you, Skulduggery! Don't ever apologize for falling in love with me or the state you and our son are in. I swear, there are times I just need to slap some sense into you," she scolded, the anger slowly fading from her voice.

Skulduggery sighed in defeat and tilted his head to show he was smiling, Val returning the smile and holding out their son. He gladly accepted and looked down at the miniature skeleton in his arms. He was putting his fingers in his jaws and making soft noises as he turned his head towards his father. Skulduggery tilted his head, and his son copied. Skulduggery gave a soft chuckle as his baby gurgled and laughed too.

"What's the name, Val?" Skulduggery asked not looking away from his son.

"Well, Tanith, you, and I all agreed on Jack, remember?"

"Ah, yes. What about a middle name?"

Valkyrie looked down in deep concentration as names flew through her head. She suddenly looked up with a smile and sighed.

"What about Christopher? He does take after his dad," she replied with a wink.

Skulduggery smiled at her and whispered gently, "Jack Christopher Pleasant."

* * *

**A/N: STOP THE TAPE, THIS KID NEEDS TO BE LOCKED AWAY! **

Ehh, some Eminem for ya there. Sorry about the amounts of fluffiness, but it seemed to be necessary. Skul is such an old softy. Well, I have a few ideas for some new chapters. Sorry about the wait, my computer is very slow. So…yeah.

WAIT. I don't even remember if Skulduggery said his middle name to Valkyrie, but now his middle name shall be Christopher.

Until next time…**Louisiana Stephenic…I must give you a small hand of applause for guessing the plot of this chapter.** Well played, well played. -.-


	9. Chapter 9: A Threat

Chapter 9: A Threat

A/N: Well….What can I say, Jack is around twenty-two, leaving Valkyrie at forty-two, leaving Skul in the four hundreds somewhere. Valkyrie is still her young beautiful self. _Aaaanyways _sorry about reposting chapter eight, but I made a HUGE mistake. Ehhh eso si que es…(It is what it is).

**HEY** I know you skip past these, but OMG, my mom found me the first Skulduggery Pleasant book in some old lady's closed down book place, and it's the EDITOR'S EDITION. There was only a few of those, and now I own one! It has grammar mistakes and all kinds of cool stuff…It's a little beat up, but whatever.

NOW. READ. ON.

* * *

Jack Pleasant was now all grown up, his deep voice as mesmerizing as his father's and his style the same. Boy, he was a chip off the old block as it went.

Today, Jack was in his 'uncle' Ghastly's shop with Tanith squealing at his resemblance to Skulduggery. God, she was like a firecracker as her eyes lit up and she bounced around the room. His mother and father were doing a case somewhere, leaving the adult skeleton to wander off to familiar places.

"So, Jack, how have you been?" Ghastly asked, cutting a fine fabric fresh out of the sewing machine.

"Great. Just bored, I guess. God, that house is quiet without dad," Jack laughed rubbing the back of his gleaming skull.

Ghastly chuckled as he imagined Skulduggery talking nonstop, and replied, "Val isn't being loud for once?"

Jack laughed at that and whispered, "Honestly, I think she's thinking of ways to kill him as he rambles on and on. Eh, he's a talker, but I take after him…except the ego part, you guys are blessed for that."

Ghastly chuckled and agreed as he heard Tanith's giggling start up again from the back corner. She was obviously eavesdropping as the two men carried on with their conversation. Ghastly decided to block out the giggle and kept snipping at the fabric with his scissors.

"So, have you picked a job in the sanctuary yet? I _am _an elder, so I could really help you out with that. Give me your thoughts, boy."

Jack sighed and took a seat as he pulled his hat from his head. He dusted off his suit and looked back up at the tailor who was patiently waiting for answer with his eyebrows raised.

"Well, I know this is going to sound…well, mushy, but I really want to follow in my father's footsteps. I mean, being a detective? Kind of sounds fun if you ask me," Jack responded his gaze falling onto the ceiling.

Tanith's insane giggling came once again from the back room, and Ghastly shouted back to her, "Tanith, my wife, _please _calm down before I feel the need to purchase restraints!"

The laughter suddenly died down and Tanith peeked her head out from the doorframe. She finally saw Jack, and rushed over to envelope him in a huge hug.

"Nice to see you!" she greeted, taking a long time to part from him.

Jack was confused as he replied, "Uh, Tanith, weren't you eavesdropping a second ago?"

Tanith gave a blank expression as a woman with dark hair and pale blue eyes stepped out from behind her. The woman blushed as Tanith hugged her close. Jack just stared as he wondered what was going on in front of him.

"No, I was. Hi, my name's Elizabeth. I'm their daughter," the woman replied, putting a hand out.

Jack accepted and shook her hand, still dazing off with questions wandering in his mind.

"So, you're my cousin?" he asked looking up at her.

Elizabeth laughed and said, "Yes, and I heard you want to be a detective. As do I. Maybe I could be your partner, and we can do all kinds of cases together! You'll be my most favorite and only cousin!"

Jack laughed at her amount of enthusiasm as she squeezed the life out of him. She reminded him of his mum, and that made him trust her even more. But how come he didn't know he had a cousin?

"Um, Elizabeth?" he started stiffening up.

"Yes?" she replied still bear hugging him.

"How come I didn't know about you before?" he asked looking down into her blue eyes.

"Well…I lived in England for a while…you know, trying to find a job. I finally decided magic was the best path, so I came back to become a detective."

Jack didn't know how to reply so he just replied, "Ah."

* * *

"Skul, there are times you drive me crazy. This is one of those times, my love," Valkyrie whispered putting a hand on her husband's shoulder.

Skulduggery sighed and looked into her chocolate eyes while replying, "I guess I'm just worried about Jack."

Valkyrie gave a sad sigh and looked into his sockets. He was such a softy, and he didn't need to worry so much.

"Skul, sweetie, Jack is twenty two. He can take care of himself, so you mustn't worry. I hate to see you so tense while we're on a case. Please don't worry."

Skulduggery's head drooped as he remembered the past and he began to whisper, "Val, what if it happens again?"

Valkyrie gasped and a tear went down her cheek as she tried to sooth him.

"Skulduggery Pleasant! Don't you _dare _bring that up! It will not happen ever again, your family won't be taken away from you. We are staying right here, do you hear me? Now look at me," Valkyrie ordered.

Skulduggery turned in driver's seat, (Don't worry the Bentley is parked), and looked at his wife. She cupped his skull in her hands and pulled him to her and giving him a kiss. She tugged on his tie and pulled him even closer, trying to lighten his mood. As the two tried to get closer, Skulduggery's mobile suddenly went off. Skulduggery sighed and sat up to answer it, earning a low growl from Valkyrie.

"Hello?" he called into the mobile.

"Hello, Pleasant," came a deep voice from the other end.

Skulduggery was consumed with shock as he stared at the phone.

"Who are you?" he murmured into the phone anger rising in his velvety voice.

"Aw, you don't recognize me? Such a shame...Well I have a surprise for you, Pleasant. Ooh, look a letter demanding me to kill the Pleasant family…Guess I have my next assignment. Goodbye, Pleasant, you'll find out who I am later."

The line went dead, and Skulduggery gave a roar of anger. Valkyrie looked up in fear as Skulduggery covered his face with his hands. Valkyrie put a hand to his shoulder as he made growling noises.

"What's wrong, Skul?" she asked, her face full of concern.

"Someone is out to kill us. Someone who should be dead…I watched him die!"

* * *

**A/N: **DUN DUN DUNNN!

Cliffhanger? I thinkith so!

Next chapter will be up soon. CAN ANYONE GUESS WHO THE UNDEAD CRIMINAL IS?

MWAHAHAHAHA!

Oh. That was bad. Need to work on that laugh…

*points a finger* Don't judge me!


	10. Chapter 10: Tesseract is Back

Chapter 10: Tesseract is Back

A/N: I know, I know, Tesseract is dead. But he is honestly super awesome, so I wanted to bring him back with my magic. Ta Daaa!

*cough* enjoy.

Hmmm...I shall make some romance in between Elizabeth and Jack. I mean they began to call eachother cousins, but they aren't _**blood**_related. SO I SHALL DO AS I PLEASE.

I APOLOGIZE FOR GOING OFF TRACK WITH THE VALDUGGERY, BUT THERE SHALL BE MORE. JUST...LATER.

* * *

"Jack! Jack!" Elizabeth screeched as she jumped up and down.

Jack stopped himself from getting into his Bentley and looked up slightly annoyed.

"What, Elizabeth?" he muttered, putting his skull in his hands.

"Can I go with you? Pwetty Pweez!" she begged pulling off a puppy dog face.

"Ughhh...Fine. Elizabeth, get in. If you mess around, you will upset me, and you don't want to see me upset."

Jack hopped into the car and buckled up and watched to make sure Elizabeth didn't touch anything. She buckled up and her eyes lit up as she saw the radio. As she reached to turn it on, Jack grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes.

"No radio, Elizabeth," Jack whispered not taking his gaze off of her.

Elizabeth moaned and began to pout as she looked out the window. God, for a twenty year old, she acted like a child.

* * *

"Skul, you are not helping me out here. Who did you watch die?" Valkyrie asked trying to look at his face.

"Val...Tesseract is back, and he has been paid to kill all of us," he muttered, moaning as he threw his skull back into his hands.

Valkyrie was purely shocked as disbelief took over. How did Tesseract come back? It wasn't even possible since Vile pierced him with shadows. Skulduggery was right, he had watched Tesseract die right on that bench. Was this a nightmare, or a figment of Valkyrie's imagination? She didn't know, but her family was in danger.

"Valkyrie, we need to kill Tesseract before he kills Jack and Elizabeth," he whispered gripping Valkyrie's shoulders.

Valkyrie couldn't help it when tears streamed down her face, and Skulduggery rushed to sooth her. They had to get to Ghastly's shop right away, and nothing could interfere at this moment, not even their case.

* * *

"Elizabeth, please don't push that, you'll turn on the windshield wipers. No, that's the glove department, don't open that either," Jack scolded as the woman proceeded to touch every button she could get her hands on.

"Jack, I know what I'm doing!" she shouted pushing yet another button. The Bentley's head lights came on, which angered Jack as everyone looked their way.

Thank God he had his disguise.

"Elizabeth, we are almost to the sanctuary. Calm down before I cuff you and put you in the trunk!" he warned his hands on the steering wheel tightening.

"Pfft. Fine." Elizabeth muttered looking out the window.

Trees surrounded them as they went down a dirt road that, according to Jack, was a shortcut to the sanctuary. Elizabeth soon became scared and she grabbed Jack's free hand for comfort. Jack cringed with disgust as he looked at Elizabeth who was now in a fetal position in the passenger's seat.

"Elizabeth, what are you doing?" Jack asked, glancing over at her.

Elizabeth didn't answer as she hopped up with fear and pointed to the road. Jack realized he wasn't paying attention and swung his head towards the windshield. He looked forward into the darkness of the night, and flicked on the headlights. About ten yards away from them stood a tall and strong man directly in their path. A silver and well crafted mask covered his face, which made him look ten times more frightening. He was wearing all black and carrying a giant knife of some sort as he started walking towards them.

"Bloody Hell!" Jack screamed, swerving the Bentley into a ditch on the side of the road.

He reached over to cover Elizabeth as the ground and the Bentley made contact, the airbags going off immediately. Jack was completely fine, but he was concerned about Elizabeth. She was annoying, but that didn't mean he wanted her to die. He unbuckled Elizabeth's seat belt and threw himself out of his door. He ran over to the passenger's side, glancing behind him for the masked man. There he stood thirty yards away watching as Jack hurried to haul the unconscious Elizabeth out of the door. Her dark hair was plastered to her scalp with blood, which quickened Jack's pace. He picked her up bridal style, and ran into the woods, using the air to direct him. They weren't that far from the sanctuary, but Jack was worried that the masked man would get to them before he got there.

Jack decided enough was enough after a few meters, and rose into the air with Elizabeth. Flying would probably help them get to safety, and it seemed to be the only way to get away from that masked man. He gripped Elizabeth's waist as they soared to the sanctuary over the green treetops.

* * *

"Where is Jack?" Skulduggery roared as he slammed the door to Ghastly's shop shut.

Ghastly and Tanith looked up in shock at the angered detective and rushed over. Ghastly put a hand on his best friend's shoulder to calm him, even though it was impossible.

"Skulduggery! Calm down, Jack and my daughter are on their way to the sanctuary! They are okay, calm down," Ghastly ordered, bringing his friend to the couch to take a seat.

Skulduggery was still seething with anger as he was forced onto the couch with Valkyrie in tears next to him. He cradled Valkyrie to his chest, and stared up at the confused couple in front of them. Tanith wandered over with concerned eyes and slowly crouched down.

"What's happened, Val?" she asked rubbing her knee.

Valkyrie looked up with tear stained cheeks and murmured with another tear, "Tesseract is back and wants to kill us. He called Skulduggery, and apparently someone hired him to kill the Pleasant family. Who would hire him?"

Tanith didn't know how to answer, and looked down and started to think. Who despised the Pleasant family all of a sudden? She couldn't think of any alive villains. As she was dragged into deep thought, Ghastly's phone went off producing an awkward silence.

"Hello?" Ghastly said into the mobile.

"Hello, Elder Bespoke," Tipstaff greeted from the other line.

"Tipstaff, what do you need?" Ghastly asked, slightly irritated.

"Your daughter and Pleasant's son are here...both with slight injuries."

Ghastly became furious and concerned, and walked out of the shop, leaving everyone to follow in confusion. Tanith walked up to put a gentle hand on her husband's shoulder, and his posture slowly sank.

"Tanith, we have a problem. Elizabeth...is hurt," Ghastly whispered his eyes on her hand which stiffened.

Tanith burst into tears and muttering things under her breath as Valkyrie helped her into the van, fresh tears covering he face as well. Before Skulduggery hopped into the passenger's seat, Ghastly gripped his shoulder and turned him towards him.

"Skulduggery?" Ghastly whispered, showing this wasn't for Valkyrie to hear.

"Yes?" Skulduggery replied, confusion etched into his features.

"I forgot to mention one detail," Ghastly explained, still whispering.

"Sorry?" Skulduggery looked at Ghastly in confusion.

"Jack is there too," Ghastly whispered with concern on his face.

"What do you mean, Ghastly? Is my son hurt?" Skulduggery demanded, his voice starting to raise.

Ghastly tried to calm him, but he gave a slow nod that set Skulduggery off.

"Take me to the sanctuary, _now _Ghastly," Skulduggery ordered, venom in his velvety voice.

Ghastly nodded as they hopped into the white van and were off. Tanith couldn't control the tears that helplessly poured from her eyes. Her daughter Elizabeth was injured, no one could calm her or sooth her when she knew something bad had happened to her own baby.

"Tanith, everything will be alright," Valkyrie whispered, hugging her best friend.

Tanith had her knees to her face, her tousled blond hair everywhere in her face, sadness etched onto her delicate features. Valkyrie couldn't help but cry for her friend as she would be depressed also if her son was hurt. Wait...wasn't Jack with Elizabeth when she got hurt. What if something happened to Jack also? What weren't they telling her?

"Skul?" Valkyrie called from the back of the van.

Skulduggery tilted his head in the seat so she knew he was listening and replied, "Yes?"

Valkyrie couldn't help the tears that filled her eyes, and the moan that escaped her lips as she managed, "Jack's hurt, isn't he?"

Skulduggery spun around and looked behind his seat at his wife who was clutching her knees to her chest as wails started to emit from her mouth. Skulduggery turned back around and unbuckled his seat to climb in the back of the van with his beloved Valkyrie. He dragged Valkyrie into his lap and caressed her pale face as she curled up into his chest.

"Sssh, Val, everything will be just fine," he cooed, running his gloved hand through her dark hair.

Valkyrie wanted to believe him, but the mother part of her just wouldn't let her. She had the greatest fear of someone hurting her baby, no matter how old he was. She just wanted to hold Jack close right now, and show motherly love towards him. Tesseract was a killer for hire, an assassin, he would stop at no end until he killed her family. She and Skulduggery just couldn't lose their second chance at a new life, not now. She just couldn't let anything happen to anyone she loved, she wouldn't allow it. It was an evil thought, but she had to put Tesseract back in Hell where he belonged. She put the dark thoughts aside and looked up at Skulduggery. Nothing would stop him either if someone tried to harm his family. He was too protective to let it happen. Skulduggery noticed her staring up at him, and brought his skull down to kiss her. It was meant to be a chaste kiss, but Valkyrie gripped the sides of his head and held him there, kissing him for comfort. Skulduggery gave into her desire, and didn't move away until they got to the sanctuary.

Ghastly quickly parked the van out front, and the four were instantly in the corridors of the sanctuary, and for once, looking for Tipstaff. After a quick walk, they finally ran into the weasel of a man in the hospital wing.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Pleasant, Tanith, Elder Bespoke," he finished with a bow.

Ghastly cringed in disgust but ordered, "Tipstaff, take us to Jack and Elizabeth, _now_."

Tipstaff nodded in reply, and jogged down the hallway with Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Tanith, and Ghastly hot on his heels. They all came to a halt in front of room 29, and not even a second had passed before they were all pushing their way into the room. They surrounded Elizabeth and Jack who were both unconscious with their hands clasped tightly together. Valkyrie walked up with tears and a smile as she placed a small peck on Jack's cheekbone. Tanith was across from Valkyrie doing the same with Elizabeth, Ghastly dragging over chairs to the bedside. Skulduggery joined him and pulled over two chairs for him and Val. Valkyrie chastely kissed Skulduggery, and the couple sat beside their son.

Tesseract was back, and he needed to be stopped at all costs.

* * *

A/N: Well, that took awhile. Hope you all enjoyed it, because I enjoyed writing it. Well, Tesseract is back, so congrats to anyone who guessed from the last chapter.

WHOO VALDUGGERY!

WHOO SLIGHT GANITH!

WHOO WHATEVER YOU WANNA CALL ELIZABETH AND JACK!

WHOO ENTHUSIASM!

WHOO REVIEWS PLEASE!


	11. Chapter 11: Kidnapped

CHAPTER 11: Kidnapped

**A/N: Sorry I haven't written in a while…I have been with my friends…Well, here's your chapter!**

* * *

Valkyrie sat in the metal chair next to her son, in deep thought about her family's safety. Tesseract was a psychotic killer, and he wouldn't stop until the money he desired was lying in his huge palm. She had been flooded with nightmares about Tesseract killing her entire family, her included. She hadn't been able to sleep for days knowing what might lurk in her family's future.

Valkyrie was gazing at Jack and Elizabeth when she noticed Skulduggery had risen from his chair. She swiveled her head to the corner of the room and there she saw her beloved husband leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets. He was staring out the window, shoulders hunched, which meant he was thinking about something, and apparently it was really bugging him.

Valkyrie sighed and stood, knowing she had to say something to help sooth her husband. She walked over to him, and put a finger under his jaw to make him face her. She tilted her head at him, her face full of concern.

"Skul, what's wrong? You've barely talked," she asked, rubbing his arm.

"Why do you need to know?" he replied, moving his attention back to the window.

"Hmm, maybe because I'm your wife?" she shot back, putting her hands on her hips.

"Remind me why I married you," he muttered a shockingly serious tone in his voice.

Valkyrie would normally have begun to get irritated, but she knew he was in a bad mood, which didn't help the language that would emit from him.

"Because you love me. Now, better start telling me, or I'll force it out of you," she chuckled slightly jabbing a finger in his ribcage.

Skulduggery tilted his head at her, and began to speak.

"Val, I'm worried about our family. I mean, this was my second chance at a whole new life, and this scumbag is coming back from the dead to take it away from me. I can't lose the people I love again, Val."

Valkyrie's eyes were laced with tears as she enveloped Skulduggery in a hug, and pulled back slightly to bring her soft lips to his teeth. Skulduggery kissed back until a huge blast came from the opposite wall. The last thing Valkyrie remembered before slipping into unconsciousness was a strong man in a metal mask walk through the hole in the wall.

"Tesseract," Skulduggery growled, clenching his gloved fists.

Tesseract tilted his head, and Skulduggery could sense a devilish smile behind that mask. Tesseract walked with heavy footsteps as he made his way over to the passed out Valkyrie. In a second flat, Skulduggery had his revolver out, aimed straight for Tesseract's chest, which caused a laugh that echoed from behind the mask.

"Pleasant, Pleasant, Pleasant," he laughed, shaking his head and swiftly putting a knife to Valkyrie's neck.

Skulduggery instantly froze, his nonexistent heart pounding. He flickered his gaze over to the hospital beds and noticed Jack and Elizabeth were gone. Had they stirred while he and Val were talking?

"Hello, Pleasant, I'm talking to you," Tesseract teased waving his free hand.

Skulduggery snapped his skull in his direction and muttered, "What do you want, Tesseract?"

Tesseract looked down, probably smiling again, and face palmed. He looked back up at Skulduggery, a devilish glint in his dark eyes.

"Pleasant, I called you and told you I was coming after you, so I know you're stalling. Are you expecting your beloved son and that girl to save you? Well I'll tell you now they aren't," Tesseract explained, tightening his grip on the knife.

In a nanosecond, there was a flash of shadows, and there stood Solomon Wreath himself, dragging Elizabeth and Jack into view, both tied up.

"W-Wreath?" Skulduggery stammered out of pure shock.

Solomon gave a smirk as he dusted his hands off. His eyes were sparkling as he replied, "Surprised, Pleasant?"

Skulduggery gave another low growl as he saw Jack struggling in the magic bound restraints. Elizabeth was struggling also, blood running down her wrists as she looked up at Skulduggery with tearstained cheeks. Duct tape covered her mouth, but you could still hear the muffled cries that escaped the barrier.

"Let…Them…Go," Skulduggery growled, his gun turning to face Wreath.

Wreath smoothed back his greasy black hair, and gave a slight chuckle. Tesseract didn't laugh but dragged the knife a few inches across Valkyrie's arm. Skulduggery slowly dragged his gaze towards Tesseract, and saw the cut he had just made. Skulduggery roared in utter rage, and put the gun away so no more damage would be made to his unconscious wife.

"Now, now, Pleasant. No losing your temper," Tesseract teased, waving the knife in the air.

Skulduggery sensed movement in the corner, and turned to see Wreath sliding shadows through Jack's ribcage and pulling his bones, causing him to moan in pain.

"Wreath, the gun's away! Get away from my son, or I swear…" Skulduggery threatened, becoming stiff.

"You swear what, Pleasant?" Tesseract asked with a slight growl.

Skulduggery slowly turned to face Tesseract, and shook his head slowly.

"You really don't want me to do this, trust me," he warned, looking straight at Tesseract.

Tesseract gave a low laugh, and Wreath joined him, not caring what Skulduggery could possibly do in this situation. Skulduggery looked from psycho to psycho and looked down, letting his rage take control over him. After a flash of complete darkness in that room, there stood Lord Vile himself, ready to protect his family.

Tesseract and Wreath exchanged worried glances, and Wreath put his hands in the air. He started to walk slowly towards Vile, his body shaking with fright.

"Now, now Vile. Please try to understand, this is our job," Wreath whispered, turning to look at the now gone Tesseract.

He scanned the room nervously and saw no trace of Tesseract, meaning he had escaped…with Valkyrie. Wreath looked back at Vile who had his head tilted, shadows swirling around his clenched fists. Vile shifted his head to look at Jack and Elizabeth, who were both suffering from pure fear and shock.

Skulduggery was still there of course, but just to make sure that Vile didn't go onto a killing spree and hurt someone close to him.

"Vile…don't kill me, please!" Wreath begged, now on his knees and hands clasped in front of him.

Vile looked deep into the wide eyes of Wreath, and saw the coward and intentions towards his family. No sympathy would be shown; no mercy.

Vile outstretched his armored hand, shadows snapping out at Wreath. He then looked straight at Wreath as he pierced his heart with tendrils of shadows.

Wreath was dead.

Seeing the job had been done, Skulduggery struggled but managed to pull himself back, and appeared as his original self in a few seconds.

"J-Jack, are you a-alright?" he stammered, walking towards his son.

Jack slowly stood and backed away from his father in fear, as Skulduggery shook his skull sadly.

"Jack everything's alright, please come here," Skulduggery begged not walking any closer.

Jack looked down at the extended hand and looked back up slowly replying, "What the Hell was that, Dad?"

Skulduggery stared at Jack, wondering how to explain what was going on. He sighed and hunched his shoulders; slightly looking at Elizabeth was trying to stand.

"Jack, that was my only option to keep you from getting killed. Your mom has been kidnapped to my discontent, and if you back away from this family, I can guarantee that she will die in the next few days. Now please, come here and give your old man a hug," Skulduggery answered, extending his arms towards his son.

Jack walked forward without caution, knowing his dad was hurt and telling the truth. After the short embrace, Jack pulled back to see Elizabeth give him a faint smile. He walked to Elizabeth and helped her up, because Wreath had slammed a foot on her leg to stop her from fighting. Jack picked her up bridal style, and felt a lot of sympathy for his friend. She cuddled into his chest and sighed.

"Thanks, buddy," she whispered.

Jack smiled down at her, and wanted to tell her how much he admired her. Seeing that he was a skeleton, it would never work out.

* * *

**A/N: Yay, a got it done! My sisters have been annoying me the whole damned time! Hope you enjoyed it!**


	12. Chapter 12: Confused

Chapter 12: Confused

**A/N: Well, may I say I love this new computer, and I think I'm so happy that I will post two or three chapters today. As requested by one of my FABULOUS reviewers, THERE SHALL BE MORE JACK AND ELIZABETH (Jackabeth? -.-). (Valduggery too, of course).**

**NOW ENJOY!**

* * *

Jack stood directly next to Elizabeth as the doctor bandaged her wrists. He caught the glances she sent his way when she thought he wasn't looking, which made him smile. He never wanted to leave her side, because he knew Tesseract would come back, and he wouldn't be so gracious this time. Mother was gone, and there was nothing he could do, which irritated him very badly. He had no idea where Tesseract was hiding, nor what he was going to do with his mother.

Jack could hear his flustered father behind him as he paced around the room, muttering things under his breath.

"Jack?" Elizabeth called, extracting him from his thoughts.

"Yes, Elizabeth?" he answered, looking deep into her electric blue eyes.

Elizabeth leaned forward as the doctor ordered, and stared down at her blankets as she replied, "Have you ever loved someone?"

He sighed and rubbed the back of his skull as she blushed whilst waiting for an answer. He could say no, but then he'd be lying. Although, being Skullduggery's son, he knew exactly how to answer.

"Well, yes, but as you can see the form I'm in really doesn't help. Girls just don't find skeletons attractive," he finally answered not removing his eyes from his hat that lay in his lap.

"Hey!" Skulduggery suddenly interjected.

"Sorry, Dad. You get what I'm saying. Anyways, back to you Elizabeth," he replied, turning back to face Elizabeth, who was now fiddling with her thumbs.

"Well, Jack, some girls find skeletons attractive…I know a girl," she whispered, barely audible.

Jack looked at her wondering what she meant and responded, "Like who?"

Elizabeth's eyes suddenly widened, and a heavy blush rose to her cheeks. She then regained her cool and answered quickly, "Well, Valkyrie, obviously."

Jack nodded and shrugged his shoulders. Although, he couldn't deny that he had hoped to hear her say something about herself.

"Well, I guess you're right," he responded looking back up at her.

Elizabeth chewed her lip as her pupils increased by a few centimeters. She started to sweat a bit, and her eyes darted from the ceiling to Jack.

"You alright?" he asked, putting a skeletal hand on her shoulder.

Her gaze went to the hand, and she instantaneously blushed, trying to meet his gaze. Jack couldn't understand what was wrong with the woman; she was acting like a squirrel.

"Elizabeth, what is wrong?" he asked, becoming concerned.

"Nothing! Leave me alone, okay?" Elizabeth yelled, throwing herself off the bed and out the door.

Jack watched in pain as she stomped down the hallway, and felt a hand at his shoulder. He turned his skull to see his dad, who was shaking his head.

"It's alright, Jack. Women are confusing. She'll come around when she wants to speak about her feelings, trust me. Right now, let's go home and think of a plan to get mom back. Okay?" Skulduggery soothed, grabbing his keys.

Jack obliged to his father's suggestion, and walked out of the hospital and into his Dad's Bentley.

"Any idea what is wrong with Elizabeth, Dad?" Jack asked quietly, staring out the window at the blurred buildings.

"How should I know?" Skulduggery replied, slightly glancing at his depressed son.

"Well you were right there," Jack muttered, not taking his gaze from the window.

"Jack, I have a question for you," Skulduggery said, as he turned the steering wheel.

"What?" Jack slowly dragged out.

"Are you ashamed that you are a skeleton?" Skulduggery asked quietly, sounding slightly hurt.

Jack snapped his skull towards his father, shocked at the sudden choice in subject. He looked down, pondering how to respond to such a question, and returned his gaze to his quiet father.

"No, but there is cons to it, as you have probably noticed," he replied, still wondering how to avoid this subject.

"What do you mean?" Skulduggery pressed, taking his keys out of the ignition.

"Well…I kind of fancy someone, but I fear she wouldn't feel the same because I'm a skeleton. You must understand, you went through the same exact thing with Mom," Jack answered, fumbling with his thumbs.

Skulduggery sighed and said, "Well, yes your mother and I went through the same exact thing. This time, I may be able to help you, fore Elizabeth is shy, just like Ghastly. I know the signs and everything, so if you have any questions, just come to me. Now, go change, meanwhile I'll be thinking of a way to get your mother out of this damned situation."

Jack obliged to every order his father had directed at him, and strode to his room in the mansion, thinking about Elizabeth every single step of the way. Surely his father was right; maybe she needed time alone before she told him her true feelings.

Jack slipped out of his suit, and put on his pajamas, and slid into his bed after saying goodnight to the picture of his mom on his nightstand.

MEANWHILE WITH THE BESPOKES:

"Mom, leave me alone, please," Elizabeth moaned, flopping onto her bed.

Tanith walked over to her daughter trying to understand what was wrong. She rubbed her daughter's shoulders, and took a seat next to her on the bed.

"Liz, I am never going to leave you alone until you talk to me. Even ask your father," Tanith explained, gazing down at her daughter's tearstained cheeks.

"No she really won't!" Ghastly called from his office.

Elizabeth smashed her face into a pillow and said something, her voice muffled. Tanith looked down in confusion, and replied, "What was that, my love?"

Elizabeth slowly raised her head from the pillow and screeched, "I've fallen in love!"

Tanith gave a sweet smile, and whispered, "Aww, that's so sweet!"

Suddenly, there was a thud, and soon Ghastly Bespoke came crashing into the room, clearly angry.

"With whom?" he called, clenching his fists, his lips clamped shut.

Elizabeth gave another moan and rolled her eyes, replying, "None of your business! He thinks of me as an annoying wannabe anyways."

That only angered Ghastly more as he clenched his jaw, eye twitching. Someone had hurt his daughter, and whoever it was better be ready for a fight.

"Answer my question! Who is this boy?" Ghastly pressed, walking over to the bed whilst crossing his arms.

Elizabeth slowly looked up at him, and covered her face answering, "Jack Pleasant!"

Ghastly immediately froze, but slowly reached for his cell phone. Elizabeth suddenly hopped out of the bed, and stopped his hand.

"No, don't! Skulduggery will surely tell Jack, and I can't handle that kind of rejection!" she cried, giving her best puppy dog eyes.

Ghastly looked from his daughter to his phone, then at his wife who shook her head. He sighed and slid the phone back in his pocket and put his hands on Elizabeth's shoulders whilst whispering, "You are so like me."

Ghastly pulled Elizabeth into an embrace, and glanced at Tanith, who gave a sweet smile and blew a kiss.

"Just one thing," he said, wagging a finger in Elizabeth's face, "he better treat you right."

Elizabeth smiled and laughed finally, and flopped herself back on her bed. She looked at her parents and smiled whilst saying, "Ok, understood. Now goodnight you two, I am quite tired."

Ghastly linked Tanith's arm with his after saying goodnight to his daughter, and left the room.

BACK WITH VALKYRIE:

"Answer my God damn question!" Tesseract spat from behind his mask.

Valkyrie looked up from the ground and muttered, "Go to Hell."

Tesseract gave a low and angry growl as he slapped Valkyrie across the face with a _smack. _Valkyrie spun her head back around, her hair plastered to her sweaty face, and spat the blood from her mouth.

"Feel like telling me now?" Tesseract muttered, waving a knife in her face.

Valkyrie glared at Tesseract and replied, "Why in the Hell would I tell you where my family is? That would be idiotic of me."

Valkyrie tried to pull out of the restraints that tied her to the chair, and watched as Tesseract brought the knife to her arm. She howled in pain, and glanced at her now bleeding arm.

"Thanks," she muttered, not giving into Tesseract's desires.

Tesseract leaned his head closer to Valkyrie's face, and whispered, "Time to meet who wants you dead."

Valkyrie spun her head around as the only door to the muggy basement opened, and Fletcher Renn stepped through. Valkyrie looked at the death glare on his face in horror, and began to shake in her restraints whilst whispering, "Fletch? Why would you do this?"

Fletcher laughed like a maniac, his stiff hair not moving an inch. He shot his head back at her and muttered, "Surprised, Val?"

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**OOOOHHHH DANG! A CLIFFHANGER!**

**Sorry about that, but it makes it SO dramatic, and I like drama!**

**Anyways, tell me what you think! **


	13. Chapter 13: A Sneak Out

Chapter 13: The Sneak Out

A/N: Ok, I decided not to be evil, and post the next chapter real soon. Sorry I didn't post it yesterday as promised, but I had to go see my Grandma. She had her teeth taken out :\. Enjoy please, hope you enjoyed my new pairing: Jackabeth lol!

A shout out to **NightCatMau **just because.

* * *

"Fletcher, why would you do this?" Valkyrie whispered out of pure shock.

Fletcher smirked devilishly at her and cocked his head whilst replying, "Well, if I can't have you, I am going to make sure your whole family suffers. If you don't agree to stay with me forever, I shall kill you also. Tesseract here is a wise killer, and I just had to have him help me."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes, and began to pull out of the restraints once more. She kept glancing at the knife in Tesseract's grip, wondering if these were magic bonded. Neither Tesseract nor Fletcher had been wise enough to take her Necromancer ring, and this became her last resort. She summoned a few shadows from the corners of the basement, and thrust them at Fletcher, which he barely dodged, one taking a strip of his hair. _That _pissed him off.

"You little…" Fletcher roared running at Valkyrie, teleporting.

Valkyrie's eyes darted from corner to corner, seeing Tesseract cracking his fists. Then from behind her she heard a _whoosh _as a baseball bat smacked against the back of her head, and once again, she slipped into unconsciousness.

BACK WITH JACK:

Jack couldn't sleep that night as he tossed back and forth in his bed, his mind rampaging with nightmares. Although he had to admit…this nightmare seemed far too realistic for his liking.

His mom was shackled to a chair in a basement, obviously unconscious as Fletcher Renn the teleporter stood behind her, wiping the sweat off of his forehead.

A strip of his over-gelled hair was missing, and he seemed really agitated. Then from the corner, he saw the masked man from a few days ago walk up to his mom.

"You want to leave her here or do something else?" the man asked, crouching down to inspect the gash in the back of her head.

Fletcher looked up from the ground and muttered, "Leave her here. No one will find her here, trust me, Tesseract."

The man known as Tesseract only nodded as he left the room, leaving Fletcher with his mom much to Jack's disliking. Fletcher circled the chair, caressing Valkyrie's face. Fletcher whispered something about how beautiful she was, and also left the room.

Jack flung himself out of the bed, earning a huge _thud_ which meant his father would be here in:

3…

2…

1…

Skulduggery came stumbling into the doorway of Jack's bedroom, a ball of fire flickering in his hand.

"Jack what happened?" he asked, putting out the flame and helping his son up.

Jack cracked his back and slowly looked back up to his dad replying, "I had a nightmare…but it seemed too realistic! I think I'm having visions."

Skulduggery wasn't shocked but only nodded, taking a seat on Jack's bed. He looked at his son and asked, "What happened in this vision of yours?"

Jack sighed and sat next to his father whilst answering, "I saw mom being tortured…Fletcher Renn is behind this whole assassination attempt. She was unconscious, and Fletcher was touching her face. He was talking to Tesseract about what they were going to do with her…then I woke up."

Skulduggery's skull shot up, and he became agitated, muttering, "He touched my wife?"

Jack could sense the venom in his father's velvety voice and slowly responded, "Yes."

Skulduggery roared in anger and stood up whilst stomping out of the room. Jack felt terrible for his father; fore he had no idea where Mom was being kept. Obviously, his father was in no condition worthy enough to go on a wild goose chase for Mom. Looks like Jack was going to have to do this on his own.

Jack jogged to his room, listening to his father downstairs muttering things to himself in anger. He reached his room and rushed to his closet, pulling out a suitcase as quickly and quietly as possible. He chucked the suitcase on the bed with a _plop _as he began digging through his wardrobe for clothes. He hastily found a few suits and hats, and shoved them into the leather suitcase, zipping it up with great force. As he finished he heard footsteps near his doorframe, so Jack slid the suitcase under his bed and began to act like he was getting back to bed. He slightly looked at the doorway and noticed his skeletal father walking in slowly, his skull shining in the moonlight.

"Jack, are you alright? I heard shuffling while I was downstairs having a meltdown. Please tell me you aren't up to something," Skulduggery begged leaning against Jack's wardrobe.

Jack's hands shook nervously as he began to say, "Well, I tripped over…a pair of shoes when I was going to bed."

Jack was afraid Skulduggery didn't buy his lie as he cocked his head suspiciously at his son. As Jack waited for the outburst and demand of what he was up to, but none came. Instead, Skulduggery shifted a bit and nodded his head, swiftly leaving the room. Jack sighed and looked at his alarm clock: 1 A.M. Oh joy, Jack thought while settling into his blankets. Suddenly, Jack remembered someone who might come in handy on his runaway trip. Elizabeth.

Jack picked up his cell phone, careful not to make any noise as he flipped it open and made his way through the contacts. He finally found the number and called it, nervously looking at the door to make sure his father wasn't standing there.

"Hello?" Elizabeth called through the phone, sounding awfully tired.

"Hello, Elizabeth, it's Jack," he replied, shifting his feet.

Instantly, her voice became more cheerful as she greeted, "Ah, Jack! What's up?"

Jack gave a soft chuckle and whispered, "Feel like sneaking out with me?"

Elizabeth gasped, and whispered back with shock, "_Sneak out_?"

Jack sighed and muttered, "Yeah, I'm going to look for my mom so my dad doesn't have to. He's been stressed out and flustered ever since she was kidnapped. I need to help him, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me."

Elizabeth's heart softened as she replied, "Aww, Jack, that's so sweet. Of course I will come with you. Pick me up in like an hour. By then my parents will be sleeping and maybe if your dad is calm enough, he will be in deep meditation. See you soon."

Elizabeth hung up, leaving Jack in pure happiness. Elizabeth Bespoke was going away with him…he wondered if she had thought this through enough though. Sure, he was in love with her and enjoyed her company, but the thought of her getting injured plagued his mind. He could only pick her up and hope for the best. He checked his watch as time ticked by, and finally he rose out of bed, praying that the wood floor wouldn't creak.

He walked over to his door and looked down the hallway, seeing his father's door was shut, giving him a better chance of escape. He spun back around and grabbed his suitcase, hastily dressing as he rushed quietly down the hallway and to the safety of downstairs. He crept slowly towards the door of the mansion, constantly looking up at the staircase that led to the hallway of his father's room, hoping he wouldn't decide to wander around.

Jack then saw his chance as he ran to the front door and rushed outside, closing it softly behind him. He took one last look at the mansion before donning his disguise and walking to his Bentley. He unlocked the car and shoved his suitcase in the backseat, hoping Elizabeth was prepared and hadn't been caught. He put the key in the ignition and started it, turning out of the driveway on his way to the Bespokes.

Jack reached his destination in great time, and quickly parked on the opposite side of the road, trying not to raise suspicion.

He looked over at the door to the house and shop, waiting for Elizabeth to come out with her bags. After five minutes, he heard a click from the building and soon saw Elizabeth jogging over to the Bentley, a huge grin plastered to her face. She swung the door open and put her bags with his, her black hair covering her face.

"Hello again!" she said, hugging Jack.

Jack tilted his head at her and gave a gentle, "Hello, Elizabeth."

* * *

**UH OH…**

**Looks like we've got some bad kids up in here…**

**Thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14: Ricky Brave

Chapter 14: Ricky Brave

A/N: Dang, I'm losing readers very quickly…I don't know if I should keep the story going…what do the few readers out there think?

* * *

Jack and Elizabeth were soon at an airport, Elizabeth exhausted from the drive and her talking. Jack paid for tickets to Australia, the clerk giving him the evil eye for his disguise. Jack shrugged at the woman, hoping she wouldn't ask for him to take it off. If she did, boy was he in trouble. He could see the suspicion in the woman's green eyes, but she made no effort to stop or ask him anything about it. Elizabeth rolled her eyes at the woman as the pair walked away, annoyed at how people treated Jack. He was just like them, except for the whole skeleton part, but that didn't mean he should be treated so rudely.

Elizabeth started to struggle with her bags, her muscles sore and tired which instantly gained Jack's attention. Jack spun around and bent down grabbing Elizabeth's bags from her, their faces inches apart. Elizabeth looked from eye socket to socket, biting her lip nervously. Jack coughed and stood up awkwardly saying, "Well, um, we better catch that flight."

Elizabeth nodded in agreement, rubbing her arms whilst walking behind him. She felt as if someone was watching them from the crowd swarming around them, but surely no one would be following them. Elizabeth forgot all about her concerns and stayed hot on Jack's heels, in a rush to get on the plane and away.

Little did they know they were being watched by their worst nightmare.

Tesseract slithered in between people in the crowd of the airport, his hood low over his face to avoid attention. He constantly looked up slightly, making sure he didn't lose his two targets. They were on their way to save Valkyrie Cain, no doubt.

He watched as they nodded at one of the guides that led them to the plane, and followed them to their plane.

They reached the outside of the airport where they would soon board the plane, Tesseract making sure he didn't come off as a stalker. He really had to be careful out here, fore if his mask shone in that light one bit, they would recognize him and everything would go haywire. Although, he didn't know why he was worrying so much, he did this type of thing for a living.

The pair boarded the plane, looking for the correct seat, whilst Tesseract sat in the isle directly across from them. He cautiously looked over, studying the dark haired woman that sat next to Cain and Pleasant's son, wondering who she was and what she was doing here.

He pulled his hood a little over his eye slits in the mask, shoving his gloved hands into his pocket as the curious Pleasant next to him looked over slowly. Tesseract could feel the curiosity going through the skeleton as it gazed at his hooded face, trying to peer under it and get a good look. Tesseract smirked behind his mask as the Pleasant gave up, leaning back in his seat, staring out the window at the cluster of clouds that gathered outside.

Tesseract began to hear the somewhat quiet conversation flowing in between the skeleton and the woman, trying to make out every word that came out of their mouths.

"My dad is going to go haywire once he finds out I'm gone…same with your parents. You didn't have to come you know," Jack whispered, squeezing Elizabeth's hand when he noticed her sad look.

"I wanted to come, Jack. I kind of had to tell you something," she confessed, a bright blush starting to rise over her cheeks.

Jack cocked his head at her in confusion, wondering what she was rambling on about. Whatever it was, she was not very happy to be talking about it with him. She constantly looked up at him as she took one deep breath and entwined her fingers with his.

"Jack, I know we've only known each other for a few weeks now…but I feel a strong connection going on between us," she explained, her eyes darting from eye socket to socket.

Jack didn't return her steady gaze as he stared forward into space muttering, "Ah."

Elizabeth nervously rubbed the back of her head, seeing that he wanted her to continue and slowly replied, "Jack…I don't know if I should be telling you this, but I honestly _adore _you. I feel lonely whenever you leave, and my mom makes me talk about it, which really doesn't help my situation. I love you, Jack, and I only pray that you feel the same, otherwise I must sound like a love dazed idiot right about now."

Jack didn't respond, but slowly lowered his skull to her face, and started to close the distance. Tesseract watched in disgust as the two began to suck faces and finally decided to reveal his identity. He slowly stood up and pulled his hood down, instantly making the couple part and look up at him in fear and shock. Elizabeth studied Tesseract's mask, and gazed at the devilish glint he had going in his eyes. She felt Jack stiffen next to her, a few sparks flying off of his gloved fingers. She wanted to prove her skills when it came to elemental magic, and she took this as the perfect opportunity.

Elizabeth slowly stood, gaining attention from the frightened passengers around them and from Tesseract himself. She clicked her fingers and summoned a flame, which she grew into a fireball and threw it at Tesseract's jacket, causing it to catch fire. Elizabeth knew Tesseract was now struggling to put out the fire, and grasped Jack's hand, making their way to the door labeled, "EMERGENCY EXIT."

Jack thrust open the door, Elizabeth clutching onto his waist, and jumped, using the air to cushion their quick descent.

"You know, we could have just revealed magic to the mortals!" Jack yelled as the wind whipped around the two as they flew through the air.

Elizabeth managed to get the hair out of her face as she replied loudly, "Eh, I'm pretty sure they had a sneaking suspicion about it! Anyways, everyone will think they are delusion and crazy!"

Jack chuckled over the wind, and grasped Elizabeth's waist as he screamed, "I love you!"

Elizabeth smiled at him, the wind smacking her cheeks as she answered, "I love you too!"

Jack began to kiss Elizabeth, his hands running through her air as the ground got closer and closer. Fireworks exploded in both of their minds, which made Jack continue the kiss as he put a pillow of air below them as they slowly touched the ground. Jack was waiting for Elizabeth to part as they clung to each other, standing in what appeared to be a clearing in some savannah or something. Elizabeth didn't bother to break the kiss; her hands were grasping the sides of his now exposed skull, her lips smashed into his teeth. Finally, Elizabeth ran out of breath and parted, smiling at Jack as she tipped the front of his hat.

Jack looked in amazement at her as she dusted off her black jeans, and walked off into the savannah. They started to walk for near half an hour, before Jack asked curiously, "Any idea where we are at?"

Elizabeth spun around to face him, her pale blue eyes full of curiosity. She put her hands on her hips and surveyed the surroundings once more before answering, "My love, I do think we are in Africa. South Africa to be exact."

Jack's jaw nearly came off as he looked around and face palmed. He moaned in disgust and finally replied, "Ugh, we were _not _supposed to land in _South Africa._"

Elizabeth smiled at his pouty attitude and kissed his cheekbone. She grabbed his hand and began leading him around the savannah, the long pale grass tickling her legs. Jack manipulated the air to swing long branches aside so they could make their way through the thick cluster of trees as the sky darkened. They continued into the night, walking through the savannah when they came upon a campfire. A tent was to the east of the fire, and there was a fresh lump of me roasting on the spit on the fire. Jack looked at Elizabeth in suspicion, nervously inspecting the fresh camp site.

"Well whoever it is left just a few minutes ago…" Jack explained crouching down to inspect the meat, his skull glistening in the fire.

Elizabeth nodded in reply as a man popped up in front of her, holding a pointy branch and screaming a battle call.

"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?" he screeched his eyes wide in bewilderment.

Elizabeth gulped and slowly put her finger on the stick and lowered it away from her eyes. She studied the man who was clad in dirty clothing, his face covered in some kind of camouflage paint.

"We just landed here…" Elizabeth replied, her eyes wide in fear.

The man nodded, his gaze falling to Elizabeth's chest before Jack spoke up, "Who are you?"

The man coughed and spun around to look at the skeleton, no shock at his form apparent. He just rolled his dark eyes and muttered, "Well, I am Ricky Brave, a teleporter."

That really blew Jack's mind, fore he suspected Fletcher Renn to be the last teleporter known to the magical society. He looked up at the man as his gaze kept flickering to Elizabeth, much to her discomfort.

"Please stop checking my girlfriend out," Jack asked annoyed, trying his best to glare at the dirty man.

Ricky squinted at Jack through the fire and muttered, "There's no way she's your girlfriend."

For a thirty year old looking man, he certainly had a lot of childish comments in his mind. Elizabeth could read the annoyance upon Jack's skeletal features, and decided to walk over to the log he sat on and take a seat next to him. She watched the dancing flames and looked up at the dark starry sky before leaning into Jack. Jack returned the embrace, and wrapped his long bony arm around her shoulders.

Ricky looked in disgust and then coughed whilst Jack suddenly asked, "Could you help us out, Ricky?"

Ricky shot his head at the skeleton and replied, "With what, buckaroo?"

Jack looked at Elizabeth who nodded in response, and asked, "Could you teleport us to Canberra, Australia?"

Ricky chuckled in reply and stared at the skeleton as he chewed on a small twig. He slumped his shoulders and took a seat on the opposite log and answered, "Yeah, I guess so."

Jack tilted his head at the man before him and whispered, "Thank you so much, Ricky. You don't know how grateful I am that you are willing to help."

Ricky nodded at the thank you and began to ask, "Why do you need to go to Canberra?"

Jack only sighed in response as his gaze fell upon Elizabeth who was now in a deep slumber against his side. He looked back up at Ricky and replied, "Well, a fellow teleporter decided to take my mom hostage over a past relationship, and I need to save her."

Ricky spat out the twig he was chewing and clenched his fists. He was flooded with sympathy for the skeleton as he responded, "Hey, I would be _honored _to help you beat up this man. No one should be taking advantage of your family like that. Speaking of family, why isn't your father helping? Who is your father?"

Jack decided he could share the personal information with Ricky and answered, "Well, I went on this trip so he didn't have to. He doesn't know. My dad's Skulduggery Pleasant, you know the famous Skeleton Detective?"

Ricky's eyes widened in excitement as he squealed like a fan girl shouting, "Your dad is _the _Skulduggery Pleasant? I freaking love that guy! I can guarantee I'm his number one fan! I am in with this plan! It's a pleasure to meet you…?"

"Jack, call me Jack."

* * *

A/N: I decided to make my OC Ricky a fan of Skulduggery! I thought it would be LOADS of fun! Until next time!


	15. Chapter 15: After Capture

Chapter 15: Valduggery After Capture

A/N: I've come to realize that I am losing readers due to the fact I keep wandering off what this story is SUPPOSED to be focused on. Oops lol! Well you want VALDUGGERY? Here's the last part of my mini story! ENJOY THE FREAKING VALDUGGERY!

* * *

Skulduggery awoke from meditation at about 9 A.M. that morning, still worried about Valkyrie who may be dead as of now. It may have been his fault this time, fore he took to long _wondering _what he was going to do instead of _doing _something. Wait a second, where was Jack?

Usually Jack would be downstairs and you could hear him watching TV. Maybe he wasn't himself lately because of his mom's disappearance. Skulduggery couldn't take that chance with Tesseract roaming around the world, and instantly got up slowly walking to Jack's room. He pulled his revolver out of his pocket and then peered into the room and saw nothing. Where in the blue blazes was Jack?

Skulduggery's detective instincts began to take over as he examined the pale blue room. The curtains were slightly open letting the morning sunshine leak into the room, showing that Jack's bed was messily made. Where ever he planned to go, boy was he in a rush. Skulduggery walked over to the bed and soon saw a lined piece of paper with Jack's handwriting scribbled across it. He began to read:

_Dear Dad,_

_Well obviously you have come barging into my room looking for me right about now. Sadly, by the time you get to read this, I will be in Australia. What am I doing in Australia you ask? Well, let's just say I'm doing you a favor and rescuing mom. I know that the passed few days have been bad for you due to her disappearance, and I knew I had to take action. Don't worry, I am probably alright at this very moment, and I know you are still going to come after me. That wouldn't be a bad thing exactly, because a little help with this Tesseract man maybe helpful. Now, GO GET YOUR SUIT ON AND INTO THE BENTLEY YOU GO! See you in Australia!_

_Sincerely, _

_Jack (P.S. Tell the Bespokes Elizabeth is quite well along my side.)_

Skulduggery crumpled up the paper in anger and rushed into his room. You could tell Jack was just like him…trying to be nice yet the hero of the whole story. Sadly, every hero has a downfall, and Tesseract may be his son's. He wasn't saying Jack was bad with magic, in fact he and Valkyrie practiced with Jack quite often. Even though he was skilled when it came to magic, Tesseract was skilled when it came to killing. He would not let Tesseract kill his son. Ever.

Skulduggery was soon dressed and on his way out to the Bentley, worrying about Jack and Elizabeth. Should he tell the Bespokes right about now? No, he didn't have time. Ehh, the angered Ghastly would soon be calling Skulduggery's mobile in confusion, threatening to break his bones. That was just what fathers did, he didn't mind.

After half an hour on the road, Skulduggery was veering into Finbar's driveway. He needed to know _exactly _where the pair was, because knowing the two, something bad had already happened to them and their plane didn't make the correct route.

Skulduggery raised his gloved hand to the door and knocked, hearing a crash before the tattooed and pierced Finbar answered the door.

"Hello Skulman! What ya need dude?" Finbar asked, leaning against the damaged doorframe.

Skulduggery put a hand to his skull and sighed, wondering if he should say 'I need your help'. If he did say that, Finbar would make this meeting Hell for him, and Skulduggery may not get the information he needed.

"I need you to show me where two people are…could you do that if I gave you there names?" Skulduggery cautiously asked, waiting for the enthusiasm about to emit from the thin man's mouth.

"Of course Skully! Now, come on in and tell me their names!" Finbar replied, shoving Skulduggery into the trash encrusted house.

Finbar took Skulduggery upstairs and sat down on the floor of a bedroom, asking for the names of the two people Skulduggery needed to see. Skulduggery sighed before replying lazily, "Jack Pleasant and Elizabeth Bespoke."

After 'Pleasant' came out of Skulduggery's mouth, a firecracker went off in Finbar's mind as he exclaimed, "Your son is in trouble? Wow, never thought this day would come!"

If Skulduggery had eyes, he would've rolled them right about now. After five minutes of trying to calm Finbar down, the man finally obliged and started to have visions. His eyes glowed white whilst in his mind he saw Jack and Elizabeth with some savage looking man. He studied the surroundings for a minute before words popped up in his mind, and soon, his eyes turned back to normal, and his curiosity was booming.

"They aren't in Australia, dude. They are to the very West of South Africa. They are also with some man who apparently is a teleporter. Ricky Brave to be exact. Now go on, I have tattoos to apply on customers."

Skulduggery nodded as he walked downstairs, flinching as he saw a fat man getting a donut tattooed to his stomach. Skulduggery strode quickly passed, and sighed in relief as he reached the outside of the house.

Then his anger kicked in. SOUTH AFRICA? REALLY? WHY MUST IT BE SOUTH AFRICA!

Skulduggery kicked a tree and punched a smiling garden gnome, his anger taking complete control. He couldn't believe that someone had corrupted his son's flight path! Someone had followed them…someone who wanted to kill them. Tesseract.

Skulduggery's rage and want of protection flooded through his bones as Vile began to take over. Before too long, Skulduggery was replaced by Lord Vile clad in his black armor, shadows swirling around his fists in rage.

Vile looked down before shadow walking, wondering how close he could get to South Africa.

BACK WITH JACK AND ELIZABETH:

Jack and Elizabeth were now resting against a small tree by the campsite as Ricky roasted some more meat over the fire for Elizabeth and himself. Jack knew his father had read the not by now, and his skull was full of thoughts and reactions that would be going through his father's mind. It was getting dark out again, but Ricky said he needed more rest before teleporting so far. Jack was doubtful about that, and just believed Ricky wanted more company out here. Although he had sympathy for the man, he didn't trust him that much around Elizabeth. Ricky was always staring at Elizabeth making her feel uncomfortable, which only raised Jack's want to protect her by killing the man. He knew that was not the right thing though, for his father had talked about rage like that and taught him to control it.

He knew his father would be out here in South Africa any minute now, and he only waited for the skeleton to come wandering into the campsite. Jack held the exhausted Elizabeth closer, earning a delicate smile from her. She looked up at him, her pale blue eyes shining from the campfire. God she was beautiful, and now that they were together, he could show her he thought that. Elizabeth kissed his cheekbone, and looked at Ricky much to Jack's confusion before she straddled Jack's hips and let her lips crash into his teeth. Elizabeth closed her eyes and wrapped her hands around his skull as Jack gripped her waist. Before they could take it any farther, Elizabeth felt Jack stiffen and whispered, "What's wrong?"

Jack didn't reply but pointed behind her, causing Elizabeth to slowly turn her head in curiosity. She was terrified at the sight before her. Lord Vile stood a few feet away, threatening Ricky with shadows that poked at him teasingly. She felt Jack slowly let her off and hopped up, running over to Vile. He was scared to do this, because when Wreath attempted to, he ended up dead.

"Vile− Dad let Ricky go! He's alright! He's here to _help_!" Jack screamed, holding his gloved hands up in surrender, looking over at the terrified Ricky.

Vile tilted his head at Jack, and slowly twitched before disappearing in a mass of shadows, leaving Skulduggery in his place. Skulduggery grasped the sides of his skull, and growled, before looking up at Jack.

"Jack my boy!" he exclaimed, enveloping his son in a loose embrace and patting his back.

"Hello, dad," Jack replied tilting his hat in greeting.

Skulduggery's head turned as Elizabeth walked over and wrapped her arms around Jack in comfort. Skulduggery cocked his head in confusion as the girl nearly passed out against his son's ribs, and Jack pointed to her and whispered, "Elizabeth, my girlfriend."

Skulduggery was suddenly proud of his son. So he did tell her on this trip, as he thought. Skulduggery whispered back, "That's my boy."

After Jack disappeared into a tent with Elizabeth, Skulduggery was left alone with Ricky. Skulduggery decided to start a conversation with the man so he could tell if he was really good news.

"So you are Ricky Brave, a teleporter I heard," Skulduggery said, examining the dirty man from behind the fire.

Ricky's eyes became wide and he squeaked like a girl before replying, "Yes, I am! Let's talk about you shall we? You are Skulduggery Pleasant! I'm such a _huge _fan of yours!"

Skulduggery adjusted his tie thinking, _I like this guy._ Skulduggery coughed and looked back up at Ricky answering, "Why thank you, Ricky. That means a lot. Mind me asking what exactly you are doing out here?

Ricky watched as Skulduggery gestured to the huge field and replied, "Well, I like to travel in the wilderness being a teleporter and all. I heard your wife was kidnapped, so I really want to help! Jack said I may be a huge help because of my teleporting. I am teleporting all of you to Canberra, Australia tomorrow, much to my excitement. I wish you the best of luck over there, Mr. Pleasant."

Skulduggery nodded in agreement and fixed his collar before saying, "Well, Ricky, you better be getting some rest. I will stay out here and keep watch."

Ricky gave a stiff nod and spun around to walk to his tent before replying, "Keep watch for what?"

Skulduggery gave a sad laugh and answered, "You really don't want to know."

Ricky shrugged his shoulders and walked past Jack and Elizabeth's tent, flinching in disgust. Skulduggery chuckled at that and watched as Ricky tripped over a rock and basically flew into his tent.

He couldn't express how happy he was now that he had a huge chance to get his beloved Valkyrie back. He missed her so much; her wit, her smart comments, her everything. He just wanted his wife back, was that a big problem? Skulduggery watched the grounds for another hour as he thought of Valkyrie, and soon fell into deep meditation.

Skulduggery awoke that morning to the smell of meat cooking, and examined himself as he saw that he was basically wrapped around the log. Wow, this must be a sight. He awkwardly stood up and dusted his pinstripe suit off and watched as Jack and Elizabeth were sniggering to themselves.

It was a habit of Skulduggery's. He was so used to wrapping his arms tightly around his wife as he meditated, and at home when she disappeared he used a pillow. Sadly, he had to embarrass himself by doing it here against a log…

"Tree hugger much, Dad?" Jack laughed, Elizabeth clutching her side from all the laughter.

Skulduggery looked down in embarrassment and tipped his hat low over his eyes as Ricky poked the cooking meat with a stick. Ricky looked over at Elizabeth and asked, "Hungry?"

Elizabeth declined politely, and continued to snuggle up against Jack, earning a jealous glance from Skulduggery. Of only he had such luck with women that age. That just meant he was a great parent, that's all. Of course he was! He was Skulduggery Pleasant. Well that and he had a family with kids before…but he liked the first reason better.

After Ricky finished up his 'breakfast', they started sharing plans about how they were going to get Val back. Ricky coughed up a small bone before saying, "Well, here we go. Everyone grab each other's hands, off to Canberra we go."

After that sickening pop, they stood in Canberra, Australia on an abandoned dock. Jack immediately rushed off with Elizabeth who thought she was going to throw up, leaving Skulduggery alone with Ricky to share their goodbyes.

"Well thanks for the help, Ricky," Skulduggery said with a tip of his hat.

Ricky gave a quick nod and replied, "Anything for you, Mr. Pleasant. Call me if you need assistance getting back to Ireland."

He offered a piece of paper with a scribble of a phone number on it, and Skulduggery nodded before Ricky disappeared. He was going to miss that man. The one person he could talk about himself with without a punch to the shoulder. God he was thinking of Valkyrie again. He couldn't do that though, because Tesseract and Fletcher knew that was his weakness. They were going to pull Nefarian's trick most likely, and attempt to torture her right in front of him.

Skulduggery glanced around for Jack and Elizabeth, and watched as a crowd soon flowed onto the pier, Skulduggery donning his disguise all the while. He glanced in between the crowd earning a few glares, and finally to the far right of the swarm of people, he caught a glimpse of metal. Great, Tesseract was here too.

Skulduggery immediately pushed through the people, earning hateful comments which he ignored, and watched in pure horror as Tesseract thrust Elizabeth and Jack towards Fletcher. Jack didn't give up so easily and punched Fletcher in the face, whilst Elizabeth spun around and kneed Tesseract where no man should be kneed.

Skulduggery couldn't help but feel proud as the two escaped and ran over to him, both with worried looks written across their features.

"They are here!" Elizabeth screeched, nervously looking around them.

Skulduggery nodded and pulled them behind a hotel, reaching for his revolver. He looked behind him before whispering, "We have to be _very _careful. Fletcher is a teleporter and could be coming for us any minute."

Before anyone else could talk, a voice floated from behind them saying, "When have you been careful, Pleasant?"

Skulduggery spun around with a growl as Fletcher teleported them all to a damp basement. It was poorly lit, and Skulduggery turned around to see Val tied to a chair, a layer of sweat covering her scratched face. She looked up at the noise and saw Skulduggery, practically jumping in her chair.

"Skul!" she screamed, bursting into tears.

Skulduggery went to step towards her and comfort her before Fletcher muttered, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Pleasant."

Fletcher gestured to the corner of the room, and Tesseract came bounding out of the shadows carrying a blood stained knife.

"We meet again, Pleasant," Tesseract muttered, gripping the handle of the knife even tighter.

Skulduggery could feel the evil pouring out of those eye slits as Tesseract's mask shone in the light.

"Let her go," Skulduggery growled, pulling out his revolver.

There was a blast of air as Skulduggery's gun was whipped out of his hands. Valkyrie and Skulduggery looked in shock at who conjured the wave of air, and saw Elizabeth as her hands were outstretched, a tear running down her face.

"I'm so sorry," she mouthed to Skulduggery, slamming another wave of air into Skulduggery, who didn't fight back from pure shock.

Elizabeth held him against the wall with the air, earning a smirk from Fletcher. As she held him in place, she heard a strangled, "E-Elizabeth?"

She didn't turn around but only kept her gaze on Skulduggery as tears sprung from her eyes whilst she answered, "Yes, Jack?"

She heard Jack drop to the floor in despair as he whispered, "How could you?"

Elizabeth then spun around to look at him, not releasing her grip on the air forcing Skulduggery against the wall.

"Jack please try to understand! I didn't want them to kill my family!" she moaned, trying not to cry.

Jack only tilted his head and whispered, "I loved you, Elizabeth."

"Enough with this love crap already! Time for some good ol' torturing! Elizabeth, would you be a dear and hold Jack back?" Fletcher asked, gesturing to the depressed skeleton on the ground.

More tears sprung from Elizabeth's eyes as she raised her hand and shoved air into Jack's ribcage, holding him against the wall.

Valkyrie was also crying, and she threw her head back in despair not wanting to see the people she loved the most in pain. She let out a few strangled sobs as Fletcher nodded to Tesseract. Tesseract walked forward, placing the knife to Valkyrie's throat…

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" came a battle cry, and soon Ricky Brave popped in the room with an AK47 shooting Tesseract in the chest a lot of times.

"Bloody Hell!" Fletcher screamed before the deranged man turned around and shot bullets into his head.

Both Tesseract and Fletcher dropped to the ground dead as Ricky blew the smoke from the tip of his gun. Elizabeth released her grasp on the air and dropped to the ground, Skulduggery rushing over to Valkyrie. As Skulduggery undid the restraints, Valkyrie suddenly spoke up in bewilderment, "Skul, um, who is that?"

Skulduggery followed her gaze to Ricky and replied, "Ah. That's Ricky Brave, also known as my biggest fan."

Valkyrie nodded without a response and rolled her eyes at his egotistical comment. As soon as the restraints were off of her, she was up instantly kissing Skulduggery. She had missed him so much, and she didn't care who was watching, she was just glad to be in his arms once again. Skulduggery pulled back just enough to say, "I love you."

Valkyrie smiled at him as tears sprung from her eyes and replied, "I love you too."

There was a cough as Ricky Brave commented, "Well this sure is touching, but shouldn't I get you two couples back to Ireland?"

Valkyrie walked over to Ricky and kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "Thank you."

Ricky was dazed for a moment before saying, "You're welcome. Now come on you four, better get you home."

* * *

WHOOO THE END OF THAT MINI STORY!

HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED IT!

I guess I will continue my story, but back to random one shots!


	16. Chapter 16: A Surprise Visit

Chapter 16: A Surprise Visit

A/N: Ok, You should have seen the look on my sister's face when I started to write surprise. She thought I was going to write something else…Shoot me now ._.

Anyways first one-shot in a while…MENTAL SCARRING AS OF RIGHT NOW.

* * *

Valkyrie was downstairs with her parents for once in a long while, brightening her spirits. Today she had fought a man who was trying to expose magic to the population of Ireland, and let's just say she was exhausted.

Valkyrie could smell the pot roast mum had been cooking as she sat at the dinner table talking to her Dad. She was twenty three now, and she had a steady relationship going on with Skulduggery right now. If only she could introduce him to her folks…You know what, scratch that, it was a terrible idea. Valkyrie, well Stephanie at the moment, was being interrogated at the moment by her father, who had walked in on her having a conversation with Skulduggery…Questions had been practically spewing out of his mouth since them.

"How old is this man?" Desmond Edgley asked, tracing the bottom of his glass with his finger.

Valkyrie sighed and rolled her eyes replying, "He's uh, twenty eight."

She was very relieved that she gave a reasonable answer without any hesitation; fore her dad would have known she was lying.

"Hmm, and how long have you known him?" he continued, now playing with his silverware.

Valkyrie was fed up with the questions but began to answer when she heard a crash from upstairs. Desmond looked over to Valkyrie with fear written across his face and asked, "What was that?"

Valkyrie blushed and glanced up the steps, knowing Skulduggery was up there being an idiot. Why did he have to come over tonight? Sure, she wouldn't mind his company _later, _but right now, she was trying to keep her secrets hidden from her family. A walking, talking, flame throwing skeleton really wouldn't help her current situation to be honest.

As Valkyrie's mother walked in the room, she asked, "Steph, what was that horrid noise from upstairs?"

Valkyrie quickly stood up and made an excuse to go upstairs, "I will be right back. It think I left the window open and the wind knocked something over…Serve dinner, I'll be right back down."

Her father simply nodded whilst her mother shrugged, and as Valkyrie walked away, she made a quiet sigh of relief. She would try making Skulduggery's death quiet enough so no one would come up here. Boy was he in for it.

She reached her bedroom doorframe and cautiously looked in, and she saw Skulduggery sprawled on the floor with a lampshade on top of his head. Valkyrie gave a quiet chuckle earning Skulduggery to talk his voice echoing from the lampshade.

"A little help would be nice you know," he said, his voice volume reaching new heights.

Valkyrie rushed over and yanked off the beige lampshade, and threatened Skulduggery by saying, "Skul, my love, if you keep making noises like that, I will kill you. Okay? Good."

Skulduggery grumbled something quietly under his breath, earning a glare from Valkyrie as she spun around to kick some of her underwear under her bed. Skulduggery saw what she was doing and simply replied, "Really? You act like I haven't seen them before."

Valkyrie cringed at his comment and froze when she heard her mum calling her from downstairs.

"Steph! You alright up there?"

Valkyrie hesitated with her eyes wide before calling back, "Um, yeah! Everything's alright! Just spilled a glass of water! Don't even bother grabbing a towel, I have one!"

Valkyrie sighed in relief once again when she heard her parents carry on a conversation downstairs. She walked up to Skulduggery and smacked the side of his head, earning a yelp from him, and then she grabbed his tie to begin kissing him.

Skulduggery was in shock for a moment because usually a smack to the head led to all kinds of crazy and rude threats…Not that he didn't enjoy it, but it just wasn't expected. Skulduggery was soon kissing back, wrapping his long arms around her waist and pulling her onto his lap. He ran his gloved hands down her back as she pulled back tilting his hat down.

"I love you," Valkyrie whispered, smiling sweetly.

Skulduggery sighed in adoration and replied, "Love you too."

Valkyrie slowly stood to walk out the door, Skulduggery standing up also. She turned back to face him and said with a wink, "I'll be up here later."

Valkyrie walked back down stairs and into the dining room, finally realizing her hair was a mess. Her chocolate eyes widened as she attempted to flatten it before her parents saw, but alas, she was too late.

"Steph, what happened to your hair and your jacket?" her mother asked, cutting a slice of roast for herself.

Valkyrie glanced down at her jacket and noticed it was unzipped and looked like someone had been rummaging through it…which someone had. Valkyrie blushed slightly and zipped her jacket up answering, "Well, I fell and, uh, it got hot so I unzipped my jacket."

Desmond raised an eyebrow but didn't ask, and continued to eat his mashed potatoes in silence. Her mother began to talk about how well her Daffodils were blooming when music started playing upstairs. Melissa and Desmond both looked at Valkyrie who gave a fake smile and said she had to go to the bathroom.

She jogged up the steps cracking her fists, ready to knock some sense into that man. God, she told him not to make one noise, and what does he do? Turn on her radio. She stomped into her room and put her hands on her hips, earning a glance from Skulduggery who gave a nervous laugh. He watched in utter horror as Valkyrie marched up to him and shoved him onto the bed whilst turning the radio off. She got off of him slowly whispering, "Not a noise, or you aren't sleeping in my bed tonight. Understood?"

Skulduggery nodded roughly, and began to pout as she left the room. Why must she blackmail him every time?

As Valkyrie took a seat, her mother looked nervously at her and asked sweetly, "Steph sweetie, is everything alright?"

Valkyrie smiled back at her mother and replied slowly, "Don't worry. Everything is _dapper._"

Her mother bought her soothing words and continued to eat her dinner, Valkyrie politely denying it saying, "I had a huge lunch. You guys eat your dinner ok?"

Her father shrugged knowing that meant more food for him, and her mother sighed at his reaction. The dinner went smoothly, no other noises from upstairs whatsoever. Valkyrie began to wonder if Skul had gotten too bored and just left. That would have dampened her happy mood. After having a short conversation with her parents, she was finally allowed to go up to bed, and sighed when she saw Skulduggery meditating on her side of the bed.

She walked over and shoved him off the bed completely, which made him stir and mutter, "_That_ was rude."

Valkyrie gave another quiet laugh and walked up to her dresser, pulling off her jacket. Skulduggery wasn't watching this time; fore he thought it made her feel uncomfortable. Instead he just lay back against the pillows, taking small peeks when he felt it necessary. After taking her shirt off, she glanced back at him and caught him peeking, so she threw her shirt at him.

"You are such a creep," she whispered playfully, adjusting her black bra and underwear. She knew better than to sleep just in this, so she opened a drawer and pulled out a white T-shirt and threw it on. She pulled the shirt as low as it could go, and padded over to the bed and lay down next to Skulduggery.

"Hello, Detective," she greeted poking his shoulder.

Skulduggery rolled over and gave her a kiss too tired to respond. Valkyrie gave a quiet giggle and snuggled up close to him. The two were soon asleep, both wrapped around each other for comfort.

Valkyrie just _hoped _her parents wouldn't check in on her tonight.

* * *

A/N: Should I have given any warning for this one?

Ehh, whatever. YOU CAN BE MATURE FOR THIS ONE TIME.

Hehe 'one' time. ;)


	17. Chapter 17: Ganith Comes to LIFE

Chapter 17: Ganith Comes to Life  
A/N: The beginning of this chapter was inspired by an old fic I read a while back, and can no longer find.  
*Sigh* BTW The usage of 'man whore for Erskine is the inside joke between NightCatMau and I.  
WELL ENJOY!

* * *

Valkyrie and Skulduggery were walking down the sanctuary halls together, their hands entwined. Ever since they became a couple, everyone seemed to respect them more, and Skulduggery felt more comfortable walking around the sanctuary without that damned façade. They were on their way to one of the meeting rooms where they would meet Ghastly, Tanith, and Erskine.  
As they strode down the bright halls, a small blond woman with a ton of make up walked up, her eyes wide with adoration. She ran up to Skulduggery and looked up, saying, "My God it's Skulduggery Pleasant!"  
The woman had a thick and annoying British accent, and she clung onto Skulduggery's waist like glue. This angered Valkyrie, and she glared at the woman as Skulduggery cringed in disgust. Trying to be polite, Skulduggery gently unlatched the woman's hands from behind him and took a step back. The woman looked up at Skulduggery and bit her hot pink lip whilst checking him out. Valkyrie soon decided enough was enough and let her mind take over. Valkyrie bent down to meet the woman's eye level and wagged a finger in her face.  
"If you do that again I swear I will go Darquesse on your ass. Now step back and carry on with your pitiful life," she threatened, waving for the woman to shoo.  
The woman obliged, but not before slapping Valkyrie. Valkyrie growled in anger and rushed at the woman who was running down the hallway, but Skulduggery grabbed a hold of her shirt and pulled her back to him, bringing her into a kiss.  
He parted and brought his teeth by her ear whispering, "Trust me, it isn't worth it. I love you and only you."  
Valkyrie hugged him and gave a sweet smile, and they continued walking down the hall, Valkyrie's sleek black hair bouncing. They finally reached a room labeled 'MEETING ROOM'.  
Valkyrie went to open the door, but Skulduggery stopped her and put a finger to his teeth. Valkyrie immediately began to listen and heard Ghastly and Tanith talking. Valkyrie couldn't express how much she wanted those to hook up. Skulduggery had the guts to tell her, but Ghastly was just a shy guy.  
"So, uh, Tanith?"  
That was Ghastly.  
"Yes, Elder Bespoke?"  
"Please don't call me that, Tanith."  
"Ok, sorry, what did you need?"  
"I was wondering if you…"  
Ugh, come on Ghastly! You can do it! Valkyrie cheered in her mind.  
"If I?"  
"Yes, if you would consider, maybe, going on a date with me?"  
"Aw Ghastly! That's so sweet! Of course I will!"  
Valkyrie turned to Skulduggery and smiled sweetly, mouthing, "Aww."  
Skulduggery chuckled then straightened up as he walked through the doorway, Valkyrie grasping his hand as she followed him. Tanith smiled at the two and ran up to hug Valkyrie whispering in her ear, "He asked me on a date, can you believe it?"  
Valkyrie only laughed innocently and proceeded to follow Skulduggery as he took a seat on the couch next to Erskine and Ghastly.  
"If you will excuse us," Tanith said, leading Valkyrie to the next room.  
The men only nodded and began to stir up their own conversation.  
"God, you two make me feel like a loner," Erskine whined, leaning back on the couch and shooting glares.  
"Well, sorry Erskine, but there's a reason you don't get dates," Skulduggery began, leaning forward and looking at Erskine.  
Erskine raised an eyebrow and replied, "And why is that?"  
You could sense the smile in his voice as Skulduggery answered, "Quite frankly, you are a man whore."  
Erskine only glared at Skulduggery more with a slight growl and turned his focus to the wall whilst mumbling something. Skulduggery leaned towards Erskine and whispered, "What was that?"  
Erskine only put his head in his hand and muttered, "Nothing."  
"Come on tell us," Ghastly begged, a smirk forming across his scarred lips.  
Erskine looked at them devilishly and said slowly, "At least I'm good looking."  
Skulduggery tried to look offended as he punched Erskine in the face. Erskine immediately passed out, and Skulduggery looked over at Ghastly who just shrugged and continued drinking his tea.  
"So, Ghastly, you asked Tanith out, hmm?" Skulduggery asked, glancing over at his now stiffened friend.  
Ghastly coughed before replying quietly, "Yes, I believe I did."  
Skulduggery nodded awkwardly and whispered, "Ah."  
Valkyrie walked out of the other room and into the stunning silence of the room the men were supposed to be chatting in. She looked over to the couch in confusion, and saw Ghastly, but no Skulduggery. No wonder it was so quiet. As she began to snigger to herself, someone tackled her from behind and she now looked up at Skulduggery who was straddling her hips.  
"Hello, beautiful, mind telling me what you were laughing to yourself about?" he said, his features showing he was smirking.  
She grasped the sides of his skull and whispered, "You would be offended, so I shall not tell you."  
Skulduggery only gave a low growl before snatching a kiss from her and helping her up. Valkyrie laughed as he scooped her up bridal style and walked to the couch to set her down. Ghastly looked over in confusion at the pair and shrugged, this sight wasn't normal to most people, but it was to him. These two always seemed to forget their surroundings before starting a little make out session. Ghastly decided to ignore them as they did what they always do, and watched in hysterics as Erskine slowly raised a hand from the ground with his middle finger up. Then he fell back into unconsciousness. God Erskine was his friend and all, but boy was he an idiot.  
Tanith soon came bounding out of the other room, her tousled blond hair swinging from side to side, but stopped and cringed at Skul and Val before she joined Erskine in passing out. Ghastly watched as she dropped to the floor and shrugged.  
Another normal day.

* * *

A/N: I love making Ghastly act like all of that was normal. I could just imagine it in my head! Some Valduggery, Ganith, and Erskine being his loner man whore self. Well I've updated a lot today, so I'm done for the night.  
UNTIL TOMORROW MY FRIENDS.


	18. Chapter 18: Trapped

Chapter 18: Trapped

A/N: Well, I cannot take full credit for this chapter; part of it was suggested to me by the amazing **DarkAntidote**. Kudos to her!

* * *

Valkyrie awoke at nine o' clock in the morning to Skulduggery snuggling up against her in the bed. Valkyrie gave a long yawn and rolled over to smile at him, flinching at the bright sunlight that was now peeking in between the curtains. Skulduggery gave a short laugh before giving her a chaste kiss and stood up to stretch his long bony arms. Valkyrie sat up slowly, her back cracking in relief as she did so.

"Good morning, sunshine," she whispered, another yawn creeping up in her voice.

Valkyrie finished her yawn and frowned when she saw the demolished bun atop her head. She hoped Skul didn't see it, but he probably did as he watched her fidgeting with it.

"Val, you are beautiful. I don't care what your hair looks like," he explained, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

Valkyrie leaned back into the embrace and smiled, then stood up to stretch herself. She gave him a peck on the cheekbone before his mobile began to ring.

"Who is it?" Valkyrie asked, pulling on some sweatpants.

Skulduggery glanced down at the ringing mobile and replied, "Ugh, Erskine."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes as he snapped the mobile open and began to speak. She could sense Skul's mood change as the conversation kept going, and by the look across his skeletal features, they were given a case. They quickly exchanged their goodbyes, and after a few seconds, he hung up and sighed. Valkyrie padded her way over to him and hugged him, closing her eyes as he held her up.

"I'm guessing we were given a case since you are having a little pout session," Valkyrie guessed, parting from him.

Skulduggery tried to look offended as he whispered, "In case I haven't told you, I do not pout."

Valkyrie gave a playful slap to his cheekbone and teased back, "Yeah you do."

She turned around and began to get dressed, constantly looking back to see if Skul was watching. She caught him a few times and winked before rolling her eyes. Skulduggery only chuckled in response as he began to put on a new shirt, exposing his ribcage. She watched as he cringed at himself in the mirror, and felt hurt.

"Skul, if I catch you looking at yourself like that again, I will have to beat some sense into you," she warned giving him an evil eye through her wardrobe mirror.

Skulduggery only sighed and began to button up his shirt saying, "Val, how can you love me? I mean look at me, I'm a skeleton for God's sake."

Valkyrie shook her head and face palmed whilst replying, "Hmm I think I noticed. I love you Skul, don't you forget that. I think you are amazing, just the way you are. Boy, I'm a lucky girl to have the only badass Skeleton Detective as my boyfriend, huh?"

She could sense Skulduggery smile as she pulled on her jacket. As she finished, she spun around to see Skulduggery behind her, fully dressed, tilting his head at her. She raised an eyebrow before he scooped her up and began kissing her. She kissed back the best she could and soon pulled back, giving him a sweet smile. Skulduggery rested his skull against her forehead, his hat shading her eyes.

"I love you," he whispered, still holding her.

"I love you too," she whispered back, looking from eye socket to socket.

Skulduggery gently set her down and followed her out the doorway of their bedroom and down the staircase of the mansion. Of course a case had come up right when he and Val had just woken up. That's how the sanctuary did things.

Skulduggery watched as Val flinched against the sunlight as they stepped outside, and ran a hand through her black hair. God she was gorgeous.

"Ready for a case, Miss Cain?" he asked, putting the keys into the ignition.

Valkyrie cheered half-heartedly and replied, "Oh joy."

Skulduggery chuckled and patted her thigh asking, "My, my, where has the enthusiasm of that twelve year old you gone?"

Valkyrie only looked at him and muttered, "I have enthusiasm when I'm awake. If you haven't noticed, I just woke up."

Skulduggery laughed at her dead tone as they pulled into the new sanctuary. It was another creepy and abandoned place, everything dusty and dirty to be sure it did not come of as appealing to the mortals.

Valkyrie undid her seatbelt and stepped out, Skulduggery a few paces ahead of her. She jogged up to his side and entwined their hands as they reached the inside of the sanctuary, and watched as Tipstaff walked up to them whining about something.

"You two are late! As always!" he squealed, clenching his fists.

Skulduggery smiled and kissed Valkyrie before replying, "Yeah, we were kind of busy."

Valkyrie blushed and giggled earning a glare from Tipstaff who became enraged. He looked from detective to detective and yelled, "No PDA in the sanctuary!"

Valkyrie and Skulduggery only laughed before following him to the elevator. Valkyrie smiled at the annoyed Tipstaff and pushed the button waiting for the elevator. She looked over at Tipstaff and crouched down to his height.

"Aw, you aren't coming in the elevator with us, Tipstaff?" she asked innocently, pretending to pout.

He only pulled a disgusted face and whined, "Definitely not! You two are nothing but trouble! For all we know, you could get in there and the elevator would stop running. So no thank you! Now get in that elevator and go see the Grand Mage. He's waiting!"

Valkyrie smiled and patted Tipstaff's shoulder before standing up straight and walking into the awaiting elevator with Skulduggery behind her. She gave one last wave to Tipstaff as the elevator doors shut with a _ding _and looked up at Skulduggery.

"God, you love torturing him, huh?" he asked leaning against the back of the elevator, his arms folded.

Valkyrie only beamed at him before answering, "Yes I do. It's not my fault I'm good at it!"

Skulduggery only smiled at her and purred in her ear, "I can think of a few other things you are good at too."

Valkyrie only gasped and began blushing before screeching, "Skul!"

Skulduggery laughed at her reaction and entwined their hands, but stopped as the elevator shook and squealed as it came to a slow stop. Valkyrie looked over at him in terror, and squeezed her grip on his hand. Skulduggery looked up at the top of the elevator wondering what happened, and heard Valkyrie freaking out.

"What's going on Skul?" she asked nervously, glued to the spot.

Skulduggery laughed and pulled her to him replying, "Val, it's alright, it just stopped that's all. They will get us out of here soon enough."

Valkyrie instantly calmed at his words and whined, "Ugh we are going to be in here forever!"

Skulduggery took this as the perfect opportunity and whispered in Valkyrie's ear, "That's not necessarily a bad thing."

Valkyrie only gasped once again, and began to blush violently before she replied, "Eh, whatever."

Skulduggery chuckled before pulling Valkyrie even closer and brought his teeth to her lips, Valkyrie eagerly pulling on his skull for more. Skulduggery laughed again against her lips, and Valkyrie wrapped her legs around his waist, her only support was Skulduggery's iron grip. Skulduggery leaned back against the wall for his own support and gently chewed on Valkyrie's lip earning her to pull her head back for a breath. She smiled at him and winked, wondering how long they might be stuck in here. Skulduggery interrupted her thoughts as he began kissing her once again, as passionately as before. Suddenly, Valkyrie put her hands to his chest and pulled back, earning a confused glance from Skulduggery.

"Ok, we have to stop before I end up naked," she laughed, watching as Skulduggery tilted his head to smile.

Skulduggery gently put her down, and Valkyrie attempted to fix her hair which was now all over the place. As the two began fixing themselves, the elevator door opened finally, and they were met by a disgusted and confused Erskine. Valkyrie saw Tipstaff march up with his nose high in the air.

"I said no PDA in the sanctuary! Fire them Erskine, fire them!" he screeched, pointing at the embarrassed detectives.

Erskine rolled his eyes and examined the detectives with his eyebrows raised. PDA? They were kissing? He looked at Skulduggery whose hat was on wrong and his tie was loosened, then at Valkyrie whose hair was ruffled and he jacket was slightly unzipped.

"Do I even _want _to know?" Erskine asked, face palming.

Valkyrie gave a nervous laugh and came up with a classic excuse, "We were, um, practicing CPR."

Skulduggery bent over laughing beside her and Valkyrie just shrugged at Erskine with a nervous smile. Erskine groaned and waved his hand for them to follow. Tipstaff gave one last glare at the couple before stomping back to his desk. Skulduggery looked over at Valkyrie who was still blushing in embarrassment.

"CPR? Really?" Skulduggery asked amusement still in his velvety voice.  
Valkyrie looked up at him and shrugged replying, "Hey, would you rather me say: 'Yeah sorry about that, me and my mentor we're just sucking faces to keep ourselves occupied.'"

Skulduggery chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. Erskine glanced back as they were walking, and cringed before turning back around and mumbling something.

"What was that Erskine?" Skulduggery asked, still holding Val to his side.

Erskine slumped his shoulders before answering, "How can she be so interested in you?"

Skulduggery sighed in sadness and looked away as Valkyrie glared at Erskine and punched him in the face. Erskine fell to the floor moaning in pain whilst Valkyrie stood above him dusting off her hands and saying, "What can I say? I'm lucky to have the one and only badass Skeleton Detective as my boyfriend."

Erskine only groaned in response from the floor and told them to leave. Valkyrie and Skulduggery laughed at their friend and gladly walked out of the sanctuary hand in hand. Skulduggery glanced over at Valkyrie as they reached the Bentley and whispered, "Thank you."

Valkyrie smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling and said, "You are welcome. Although, there are _other_ ways to thank me."

Valkyrie winked at Skulduggery as he laughed and hopped into the car with her. Before he began driving, he reached over and kissed her, much to her amusement. To return his affections, Valkyrie leaned over and whispered, "We'll continue when we get home."

* * *

OH SNAP. A LITTLE DIRTY THERE…

I'm really starting to question my sanity as of now, but it is just really fun writing the funny type of fics. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did…J


	19. Chapter 19: Creeper

Chapter 19: Creeper

A/N: Hmm I thought it would be fun to write a weirder type of chapter. Still Valduggery of course!

* * *

Skulduggery was up early that morning preparing breakfast the best he could to impress Valkyrie. They had been dating for a few months now, but it seemed they had just started dating yesterday. Normal couples wouldn't be as love crazy towards each other in the later months, but Skulduggery and Val just clicked and they were love crazy everyday. Today Skulduggery had special things for him and Val to do, and he hoped she would enjoy the whole day as much as he would. Skulduggery was dragged out of his thoughts as he smelled smoke and looked down at the pan in front of him. He had just burnt the pancake he was making for Val, and he was just waiting for her to come down the stairs of the mansion freaking out.

He managed to get the black pancake in the trashcan and the smoke detector to shut off when he heard the sound of Val's footsteps. He tried to be unsuspicious by running to the kitchen table and sitting down whilst fiddling his thumbs.

Valkyrie entered the kitchen with her hair in knots from last night and she was breathing heavily from her run down. She looked over to Skul and raised an eyebrow at him as she examined the kitchen. She glanced over at the ash covered stove and turned her attention back to Skulduggery, shaking her head.

"What did you do?" she asked folding her arms and leaning against the door frame.

Skulduggery tilted his skull at her and replied, "How do you know I did anything? Maybe I'm innocent, and there is no need for false accusations."

Valkyrie only shot him a glare and began to point out the evidence.

"You are fiddling your thumbs which means you are either nervous or hiding something, and the stove wasn't black when I went to sleep last night."

Skulduggery only sighed and kept his gaze at the table saying, "Bloody Hell I taught you too well."

Valkyrie smirked at him and took a seat wagging a finger in his face whilst replying, "Language, Mr. Pleasant!"

Skulduggery cocked his skull at her and chuckled answering, "Why, Ms. Cain, you weren't too fond of that rule last night."

Valkyrie blushed heavily and looked down, when the evidence clicked into place. She looked up at Skulduggery with a huge grin, much to his confusion.

"Aw, Skul! You were trying to make me breakfast, weren't you?" she asked sweetly, running over to him and plopping into his lap.

Skulduggery enveloped her in a hug and stroked her hair saying, "Well I attempted to, yes. Sadly the stove won, once again."

Valkyrie laughed at his response and brought her lips to his teeth. He placed a hand around her waist as she pulled back and saw how beautiful of a day it was. She wrapped her arms around his neck earning a smile from Skulduggery.

"Hey, what do you want to do today?" she asked, putting her head on his shoulder.

Skulduggery thought for a minute before replying, "Well, I thought we could take a walk this morning."

Valkyrie smiled at him and nodded at his idea answering, "That's okay with me, just let me get dressed ok?"

Skulduggery nodded in approval as she pecked his cheekbone and rushed upstairs. God he loved her, and he couldn't wait to spend the whole day at his side.

Valkyrie was soon up to their bedroom when she ran into Echo Gordon. He smiled at her when he saw how happy she was and just had to ask.

"What are you so ecstatic about, Valkyrie?" he asked tilting his head in confusion.

Valkyrie blushed and smiled as she replied, "Well, I'm happy because Skul planned the whole day out for us, and he even tried to make me breakfast."

Echo Gordon smiled at her and asked, "Did he succeed?"

Valkyrie gave a laugh before quietly answering, "No."

Echo Gordon tilted his head at her and whispered, "It's the thought that counts. Remember that."

Valkyrie nodded as her Uncle walked away then stepped into her bedroom. She rushed over to her wardrobe and grabbed out her protective clothing and boots. As she slid them on, she wondered if she should wear makeup. She didn't wear it often, but she wanted to look her best for Skul today. She managed to get all of the knots out of her hair quite painfully, and then moved onto the makeup.

She didn't want to go heavy with the makeup like China did, so she decided to dab on a bit of foundation, brush on some mascara and put some lip gloss on. Not much, but it still looked great. After she was done and pleased with herself, she skipped downstairs happily. Skulduggery was sitting on the couch waiting, and when he caught sight of her, his jaw dropped.

"You look stunning, Val."

Valkyrie blushed and replied, "Thank you, Skul. Ready to go?"

Skulduggery entwined his hand with hers and answered with compassion, "Of course."

After Skulduggery donned his disguise, they stepped out onto the sidewalk to begin their long stroll.

They had been walking for awhile now, and they soon reached the inside of the city. Most people were in the cars that were zooming down the streets, but there were the occasional walkers who were enjoying the walk in shops and the gang members shooting dirty looks. One woman walked by with her Chihuahua and began to also join in on the dirty looks. The way people looked at Skul was really starting to irritate Val, and Skulduggery could just sense it.

"What's wrong, Val?" he asked worriedly, looking over at her.

Valkyrie glanced up at him and sighed, spilling her thoughts.

"I'm sick of the way these people are looking at you…It makes me want to punch them."

Skulduggery chuckled and tightened his grip on her hand saying, "Well, Val, I do happen to be wearing a scarf and huge sunglasses…and I'm pretty sure I look oddly thin being a skeleton and all."

Valkyrie growled at him and snapped her head at him replying, "Skul, I don't care, I just which people could keep their hateful mouths shut, and their glares inside. That's all."

Just as she finished her sentence, a man wearing baggy jeans, a dirty white shirt, and a baseball cap backwards walked up in front of them. He looked at Valkyrie with a dirty look in his eyes, and then at Skulduggery who he cringed at. The man then turned back to Valkyrie and shoved his hand in his pockets.

"Hey sexy, what are you doing with a creep like this?" he asked, glancing at Skulduggery.

A low growl emitted from Skulduggery who was now clenching his fists. Skulduggery looked down at the gang member and muttered, "If you talk to my girlfriend like that again, I will kick your ass, understood?"

Skulduggery was now up in the man's face, but the man obviously thought it was humorous and began laughing.

"Wow, bro, a little overdramatic much? I just came over here to ask this fine woman a question," he explained, winking at Valkyrie.

Valkyrie was bemused at his gesture and just shuffled closer to Skulduggery. She really wanted to punch the man in the face right now, but she knew she needed a good reason to. She could feel Skulduggery tense up next to her as the man got closer to Valkyrie's ear. She glared at him and felt his nasty breath brush against her ear.

He finally got close enough to her ear and whispered, "Hey pretty thing, you mind showing me a good time?"

Valkyrie's eyes widened in disgust as the man pulled back and purred. She got straight up in his face and got close to his ear. Ha, this man thought she was going to give him what he wanted. Fool.

"What about I give you a good ass kicking and we call it a good time, hmm?"

The man glared at Valkyrie, but still didn't quit checking her out. Valkyrie felt very uncomfortable as the man's gaze glided across her breasts.

"That is enough, you idiot!" Skulduggery growled, his sunglasses sliding down his face. The man caught a glimpse of his skull and his eyes widened in shock. He gulped in fear then worriedly glanced at Valkyrie, who was trying to get Skul's attention. She leaned over to Skulduggery and watched the man.

"Um, Skul, your sunglasses are coming off…" she whispered, Skulduggery suddenly becoming rigid.

The man sat waiting for an explanation, and Skulduggery finally shrugged as he took off his disguise. The man's face went pale as he examined Skulduggery's now revealed skull.

"Y-You're a skeleton, b-bro," he whispered quietly, beginning to back up.

Skulduggery was glad they were in an empty part of town as he snapped his fingers letting a flame grown in his gloved hand. The man took one look at the flame and then passed out in sudden shock.

Valkyrie laughed at the man's facial expression as he lay on the ground passed out. She could hear faint laughter coming from Skul as he slid his disguise back on. After he was settled, they entwined hands once again and walked back the way they came.

"I love you," Valkyrie whispered, laughter still lingering in her voice.

"I love you too," Skulduggery replied as they started for home.

* * *

YOU LIKE?

That's good.

I HATE CREEPS!


	20. Chapter 20: A Text Message

Chapter 20: A Text Message

A/N: Ok, this chapter fluttered into my mind whilst eating my cereal. Of course the plot included Fletcher being a jerk. He just is meant to be that way.

ENJOY

_Tanith_

Valkyrie (you'll understand in a sec)

* * *

Valkyrie was sitting on the leather couch downstairs in the mansion, barely watching the TV show that was on and texting Tanith. They were talking about Ghastly and Tanith's first date, but Tanith kept pushing the idea of her and Skulduggery getting together.

_I think you like him. T._

You have no evidence, Tanith. V

_Would you like me to list some things? T_

Eh, what the heck, go ahead. V

_Ok, you and Skulduggery both look at each other when you think either of you are looking. You always blush when Skulduggery says something, and Skulduggery gets flustered and nervous around you. Good enough for evidence, Ms. Cain? T._

Dammit, you are right. V.

_I always am Val. T_

Pfft, whatever! Well Fletcher just popped up, I'm gonna go knock some sense into him. V.

_Ok, ttyl sis. T_

Valkyrie left her mobile on the couch as she stomped over to the smirking Fletcher. He then went pale as she glared at him, and he teleported to the couch.

"Hmm, hello Val. What are you up to?" he asked grabbing the remote and leaning back.

"I was watching TV, what are you doing here?" she asked jabbing a finger into his chest.

Fletcher smirked at her once again and replied, "Eh, I wanted to see you. I'm bored."

Valkyrie only rolled her eyes at him and took a seat on the other side of the couch.

"Aw, Val, why don't you want to sit next to me?" he asked, trying to look offended.

Valkyrie only folded her arms and glared, turning her attention to the television. Fletcher pushed it further and started to scoot over next to her, knowing he was walking on eggshells here. Valkyrie snapped her head at him and shot an icy look, then scooted farther away from him. The game went on until she was out of couch to move to. Fletcher gave her a devilish smile and went to sit by her when he sat on her mobile.

"Ooh, what have you been doing here, Val?" he questioned, waving her mobile in the air.

Valkyrie's eyes widened and she clawed the air for it, hoping he wouldn't scroll through the text messages. He glanced over at her and snapped it open, the text messages popping up right away.

"Who were you texting, Val?" he laughed, his eyes widening at the content of the conversation.

"Ghastly asked Tanith out?" he asked in shock, looking over to Valkyrie who was fidgeting with her hands.

"Um, yes. May I have my phone back?" she replied, holding out a hand for her phone.

Fletcher only laughed at her and continued to scroll through the messages until he saw it. His face went pale, and his eyes were glued to the mobile screen as he read it. He then slowly looked over at her and gulped, wondering if he should ask.

"Fletcher, give me my mobile," she ordered, staring into his eyes.

"Y-You like S-Skul?" he answered, not taking his eyes off of her.

Valkyrie face palmed and muttered something, earning a devilish smile from Fletcher who suddenly stood. Valkyrie immediately looked up at him, and shook her head furiously.

"Don't you dare!" she screeched clenching her fists.

Fletcher only chuckled and pointed at the mobile, "Too late. I'll be right back."

As Valkyrie rushed at him, he suddenly disappeared with that annoying _pop. _Valkyrie was rooted to the spot processing what had just happened, and when she realized he was actually going to tell Skul, she threw herself backwards into the couch.

"No…" she whispered, tears springing into her eyes.

Fletcher popped up on Skulduggery's doorstep, immediately knocking on the front door. He soon saw Skulduggery glance at him through the window and waved the mobile in the air and mouthed _I have to tell you something. _Skulduggery nodded and unlocked his door to let the crazy-haired boy into his house.

"What, Fletcher?" Skulduggery asked, leaning against the wall folding his arms.

Fletcher showed him the mobile and said quietly, "You need to read this."

Skulduggery studied the mobile before taking it, but didn't read it. He looked at Fletcher confused, and decided to ask.

"Why do you want me to read this?"

Fletcher shrugged and replied, "Val is hiding something from you."

This only added to Skulduggery's confusion, but he obliged and began reading the text messages. It was mostly about Tanith and Ghastly, but one part intrigued him:

_"Ok, you and Skulduggery both look at each other when you think either of you are looking. You always blush when Skulduggery says something, and Skulduggery gets flustered and nervous around you. Good enough for evidence, Ms. Cain? T."_

Skulduggery looked up at Fletcher stunned when he realized that all of it was true. He had feelings for Valkyrie, and she had feelings for him in return. Now what? If it were Val, she would tell him her feelings after a minute, but he wasn't Val. He was shy about feelings like that, but he knew right away he had to tell her.

"Fletcher why do you have Val's mobile?" he asked, glancing up at Fletcher.

Fletcher snapped out of his thoughts and replied, "Eh, I was at Val's house."

That angered Skulduggery as he replied, "Why were you at her house exactly?"

Fletcher blushed before answering, "Well, I was bored…I was trying to scoot next to her when I landed on her mobile."

"You were what?" Skulduggery growled, clenching his jaw.

"Um, nothing! Would you like me to teleport you to Val's?" Fletcher asked, trying to avoid the subject.

Skulduggery punched Fletcher in the face and replied, "Sure."

Fletcher whined and grasped his bloody nose before grabbing Skulduggery's shoulder and teleporting them.

They reached the mansion, Fletcher immediately running to the nearest bathroom to clean up, leaving Skulduggery and Valkyrie alone. Valkyrie looked up at Skul sadly, waiting for the lecture. There wasn't one.

"Val?" he whispered, walking over to take a seat by her.

Valkyrie glanced at him from behind the pillow and murmured, "What?"

Skulduggery didn't answer but pulled the pillow away from her. Valkyrie watched in disbelief as Skulduggery leaned over and began kissing her, cupping her face in his bony hands. A single tear traced her cheek as she wrapped her arms around his neck, Skulduggery grasping her waist in response.

Fletcher walked back into the room with a Hello Kitty band-aid on his nose and gasped at the scene in front of him. He watched as Skulduggery and Val started to make out, but wasn't paying attention to anything in front of him. He crashed into the wall and muttered "Ouch" before falling backwards to the floor.

Skulduggery and Valkyrie parted and looked at the passed out Fletcher and began laughing. They walked over hand in hand and examined him. His over gelled hair was flattened, and he had a bruise on his head with a Hello Kitty band aid across his nose.

Valkyrie and Skulduggery began laughing once again, and kissed before picking up Fletcher.

* * *

MWAHAHA FLETCHER GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HIM :D

(Although he _did _get Val and Skul together…Eh, I still don't like him)

REVIEW PLEASE


	21. Chapter 21: Erskine's Best Christmas

Chapter 21: Erskine's Best Christmas

A/N: Ok, this chapter was inspired by the lovely conversation between me and NightCatMau, who pushed me to put it into a one shot. Well, here I am…

Thanks for the FANTABULOUS reviews!

Ahora, lea con cuidado ... hay una mención del condón ... o.o

* * *

Skulduggery watched in absolute horror as Valkyrie wobbled on the ladder above him, attempting to hang a wreath up above the mantel piece. She gripped onto the wall to steady herself and finally got the wreath on the nail, but it kept tipping much to her discontent. She sighed as it went crooked once again, and glanced down at Skulduggery who was chuckling to himself.

"Hmm, you think this is funny, huh Skul?" she called irritably, glaring down at him.

Skulduggery stopped laughing and turned his skull to look at her and replied, "Well, yes actually. If you were me, you would find the scene quite amusing."

Valkyrie growled and kicked her slipper off and at his face. Out of instinct Skulduggery burned it, earning a sigh from Valkyrie who slipped into silence. Skulduggery face palmed and looked back up at his angry girlfriend, who was waiting for a decent apology.

"I'm sorry Val…I did it out of instinct…" he apologized, sympathy apparent in his velvety voice.

Valkyrie's glare softened and she gave a sad smile to Skulduggery. It was just a slipper, no need for her to get all irritated about it. She sighed and began to climb down the ladder to hug him when the wreath once again went crooked. She growled as she reached the final few steps of the ladder, on hopped off. She immediately ran to Skulduggery and gave him a tight hug, kissing his cheekbone before pulling back.

"Apology accepted. I am sorry too," she whispered, grasping his hand.

"What for?"

"Getting overdramatic about a slipper," she replied, rolling her eyes at her actions.

Skulduggery tilted his head to smile, and looked up at the crooked wreath Val had been struggling with. He decided to help her, and gave her a quick hug before climbing up the ladder.

"What are you doing Skul?" she asked, folding her arms and cocking her head.

Skulduggery didn't answer but got the wreath to steady before clambering back down. Valkyrie gave him a sweet smile and went into the other room with him hot on her heels. She walked in their bedroom in the mansion and picked up a cardboard box labeled: "Gift Wrap."

Valkyrie tucked a dark piece of hair behind her ear and thanked Skulduggery for offering to carry the box out into the living room for her. He took it over to the glass table and set it down before taking a seat on the sofa.

"Why do you need wrapping paper?" he asked, watching as Valkyrie peeled back the tape from the box.

Valkyrie looked over to him and replied, "To wrap presents, duh."

Skulduggery smiled and watched as she lay out four rolls of wrapping paper, each one with a design scattered across it. She smiled up at him and gestured to the paper much to his confusion.

"Which one should I use?" she asked, looking down at the rolls.

Skulduggery glanced at the wrapping paper before answering, "Why are you asking me?"

Valkyrie smirked at him and replied, "Well, you always go on and on about your amazing taste in things like this. So, go on ahead."

Skulduggery chuckled before picking up the pale blue roll with snowflakes scattered across it. Valkyrie nodded in agreement and stood up with it. She began to walk into their bedroom with it, Skulduggery close behind her. Before he could step foot into the room, Valkyrie turned and put a hand against his ribcage and shook her head,

"No, no, Detective. I'm going to wrap your present, and before you ask, I'm not letting you see what it is. Now, what about you go get a present for Erskine for us? I've already got every one else's. Thanks love, I love you," she explained, shutting the door before he could speak.

Skulduggery sighed and hunched his shoulders before grabbing his disguise out of the closet and grabbing his car keys. He thought about what to get Erskine when the perfect gift popped into his mind. This was going to be quite the show.

Valkyrie began grabbing the presents from her bag and started to wrap them in the snowflake wrapping paper. As she creased the paper for Tanith's present, she pondered what Skulduggery was retrieving for Erskine. She couldn't imagine anything as she peeled the excess tape from her pajama pants and moved on to Fletcher's gift.

After five minutes of wrapping and boxing presents, she stacked them into a pile and began to carry them out of the bedroom to the Christmas tree when she heard the tires of the Bentley. He was back already? Valkyrie rushed to the tree and set down the marked gifts and ran to the door, opening it for Skulduggery who strolled in with a smirk apparent on his skeletal features. Valkyrie looked at him in confusion as he strode over to the couch and took a seat, leaving Valkyrie clueless. She decided to investigate and walked over to where he sat, taking a seat next to him.

"Mind telling me what you are smiling like a goon over here for?" she asked, leaning forward so she could see his skull better. Skulduggery glanced over at her and leaned back, reaching into his pocket for something. Valkyrie watched speechless as he pulled out a small box, and began to laugh so hard, her eyes watered a bit. She grasped her side and finished her giggling fit, and just had to ask.

"So that's our present to Erskine?" she asked, wiping the tears of laughter from her eye.

Skulduggery smiled and nodded, earning a smirk from Valkyrie who sighed in amusement. She leaned over and kissed him on the teeth and whispered, "Oh, I love you."

**_The Following Day:_**

Tanith smiled sweetly at Valkyrie as she began unwrapping the delicate paper covering her gift, and gasped in adoration as she pulled out the zombie movie: "Shawn of the Dead."

Tanith hopped up and hugged her sister, then ran back to her seat leaning into Ghastly. Now it was Fletcher's turn to open his gift, which read "From Skulduggery" on it. He gave a curious glance to the skeleton before ripping it open to reveal a huge bottle of hair gel. Fletcher gave a quick laugh and thank you to Skulduggery, earning a nod from him as he wrapped his skeletal arm around Valkyrie's shoulder.

She couldn't wait for Erskine's reaction to his present. His face would be priceless, and she only prayed that there was a camera nearby when he opened it. She was brought out of her thoughts as Ghastly began to unwrap his present: a new sewing machine.

Ghastly nodded his thanks to Valkyrie and Skulduggery, and gently set the machine down as Ravel impatiently reached for his own present. Valkyrie giggled and handed it to him, smirking at Skulduggery who just leaned back, a smirk forming across his skeletal features. Ravel rubbed his hands together and unwrapped the small gift saying, "Well, you know the saying, the smaller the most expensive."

Valkyrie and Skulduggery laughed.

As he tore the last bits of paper and tape off, and his eyes widened. He examined the label on the box and gasped in horror, and then glared at Skulduggery and Valkyrie, who were clutching onto each other in laughter. Now, even Tanith, Fletcher, and Ghastly were laughing at his reaction, adding to Ravel's irritation.

"That was a sick joke, Skulduggery!" he screeched, quietly slipping the condoms into his pocket.

"I know, couldn't resist," Skul managed, leaning against Val for support.

"Valkyrie! Please tell me you have something better than what your boyfriend has just given!" he begged, looking over at the now calmed Valkyrie.

She nodded, a smirk forming across her pink lips, and stood to walk in her bedroom. Erskine looked at Skulduggery in confusion, but he just shrugged and watched as Valkyrie returned, shoving something behind her back. Tanith and Fletcher laughed as they got a good glance at what she was carrying. Valkyrie gave him one last smile before pulling out a T-shirt with Ravel's smiling face across it. Under the picture in big red letters it read: "#1 Man Whore!"

Ravel growled before snatching the shirt, and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him. The whole room then exploded with laughter, Skulduggery whispering something in Valkyrie's ear. Her eyes widened, and her expression became soft as she replied, "You did?"

Skulduggery only nodded and handed her the present. She smiled at him and untied the bow atop it, pulling the paper back to reveal a new pair of slippers. Valkyrie laughed and slipped them on before leaning over and kissing Skulduggery. He parted from her much to her confusion and stood, earning the attention from everyone in the room. He grabbed Valkyrie's hands and helped her stand up, smiling at the confused look on her face.

Valkyrie watched in utter shock as he leaned down on one knee, and pulled out a velvet box. She placed a hand over her mouth as tears sprang from her eyes when Skulduggery revealed a beautiful ring inside the box. Ghastly was hugging Tantith who was squealing like a lunatic, Fletcher beside them glaring at Skulduggery.

"Valkyrie Cain, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" he asked, a huge grin finding its way upon his skull.

Valkyrie didn't answer due to her shaky voice but nodded as Skulduggery slipped the ring on her finger and stood up to envelope her in a kiss.

* * *

A/N: AWWWWW HOW SWEET!

Too fluffy? Ehh whatever. Well hope you enjoyed Erskine's presents!

BTW that line up there in Spanish read: _**Now, read with caution...there is a mention of condoms. o.o**_

REVIEW PLEASE! :D  
LOVE YOU ALL!


	22. Chapter 22: Jealousy

Chapter 22: Jealousy

A/N: MWAHAHA EVIL CHAPTER FOR MY OWN PLEASURE :D

Lol, sorry about that, I just can't express how much I dislike China Sorrows. Therefore since I do not own her, I shall make a chapter about her NOT getting something she wants for once. Sorry to you fans who adore China Sorrows.

* * *

China Sorrows clawed the side of the bookshelf she was currently standing by as she watched the couple a few yards in front of her. She couldn't take the sight of the two talking romantically, or kissing. She couldn't, and even the people in her library shouldn't have to put up with the huge display of PDA.

She finally decided enough was enough and marched over to Valkyrie and Skulduggery, a glare scrunching up her delicate features. She finally came to a stop, and smacked her heel against the floor to get their attention. Skulduggery glanced up from the kiss he was partaking in, and nodded with his gloved hand. Valkyrie was draped over him, not caring that China was standing above her but smirked against Skulduggery's teeth.

"You two, out!" China screeched, pointing at the door with anger.

Valkyrie finally parted from Skulduggery and looked up at China with a huge grin on her face. China only glared in return; her smoky eyes making her look demonic. Skulduggery looked from woman to woman, confused at the little glare match they had going on.

"China, you alright?" Skulduggery asked gently, poking her arm.

China growled and gave a fake smile to him, replying, "No I am not, Skulduggery. You are dating the local whore!"

Valkyrie shot her head up at China and gave her own growl, and the two continued to give each other dirty looks as Skulduggery stood in between them, putting his hands up in surrender. He whipped his skull to face China, and his anger was quite apparent in his velvety voice as he began to speak.

"Did you just call _Valkyrie _a whore?" he muttered, getting up into China's face angrily.

China smirked with her scarlet lips before answering, "Yes I did, Skulduggery. What are you going to do about it?"

Skulduggery kept his glare steady and whispered, "You are lucky I didn't kill you ages ago."

China laughed at his comment, and put a hand on his shoulder whispering back, "Aw, but you didn't did you? It's because you loved me, huh?"

Skulduggery didn't answer but clenched his fists, trying not to punch this woman square in the face. China glanced at the pouting Valkyrie behind him, and returned her gaze to Skulduggery, a sneaky idea creeping into her mind.

"Hmm, is your memory a little fuzzy, Skulduggery? Maybe I should refresh it for you," she whispered, smashing her lips against his teeth.

Skulduggery went rigid and never relaxed, but tried to get the cling-on off of him. After a few attempts, he glanced over at Valkyrie, who had tears streaming down her face. She was biting her lip to stop from moaning in despair, but couldn't hold it any longer as China tried to wrap herself around the skeleton. Valkyrie cried out heartbroken and ran out of the library without another look. Skulduggery's rage soon reached new heights, and he ripped China's hands off of him and punched her in the face without any regret of hitting a woman. China looked up in sadness and watched as her dream man marched out of the library, furious.  
Skulduggery rushed through the dimly lit hallways and ran out the double doors the building to get drenched almost immediately. His gaze frantically went from side to side, hoping to catch a glimpse of Valkyrie running through the streets. Rain poured in endless sheets on his new suit much to his discontent, but he kept searching for Valkyrie anyways. He ran through the darkness of the night, until his legs became exhausted, and he crashed down on his knees in despair. He covered his skull with his hands and began to 'cry', wishing he had killed China awhile back. He had no idea where his beloved Valkyrie had ran off to, but he so wished he could be there stroking her hair, telling her everything was going to be alright. Sadly, he couldn't do that, because even if he did find her, the first thing she would do is avoid a conversation with him.

Skulduggery decided that sitting there in the rain crying really wasn't going to help, and finally brought himself to stand. He immediately began running once again, this time down every alley he could possibly go through. He was having no luck with this, and only hoped she would turn up real soon.

Skulduggery was about to exit the alley he was currently in when he heard a small cry. He spun around and tried to make out anything through the pitch black alley, and finally clicked his fingers to spark a flame. He held the flame out to where he heard the crying, and saw a soaked woman in black sitting with her knees to her face, her knotted black hair covering it. He whispered something under his breath and rushed over to Valkyrie, trying to hug her and sooth her. As he reached out, she brought her arms out and shoved him back in anger, thinking he was a dirty liar.

He sighed and sat as close to her as she would allow, and decided what to say without angering her any further.

"Val, please try to understand, she kissed _me. _I did not respond in any way shape or form to that bum putting her bewitched lips upon me. Val, I love you and only you. I would never have feelings for China ever, and everything she told you was a lie straight from the evilness inside her. Look at me, Val."

After a few minutes, Valkyrie finally brought herself to his gaze, and scooted next to him, wrapping her arms around his ribcage. A single tear went down her cheek as she looked up at his skull, seeing the sadness and pain etched onto his skeletal features.

"I love you too. You are forgiven," Valkyrie whispered, smiling at him.

Skulduggery tilted his head in return and bent down to bring his teeth to her lips. Valkyrie responded eagerly, her wet clothes molding into his. Skulduggery brought a gloved hand to her head, his hand running through her soaked black hair smoothly. Valkyrie soon parted and smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling in the moonlight.

From the road on the outside of the alley, China Sorrows pulled her car up and growled at the sight, enraged. Why couldn't he just love her?

* * *

A/N: Ha ha and one more ha to you China Sorrows.

God I despise her. -.-

Anyone in the same boat as me? Or do y'all hate me now for posting a chapter against Ms. Sorrows?

Ehh, well even if you do, I love you guys too!

-.- Ugh…that woman is fake.

xD


	23. Chapter 23: China'sRevenge

Chapter 23: China's…"Revenge"…

A/N: Hmm, mysterious chapter title you say? You shall see why, trust me on that. I got a request for China to get revenge, and I will gladly oblige. You may be shocked as of now, because I really despise that woman, but you know the saying….

**_What comes around goes around_**

* * *

China basically rammed her car into the garage in anger, her brand new BMW's wheels screeching in wear. She couldn't get the glare off of her face as she stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut with great force. She marched into her house with her heels banging against the sidewalk, and immediately threw herself on her love seat, crying. She never felt this much pain and despair in her life, and never had she actually _cried _about a man.

She hoped that the cards would soon play in her favor later, and she could live a long happy life with Skulduggery Pleasant by her lovely side. What man wouldn't want that? She was beautiful, seductive, and intelligent! No one could possibly get in her way; no one. Well maybe she was wrong about that…the one person in between her and her dream man was her. Valkyrie Cain.

China knew it would be a challenge to get rid of Valkyrie since she actually stood a chance up against her with Skulduggery's training. Ah, Skulduggery. So considerate of others. He was the man she oh so deserved!

China lay back on her pillow, her dark hair covering her face as she imagined what it would be like torturing Valkyrie. Maybe she could be the hero of this story also! She could get Valkyrie so angry that Darquesse would come to the surface, and then she could kill her. Maybe then she would get the attention and the man she wanted so badly. Sounded like a good plan. Of course it was; _she _came up with it for God's sake!

As China planned her revenge, she heard her back door open and close faintly. Curiosity plagued her mind as she slowly stood, ready to tap the symbols etched deep into her skin. She turned the corner and instantly ran head on into gun point. She looked up in horror when she caught glimpse of Skulduggery, a death glare apparent across his skull. China chewed her lip and gazed at him, a devilish glint flashing in her blue eyes. She put a finger up to the gun, earning a confused and distasteful look from Skulduggery. China giggled and pushed the gun down, trying to get up close to Skulduggery.

He backed up in confusion, going as far as he could until he was backed up against the wall. He looked behind him and grumbled when he realized he was trapped. He glanced over at China who was slowly walking towards him, beginning to take her shirt off, and immediately covered his eye sockets. What was he supposed to do now?

Valkyrie sat in the Bentley, waiting for Skulduggery to come out and tell her the job was done. She was sick of China trying to break her and Skulduggery apart, and if it weren't for Skulduggery suggesting to take the peaceful route and talk to her, she would be in there whooping that woman's ass. Wait, why was she listening to Skulduggery? She never listened to him, and there was no need to start a new trend.

Valkyrie shrugged and exited the Bentley, cracking her fists and laughing at the image of China getting her butt kicked. As Valkyrie reached the front porch, she heard voices from inside, the conversation topic wrenching her gut.

"China! You have gone mad! Put your damn clothes on!" Skulduggery called.

"No Skulduggery, this is my house. I want you Skulduggery, please have me!" China begged, probably down on her knees.

Valkyrie decided enough was enough and twisted the knob to find it locked, but no matter, she could do some damage. Valkyrie kicked the door in with all of her force, and marched in, fists cracking and ready to punch something. China shot her head over, stumbling to get up with her heels; her only clothes were a red bra and underwear. Valkyrie growled at China and started to walk up to the woman, who was smirking like a goon.

"Aw, Valkyrie Cain is jealous!" China teased, pretending to act surprised.

This only angered Valkyrie as she summoned shadows with her ring, the shadows snapping at China with rage. China only gave a devilish grin and folded her bare arms leaning against the wall.

"You don't have the guts to kill me, Cain," she muttered, tilting her head.

Skulduggery was in the background, pointing his gun straight at China's head, ready to shoot her. China was still oblivious, still waiting for Valkyrie to stab her with the shadows. Skulduggery only smiled before slightly pulling the trigger back.

"I do," he simply said, earning a shocked expression from China as she snapped her head at him.

"No, Skulduggery, you love me! You wouldn't _shoot _me! My god I've helped you so much in the past few years!" she screeched, a single tear sliding down her pale cheek.

Skulduggery showed no emotion and growled, "Try me."

China's eyes widened as Skulduggery pulled the trigger, the bullet nestling deep into China's head. She fell backwards slowly, and finally fell with a _thump. _

Valkyrie looked in surprise at Skulduggery who was holstering his gun not caring that he just killed China Sorrows. Valkyrie's heart instantly melted as she ran up to him and enveloped him in a hug, Skulduggery returning the embrace affectionately.

"You actually did it, Skul. But why? Why for me?" Valkyrie asked, looking up at Skulduggery curiously.

Skulduggery sighed and looked deep into her brown eyes before replying, "Because I love you Val. Nothing or no one could possibly change that. To be honest, I thought you were going to go Darquesse on her and rip her to shreds."

Valkyrie chuckled before answering, "Well, I wanted to see if you would do it. I mean I really wanted to, but to see you do it was way more entertaining."

Skulduggery laughed and cupped her face in his hands and brought his teeth to her lips slowly. Valkyrie replied by wrapping her arms around his neck and felt his hands slide around her waist. She pulled back slowly and looked deep into his eye sockets in complete adoration. Skulduggery tilted his head at her and smiled, slipping his hands into hers.

"I will always love you too, Skul," Valkyrie whispered.

* * *

A/N: A little fluffy huh?

Ehhh you shall get over it.

Come on, was I the only one laughing like a maniac when China died?

I guess I'm just that evil!

MWAHAHAHA! (Laugh needs a little work).

:|


	24. Chapter 24: Time Travel

Chapter 24: Time Travel

A/N: I read a fic containing time travel, and I found it bloody marvelous! So I shall use the idea, but twist it into my own…Enjoy please!

HEY, sorry for the late review, I was stuck up at my Aunt's new lake house…FOUR FREAKING DAYS! With NO COMPUTER! NO UPDATES! DEPRESSING!

Hmm China and Skulduggery aren't together or anything, and I certainly hate her, but the kiss is for the plot, you'll see. (KILL ME LATER…AFTER I'VE FINISHED GETTING SICK ON MY KEYBOARD…)

So sorry, hope you enjoy this one…

* * *

Valkyrie sat at her desk in Gordon's mansion, carelessly tossing books on time travelers across the room in anger. She and Skulduggery had a huge argument about how Valkyrie didn't support a partnership with China, fore she had cheated both her and Skulduggery in many occasions, and she had led Skulduggery's family to their horrible fate. Why Skulduggery wanted China to help with this time traveling case, she did not know, but she certainly didn't care and didn't approve. China only did things for self gain…never for others. Last time Valkyrie checked, Skulduggery absolutely _hated _that woman, but she could've misread his actual feelings…

Did he care for China in a loving way?

The one thought made her heart break, and a growl emitted from her pursed lips. Nothing hurt more than seeing your true love in the arms of another…especially if it was with your worst enemy. Valkyrie slammed the book of Gordon's shut and put her head down in despair. These thoughts always lead to depression; fore it was a broken heart that pumped inside of her…

"Valkyrie?" said a soothing voice behind her.

Valkyrie spun around, wiping a tear from her eye to lay her eyes upon Echo Gordon who was standing behind her, his face full of concern. Valkyrie gave a fake and very weak smile, trying her best to hide her true emotions swimming within her mind. Echo Gordon sensed the false smile and tilted his head, wondering what in the heck she was so torn up about.

"Sorry, I just read some…depressing book…" Valkyrie lied, rubbing her exposed arms.

Gordon raised an eyebrow in suspicion, and asked the last question Valkyrie wanted, "What book was it?"

Valkyrie's eyes flickered upon the many books sprawled across the cluttered desk and whispered, "Harry Potter?"

Gordon couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips and replied, "Really? Why don't you tell me what's really up, my dear?"

Valkyrie sighed and played with a pencil muttering, "Fine, you win."

Gordon smiled in victory, and was soon tuned in on her story, making sure he got every detail. Valkyrie began explaining the fight, and Gordon nodded slowly and looked down in thought. Skulduggery did hate China, so why did he have a sudden change towards the woman? Guess he would have to sort this out for them…

"Valkyrie, dial Skulduggery's number and put the phone on speaker so I can speak to him. Leave the room afterwards ok?"

Valkyrie nodded whilst raising an eyebrow, but didn't interrogate him as she dialed Skulduggery's number and left the phone on the desk as she marched out. After the door was shut, Gordon walked over to the phone and listened as it dialed, and soon a familiar voice answered the phone.

"What do you want, Valkyrie?" Skulduggery muttered into the phone, a serious tone apparent in his voice.

"Hmm, this isn't Valkyrie," Gordon answered, raising an eyebrow at his sudden irritation.

"Oh…Gordon…" Skulduggery whispered, his tone changing.

"I have a question for you, Skulduggery. I am not pleased," Gordon replied, his own voice gaining a stern tone.

"What?" Skulduggery muttered, probably not interested.

"Why are you torturing my poor niece? She is quite depressed you know," Gordon explained, folding his arms.

Skulduggery was quiet for a moment before answering, "Torturing her? I would never."

Gordon rolled his eyes and responded, "You are working with that China again, hmm?"

Skulduggery again was quiet before replying, "Yes, I have decided to put my hatred aside."

Gordon laughed and became bemused muttering, "That's not the Skulduggery I know. What happened?"

Skulduggery sighed into the phone and answered, "We kissed…"

Gordon was suddenly enraged and he screamed, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, FOOL?"

Skulduggery was shocked at the usually calm Gordon's response, and stuttered back, "She begged for my forgiveness, Gordon…"

Gordon didn't care as words spat out of his mouth, full of anger.

"YOU DIDN'T FORGIVE THE OTHER HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WHO BEGGED FOR MERCY WHEN YOU WERE VILE!"

Skulduggery gasped in anger, and also became enraged at the mention of the war.

"I DIDN'T CARE BACK THEN, GORDON, AND YOU KNOW THAT DAMNED WELL!" Skulduggery shouted into his mobile, earning a confused glance from China in the background.

"Hmm, maybe I should tell Valkyrie about your little kiss!" Gordon spat, a taunting tone apparent.

Skulduggery was suddenly quiet and clamped his mobile shut in shock. Knowing Gordon, he definitely would tell his niece, much to Skulduggery's horror. Questions roamed through Skulduggery's mind as he sat across from China.

Why did he kiss her?

"Skul, are you alright my love?" China sang, leaning forward in her chair.

Skulduggery was enraged at hearing her voice and growled, "No I'm not. Leave me alone."

China was very confused as Skulduggery stood up and stomped out of her apartment, leaving her alone much to her sadness.

Skulduggery left the library without a single regret, and yelled as he walked out the door, "WE ARE IN FACT OVER, CHINA!"

Skulduggery slammed the door of the building shut, marching away from the heartbroken woman's quarters in rage. He got in his Bentley and slammed his foot onto the gas pedal, not a single care in his mind.

Valkyrie had just been informed of Skulduggery's kiss with…China, and was now lying in her bed, clutching the covers to her puffy face in despair. She should have seen this coming…the woman was his age, gorgeous, and incredibly smart…all characteristics of the woman Skulduggery deserved. Not some moody twenty five year old who could barely handle her emotions…she didn't even want to get into the category of looks.

Valkyrie's hair was a dark and tangled mess as she lay there depressed, tears endlessly pouring out of her brown eyes. She heard her phone ring and reached for it, and carelessly chucking it at the wall. She finally realized she had a case to deal with, and finally came up with an idea that would cheer her up to the best extent. She stood up from her bed and marched back to her desk and began looking through the time travel books that were stacked there. If anything could make her feel better, solving a case that Skulduggery had been assigned to would be it. She laughed evilly and dug through the books, looking for the item that could take her to the future to stop the end of the world. As she flicked through the pages, she caught sight of a small pocket watch nestled inside a compartment in the book.

She picked the silver watch up cautiously and examined it, noticing the numbers were replaced by years, and she adjusted the watch so it read 2020…seven years from now. She clicked in the button to save it, and there was a bright flash of light as the world swirled around her, her dark hair flying with it. Everything went white for a moment, and finally she regained her footing as the image of Gordon's mansion came back into view. She whistled and sighed, glad that nothing bad had happened, and turned to walk upstairs when she saw her hands. They were still in tact of course, but they were transparent…visible, but almost invisible. Like a ghost…

She suddenly heard footsteps and looked up to see a beautiful woman with long dark hair and brown eyes walk down the stairs. She was wearing a scarlet tank top and black skinny jeans, paired with black high-heeled leather boots that went up to her knees, She walked with grace, her hair swaying from side to side, and she was wearing a Necromancer ring on her right hand, much like hers…wait was _that _her? An older version of her? Oh God…

Valkyrie realized that she couldn't be seen, and decided to look around when something on her future self's left hand sparkled in the light. Valkyrie's jaw dropped as she realized it was a wedding ring, and only looked around to see if anyone else was currently in the house. She finally laid eyes on the future Skulduggery who was sitting on the sofa reading a paper with his left leg atop his right knee. Valkyrie glanced at his skeletal left hand and caught sight of a wedding ring, and her heart began to beat very rapidly.

She watched as the future her walked over to where Skulduggery was and straddled his hips, earning Skulduggery's full attention. Valkyrie's eyes widened in shock as her future self began kissing Skulduggery, who responded by wrapping his long bony arms around her waist. Valkyrie was on the brink of passing out, but managed to stay conscious, only because she realized that the world hadn't ended…what was going on?

Before she could piece things together, everything went spinning once again, and she soon was back in her time, instantly falling to her knees and gasping for breath. She heard shuffling from the couch and saw someone lean down aside her.

"Val?" said that velvety voice.

Valkyrie's eyes widened and she looked up to see Skulduggery crouched down, concern written across his skeletal features. Valkyrie was slightly paralyzed, but managed, "Hey, Skul…"

Skulduggery took off his hat and fumbled with it in his gloved hands, as if he was figuring out what to say. Valkyrie knew this conversation would be about the whole China situation, and quite frankly, she didn't want to sit here and lie about how great and bloody excellent she was.

"About China…" he started, crisscrossing his legs.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and muttered, "I get it, and you love her. Please leave me alone, I really don't want to sit here and listen to you brag about how marvelous she is as your damn lover!"

Skulduggery was hurt and whispered, "Val…"

Valkyrie suddenly shot up and glared, irritation apparent in her voice as she shouted, "GO! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS TO SEE YOUR BEST FRIEND AND TRUE LOVE IN THE ARMS OF MY DAMN ENEMY?"

Skulduggery was shocked at both her sudden rage and the content of it, and slowly stood. He tilted his head at her and put his hat back on, confusion making its way across his skeletal features.

"You love me?" he whispered, barely audible.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes once again and growled, "YES! It doesn't matter anyways because you're with…her. She has everything I will never have, Skul, so go back to her. You will be happy and live a long happy freaking life with her!"  
Skulduggery gasped and didn't reply, but forced a kiss on her, tightening his grip on her waist with force. Valkyrie's eyes widened and she stood rigid, but slowly gave in, wrapping her arms around his neck, eagerly pushing her lips against his teeth. Skulduggery responded by backing her up against the wall, still as forceful and passionate as before. Valkyrie pulled back for breath and looked confusedly at Skulduggery who tilted his head.

"I was trying to tell you China and I am history, done, nothing. I love you, Valkyrie Cain," he whispered, caressing her pale face with his gloved hand.

Valkyrie smiled and kissed him again, deciding not to tell him about her little time traveling event. He definitely would walk away from her then…or would he?

* * *

A/N: Whew done. At the beginning I realized I was so into the romantic drama that I got off task of the ACTUAL plot. Hope you don't mind…MWAHAHA YOU THOUGHT I WOULD LET CHINA HAVE HER WAY?


	25. Chapter 25: Rookies

Chapter 25: Rookies

A/N: This is going to be a mini story about an idea NightCatMau and I came up with. So enjoy! (STILL VALDUGGERY)

* * *

Skulduggery sat in his meditation chair scanning the newspapers that cluttered his floor, curious about the news report he had just seen on TV. Apparently a young mage had been murdered quite viciously, his powers taken away then he was twisted into an unnatural form. Of course to the mortals, they just thought of it as a poor man who was murdered in an odd fashion. Skulduggery had tuned in with the Sanctuary to figure out what happened, and while he and Valkyrie dealt with another case, rookie detectives had attended the crime scene, gathering all of the information.

Valkyrie strolled into the room sipping tea, her dark hair in a tangled mess. She glanced over at Skulduggery as he flung through the stacks of newspapers looking for further reports.

"Weren't other detectives supposed to tend to that case, honey?" she asked taking a seat on the couch across from him.

Skulduggery only looked up at her for a second and shrugged before searching through the news reports once again. Valkyrie sighed and placed her tea down on the glass table and walked over to place a comforting hand on her husband's shoulder, wondering why he was obsessing over a simple murder.

"Mind telling me why you are so intrigued by this case?" she questioned, rubbing his bony shoulder.

Skulduggery looked up at her and replied, "Well, it's just the method of the murderer. They seemed to have drained his powers before twisting his body into a pretzel. I just haven't heard of any powers such as those, you?"

Valkyrie shrugged and thought before answering, "The only person I could remember that could do that kind of thing was Serpine…but he's out of the question due to his trip to Hell."

Skulduggery chuckled before standing up and reaching for his mobile. Valkyrie moaned and rolled her eyes, taking a seat on the couch once again.

"Why must you get thrown into the pot of this case? I mean, you are a great detective and all, but maybe we should let the rookies handle this. This dynamic duo I think deserves a break," Valkyrie explained, leaning back into the couch, placing her hands behind her head.

Skulduggery tilted his skull at her and shook his head whilst replying, "Val, you know as well as I do that those rookies won't solve this case."

Valkyrie sighed before whispering, "Yeah, I know."

Skulduggery bent down and grabbed the picture of the tangled body, wondering what mage or creature could possibly twist the body and strip away powers. It could be done no doubt, but not by just anyone.

"I need to call Erskine and request if we can join in on this case…Maybe we could work with the other detectives," Skulduggery said, scrolling through his contacts.

Valkyrie stretched and rolled her eyes and muttered, "As much fun as that sounds, being rookies they are probably cocky…"

Skulduggery shrugged in response as he held the mobile up to his skull and watched as Valkyrie grabbed her empty cup and walked into the kitchen. After a few beeps, there was a response from the other line, and an annoyed Erskine picked up.

"Hello, Skulduggery. What do you need?" Erskine asked, slightly irritated.

"Someone's crabby. Is Tipstaff having a rampage?" Skulduggery replied amused.

Erskine mumbled something before answering, "Yes he is. Now, back to your problem."

"Well, I know you have assigned those rookies to the case of Jack Horrid's murder, but I think this murder may be more complex than we first thought it to be," Skulduggery explained, beginning to pace the living room.

"Why do you think that Skulduggery?" Erskine questioned from the other line.

Skulduggery paused before answering, "Well, if you have examined the photos, you probably noticed the state of the man's body. When was the last time you witnessed a mage use a power such as that?"

There was another long pause before Erskine replied, "The only person I can remember using a power such as bending a body in such a way was Serpine…but the man's dead, Skulduggery."

"Did he have any…relations?"

"Well, not that we know of. Serpine's role mostly came into play when he started to get high in the ranks of Mevolent's side…We never paid attention to his life before. Although, being such a madman, I don't think anyone would have wanted to be a part of his life as rude as it sounds."

Skulduggery nodded and replied, "Well I guess you could be right. I do wonder why they chose Mr. Horrid to murder though; I mean he was young and unknown. What was the point?"

He heard Erskine move around in his seat before answering, "Well I don't know. That's for you and the rookies to figure out. You four are teaming up on this case."

"Alright, Erskine. I pray to God these men aren't some dimwitted losers that I will have to put up with…"

Erskine chuckled and said, "Well, that's a matter of opinion. Come here tomorrow with Val and you can meet them, alright? Now have a good night Skulduggery."

Skulduggery exchanged goodbyes with Erskine and snapped his mobile shut, walking into the kitchen. Valkyrie was at the sink washing dishes, humming some song to herself and swaying her hips. God he loved everything about her.

Skulduggery walked up behind her softly, placing his hands on her hips and resting his skull atop her head, earning a gasp and a blush.

"Oh God, you weren't supposed to see that," she moaned, bringing a hand up to cover her reddening face.

Skulduggery chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, a smile creeping up on his skeletal features. Valkyrie leaned back into him and closed her eyes before asking, "What do you need to tell me?"

Skulduggery sighed and replied, "How do you know I need anything, maybe I just want a little quality time with my wife."

Valkyrie laughed and turned around patting his shoulder as she walked away replying, "I know you too well, Skul. You are buttering me up because you need to tell me something I don't want to hear. Now spill it."

Skulduggery sighed and muttered something about her being too smart, earning a raised eyebrow from Valkyrie who was sitting at the table, sipping more tea.

"Erskine wants us to go in and meet the rookie detectives that we are going to team up with on this case," Skulduggery explained taking a seat across from her.

"Ooh! Fun," Valkyrie mumbled sarcastically.

THE NEXT DAY:

"I really don't want to do this," Valkyrie complained, entwining her hand with Skulduggery's as they opened the meeting room door.

Skulduggery chuckled as he stepped in finally getting to see the detectives. What he saw was unexpected.

Valkyrie looked the two women up and down, wondering if these were the detectives they were supposed to be meeting. One wore a white T-shirt with black suspenders, black skinny jeans, and black and white Converses. She had blond hair and blue eyes, looking to be about eighteen. Valkyrie also noticed the two black gloves on her hands, wondering if it was some kind of fashion statement.

She looked over at the other girl who was wearing a black and white striped shirt, black shorts, and black combat boots. She had long brown hair, and emerald green eyes, looking about the same age as the other girl.

"Hello, um, detectives?" Valkyrie greeted not knowing if these were detectives or not.

"Hi, I'm Crystal Clearwater, and this is my sister Stormy Darkshadow," said the blond one, gesturing to the brunette.

Valkyrie nodded and smiled, reaching out a hand to shake theirs, waiting for Skul to start asking questions.

"So I'm guessing you are American?" Skulduggery asked, gaining nods from the detectives.

Valkyrie didn't like Americans, and neither did Skulduggery, but these girls seemed sweet…almost too sweet…

"So you guys are detectives?" Skulduggery pressed, adjusting his tie.

"Yup, and crazy ones at that," Stormy replied, gaining a laugh from Crystal.

Valkyrie smiled sweetly at them as they giggled, starting to like them. They reminded her of Tanith, who was on her honeymoon with Ghastly at the moment.

"So we are working together on this case?" Crystal piped up, adjusting her gloves.

Valkyrie nodded along with Skulduggery, realizing she was staring at the gloves way too much. She decided to ask another question, filling up the awkward silence that consumed the room.

"What are your magical abilities?" Valkyrie asked, looking at the suddenly flustered girls.

"Um, we don't know yet…" Stormy stuttered, looking nervously at her sister.

Valkyrie nodded suspiciously, wondering if they already knew and didn't want to share.

"Well, it doesn't matter, we have an important case at hand," Skulduggery pointed out, hoping Valkyrie didn't start interrogating the girls.

"Whatever," Valkyrie mumbled, eyeing the rigid teenagers in front of her.

* * *

A/N: UH OH.

Some people are hiding some things...

What do you think their powers are? ;D


	26. Chapter 26: Suspicion

26: Suspicion

A/N: Yeah, some of you have guessed my plot…NO MATTER. I SHALL KEEP WRITING…

Shout out to NightCatMau for being Stormy Darkshadow for me!

* * *

"I don't get why the murderer selected this man for their target," Skulduggery muttered, looking through the files of the now dead mage.

Valkyrie shrugged and looked over at her husband saying, "Well, you know how these cases normally work, Skul. Someone might be out of revenge. It says right her in his file he's a gambler."

Skulduggery chuckled and pointed to his outfit in the picture. "Obviously he's not very good."

Valkyrie smiled and rolled her eyes replying, "Sorry that not everyone has spectacular suits like you, Skul."

Skulduggery smiled, and there was a loud cough from the corner of the room. Both Valkyrie and Skulduggery looked behind them at Crystal and Stormy, who were exchanging glances at each other.

"Are you two done flirting?" Stormy asked, leaning against one of the many filing cabinets.

Crystal whispered something, and Valkyrie and Skulduggery realized how awkward they had made the two teenagers. Valkyrie gave a nervous smile and her gaze flickered at Skulduggery, who was trying to look off in the opposite direction. Crystal and Stormy rolled their eyes before getting back to the files; constantly glancing back to make sure the couple wasn't doing anything…romantic.

"Oh guys, I got something," Crystal called, pulling out a pale and dusty file.

Stormy glanced at it as Crystal blew the dust into her face, laughing uncontrollably afterwards. Valkyrie decided she redeemed herself and folded her arms with one eyebrow raised.

"You two done acting like children?" she asked, eyeing the stiffened teenagers.

They gave dirty looks before Crystal opened the file labeled: "Jack Horrid."

"What does it say, sis?" Stormy asked, trying to peer over her sister's shoulders impatiently.

Crystal shrugged and looked up at everyone as they sat waiting for her to say something. She laughed before beginning to explain more about the late Mr. Horrid.

"Well, he's an elemental…poor….gambler…nothing we didn't already know…wait," Crystal's eyes widened, much to Skulduggery and Valkyrie's suspicion.

"What is it, Crystal?" Valkyrie asked, looking into the girl's electric blue eyes.

Crystal slowly replied, "He was one of Serpine's henchmen other than the Hollow Men."

Valkyrie felt Skulduggery go rigid next to her, and nightmares came flooding into her mind. She remembered the pain she endured as Serpine laughed manically, using his red right hand. Nightmares of Skulduggery's family being murdered also found their way into her brain, but she knew she better not bring it up. She glanced over at Skulduggery who was still as stiff as a rock, and put a hand to his shoulder. He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her, sadness etched into his skeletal features.

"Skul, it's alright. Serpine's dead, remember? We got him," Valkyrie explained cheerfully, earning a growl from the two sisters.

Both Skulduggery and Valkyrie snapped their heads in confusion at the two girls, who instantly went quiet. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow once again, and studied the blank faces of the teenagers, wondering why they had just growled when she had mentioned Serpine.

"Is everything alright with you two?" Valkyrie asked angrily, her gaze flickering from sister to sister.

The two girls looked at each other before Stormy cleared her throat and said slowly, "Um, you guys can handle this case. We will find another one."

Skulduggery and Valkyrie exchanged confused glances and watched as the two girls left the room, not one look back. Something was wrong with those two…Valkyrie could feel it.

"We almost blew our cover, Crystal!" Stormy hissed her emerald green eyes full with venom.

Crystal growled at her sister and whispered back, "That Valkyrie Cain probably already knows who I am! Who else wears gloves in eighty degree weather?"

Stormy sighed and shrugged as they stormed down the hallway, their fists clenched. They both suddenly stopped, and smirked at each other, evil written across their delicate features. Stormy gave an evil laugh before whispering, "Feel like visiting Mom while we're here?"

Crystal nodded and the two girls ran down the hallways of the sanctuary, evil thoughts flooding their minds. Their time in Ireland was going to be well spent.

~#~

"Erskine, we didn't insult them!" Valkyrie spat, leaning on Erskine's desk consumed with anger.

Erskine laughed before spinning in his swivel chair replying, "Knowing you, Valkyrie, you have a tendency to lie to authority figures such as me. So, please tell me the truth before you lose your job."

Valkyrie growled in anger and spun around to walk into Skulduggery who clutched her to him, knowing he had to do something. He brought his skull close to her ear and Valkyrie began to calm.

"Val, my love, you need to calm down. I know, Erskine is a royal pain, but you can't lose your cool now," he whispered, feeling Valkyrie relax and take a deep breath.

She spun around and smiled at the smirking Grand Mage, and leaned against his desk once again, ready to be "nice."

"Erskine, you want to know what happened in there?" Valkyrie asked, looking deep into Erskine's eyes.

Erskine chuckled before nodding, setting his coffee down on his desk before folding his arms. Valkyrie gave him another smile and sat upon his desk and began to explain what happened.

"Those girls may have been close with Serpine, Erskine."

Erskine gave a hefty laugh and looked at Valkyrie, the humor apparent in his eyes as he replied, "Please, Valkyrie. Serpine had no friends! Those innocent girls wouldn't do anything like that, trust me. Am I upset they just quit? Yes, I am. I'm slightly angered at the situation right now."

Valkyrie laughed in response and muttered, "You are only mad because they wouldn't agree to have sex with you."

Erskine gasped, deeply offended, and heard Skulduggery muttering something under his breath. He stood up enraged and shoved Valkyrie onto the floor, shouting, "You are a bitch, Valkyrie Cain! You are fired! You hear me? FIRED!"

Valkyrie struggled to pick herself up, and heard shuffling, looking up just in time to see Skulduggery grabbing Erskine by the collar and slamming him against the white wall.

"Did you just put your hands on my wife?" Skulduggery growled, not releasing his death grip on Erskine's shirt.

Erskine sputtered blood before muttering, "Yes, she is a disgrace to this sanctuary! How dare you marry such a bloody BITCH!"

Skulduggery roared with rage and went to slam his fist into Erskine's face when there was a delicate but strong grasp on his wrist. He turned his skull to see Valkyrie with a calmed expression on her face, looking deep into his eye sockets.

"Skulduggery, don't do it. You will regret this," she whispered, gesturing to Erskine with her free hand.

Skulduggery nodded and glanced at Erskine whose eyes were widened in fear. Skulduggery sighed and released his grip on Erskine's collar, Erskine falling to the floor in an odd heap.

"Thank you, Valkyrie," he whispered, earning a sweet smile from his wife.

Valkyrie kissed him on the cheekbone and they strolled out, Skulduggery teasing Valkyrie about being fired.

* * *

A/N: Decided to end it on a pleasant note. The next one will be quite entertaining for NightCatMau and myself.


	27. Chapter 27: A Visit to Mummy Dearest

Chapter 27: A Visit to Mummy Dearest

A/N: Ah, I understand that to some, my story is awfully confusing and my chapters are 'out of place'. I'm sorry you feel that way. Maybe I will separate my mini stories into their own little stories just for you. I shall not retaliate towards your complaint in anyway, but pursue to make things easier for you. Thank you for bringing the problem up, Ms. Anonymous.

Anyways, NightCatMau, ready for some torture?

* * *

China sat in a chair at her house that night, images of her past flowing through her mind. A few mistakes were made…about two to be exact.

China sighed and slammed the book she was attempting to read shut and got up to make some coffee. She tucked her raven black hair behind her ear before setting her reading glasses down gently on the living room table. She proceeded to the kitchen, thinking about a few other mistakes she had made…letting that Detective steal her love away from her. Damn that Valkyrie Cain.

China grumbled as she pulled the coffee from the cupboard and flicked on her coffee pot. As she placed a few scoops of the coffee into the tray, she heard a sudden noise from outside like a crash. She stood petrified, wondering what to do when a window in her living room burst. China's instincts crept in and she reached into one of the kitchen drawers for a knife.

She was shaking as she pulled it out of its compartment, and clutched it tightly to her chest, slowly creeping towards the living room. The lamp had turned off somehow, leaving the room pitch black as China walked in, her gaze flickering from side to side. Suddenly, she heard the lamp chain being pulled, and the room was filled with light, revealing the two trespassers.

China gasped in horror, dropping the knife in shock, and tried to tap some of the symbols embedded in her skin. There was an evil laugh as she did so, and she looked up at the girl who was shaking her head in laughter.

"China, China, China. Or should I go with Mom?" spoke the woman, leaning back against the wall, fiddling with her black gloves.

China glared viciously at her and continued to tap the symbols that would form a force field for her protection. There was shuffling from the other side of the room, causing China's gaze to wander that way, and there stood the other girl with a devilish smirk on her face as she began to step forward slowly.

"What are you guys doing here?" China growled, looking from girl to girl.

The two looked at each other and laughed as the blond one spoke, "What? We can't visit our own _mom? _That's very disappointing."

China snarled as she outstretched her arms, releasing a wave of magic that flew at the blond girl who cart wheeled out of the way and laughed once again.

"I'm surprised you haven't bothered to mention your own _daughters' _names. I mean, come on China. Has it been that long?" she teased, placing her hands on her hips.

China whispered back venomously, "How could I possibly forget your names, Crystal?"

Crystal looked over at her sister Stormy and cackled as she began pulling off the suspicious black gloves. China gaped in horror as Crystal revealed her red right hand and began waving her fingers.

"What, Mom, you forgot I had this?" Crystal growled, examining the bright red hand.

China looked down and shook her head, waiting for her symbols to recharge. Crystal and Stormy shared suspicious glances, and Crystal nodded for her sister to take a blow. Stormy smirked and stepped forward, causing China's attention to turn back to her as she sent another wave of magic in the air. Stormy did a simple flip as the magic went by, and continued the chain as she outstretched her own arms, causing dark shadows to climb from her wrists. China barrel rolled as the shadows zoomed by, knowing what would happen if they got a hold of her.

Since they were her daughters, their powers were about equal to hers, except the powers given to Crystal from her father…Serpine.

_God that was a _major_ mistake_, China thought as she ducked from another wave of shadows sent from Stormy. China's thoughts fluttered back to why she had agreed to making love with Serpine…her father had forced her, fore it was the only way Serpine would trust her completely. Of course, she didn't tell him she was pregnant, fore they were in a war at the moment. China growled at the thoughts as Crystal frowned and stepped forward angrily, glaring deeply at her.

"_Enough!_" she screeched, causing her sister to freeze instantly.

China and Stormy watched as a smirk formed upon Crystal's lips when her gaze met China's. She sighed humorously and walked directly at China, who began to stand up shakily. Crystal leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "What about we finish this?"

China went rigid with fear, knowing what was about to happen. Crystal chuckled at her reaction and took a few steps back, standing a few yards in front of China.

"You know how this game works, China. You take a shot, I take a shot. Simple? Yeah, that's right," Crystal laughed, gesturing to China to take the first shot.

China hastily looked down at her scratched arms and quickly tapped a few tattoos, a blast of magic flying towards Crystal with great speed. Crystal smirked and slid to the side, letting the magic go past, and stepped back to her spot gracefully.

_"My turn_," Crystal whispered icily, slowly reaching out her hand.

China frowned as Crystal twisted her red hand, feeling the immediate pain that it caused. China tried to act tough as the pain coursed through her, but failed as she moaned in pain. She could hear Crystal laugh evilly as she twisted her hand once again, this time earning a scream to emit from her mother who was writhing on the floor in pain.

"You shouldn't have abandoned us, China," Crystal spat, continuously turning her hand.

China screamed once again and went to touch her tattoos slowly as the pain grew, but Stormy wouldn't let it happen. She stepped forward and outstretched her arms, the shadows leaking from her wrists and snapping out at China. She couldn't dodge them as they flew forward, and flinched as the pain doubled. The shadows went to China's red arms, and dug into her flesh, causing her to moan in pain once again. She knew now that her powers were disabled, and she only hoped her daughters would be merciful and let her live.

_Back at the mansion:_

"Skul, I know I should have brought it up yesterday, but remember those rookies?" Valkyrie asked, taking a seat next to her husband gracefully.

Skul looked over slowly and nodded, waiting for her to speak once again.

"Did you see how much the Stormy girl looked like…China?" Valkyrie whispered, wondering how Skulduggery would react.

Skulduggery snapped his skull at her and gasped as he replied, "She did, didn't she?"

Valkyrie nodded and continued without hesitation, "Another thing…Weren't Crystal's gloves a little…odd?"

Skulduggery looked offended as he shot back, "Hey, don't forget that I wear gloves, Val."

Valkyrie laughed and rubbed his shoulder as she replied, "Well, you need them. Why would she be wearing them?"

Skulduggery shrugged as he answered, "Well, she is American. What do you expect? They come up with the _weirdest _fashion trends."

Valkyrie laughed and nodded before saying, "I think she's hiding something, Skul."

Skulduggery went quiet as he stared at Valkyrie, and knew exactly what she was thinking. He sagged his shoulders in discontent and whined, "Do we have to go to _her _house?"

Valkyrie sighed and continued to rub her husband's shoulders before answering, "I know, I know. I hate her too, but she might have some disturbing secrets to spill. Come on, I promise I will make it up to you later."

Skulduggery shot up in a second and jogged out the door, leaving Valkyrie to laugh as she went to grab her coat.

After a while in the Bentley, they were finally in front of China's house. As Valkyrie began to walk up to the door, Skulduggery placed a soft yet firm grip on her chest to stop her. As Valkyrie went to complain, Skulduggery gestured to the broken window and pulled out his revolver. Valkyrie saw it and nodded as they slowly crept forward to get a better look at things.

They were about three feet away as an ear piercing scream filled the air. Valkyrie's eyes widened as she shot her head at Skulduggery as he ran to the door and fiddled with the lock. Valkyrie sighed and face palmed, coughing to get his detention. Skulduggery looked over at her and shrugged as if to say "What?"

Valkyrie gestured to the broken window, earning thumbs up from Skul who ran to the window and jumped into the house without hesitation. Valkyrie was expecting to see the worst as they climbed in, but what she saw shocked her.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"What the Hell?" Valkyrie whispered, glancing at Skulduggery who was frozen.

"I have no clue, Val," he replied, replacing his revolver.

"This is weird," Valkyrie stated, examining the room.

Skulduggery nodded in reply and ordered, "Stay here. I am going to check things out."

Valkyrie nodded and folded her arms as he went off to check things out, and looked around the room. It was _trashed_.

If she didn't know any better, she would have guessed someone had been dueling in here. But why?

She tucked her dark hair behind her ear and began to snoop around, hoping to find some evidence. She crouched down by the couch, flinching at the sound of glass crushing beneath her, and began to look under it. Oddly enough, something was stuffed on top of one of the small wooden rods, and Valkyrie smirked. She reached forward and grasped the parchment, pulling it out slowly to reveal China's hand writing sprawled across the page.

_Dear Serpine,_

_I know you are busy as of now, but I wish to inform you that I am indeed pregnant, and you are the father. I know you probably don't care whatsoever being caught up in the war and all, but I needed to tell you. _

_Sincerely,_

_China Sorrows_

Valkyrie gasped in horror, her chocolate eyes widening in disgust. She threw the parchment back and threw herself up against the wall, trying to let the new information sink in.

_China and Serpine?_

Ugh, she really regretted reading that blasted note. As Valkyrie cringed in disgust, Skulduggery entered the room once again, his gaze immediately falling upon his wife, who looked like she had just smelled a skunk.

"Uh, Val, you alright?" he asked concernedly, walking up to her.

Valkyrie shook her head no, earning a confused look from Skulduggery, and he only wished she would explain what she was cringing about.

"C-China a-and S-Serpine…B-Baby…N-Note," she stuttered, slowly pointing at the floor.

Skulduggery followed her gesture to see a yellowing piece of parchment lying on the floor a few feet away. Skulduggery nervously glanced at Valkyrie before walking to the note and grabbing it, beginning to read its contents.

Skulduggery immediately froze and dropped the note, not believing what he was reading. _That sick bitch_, he thought, spinning back around to see Valkyrie still in shock.

He rushed over to Valkyrie and kissed her, hoping she would snap out of her daze. Valkyrie responded by wrapping her arms around his neck, earning a smile from Skulduggery. As he went to pull back, he felt a tear graze his cheek bone and immediately looked at her eyes. Was she crying? She was crying…

"Val, why are you crying?" Skulduggery asked, taking her into his arms.

Valkyrie shook before replying, "I trusted her! S-She was my f-friend!"

Skulduggery was filled with sympathy for her and held her close, stroking her dark hair. He chastely kissed her forehead and took a step back to look at her.

"Val, my love, everything's alright. It's not the first time she disappointed someone. Remember, she was my friend too," Skulduggery soothed, earning a nod from his wife who hugged him before walking out of the house.

* * *

A/N: Aw, poor Val.

Is it bad I enjoyed torturing China? No t'is not.

Hope you ENJOYED THIS!


	28. Chapter 28: Torture and Sympathy

Chapter 28: Torture and Sympathy

A/N: Hmm, I seem to have forgotten that there are indeed China fans out there…Oops. WELL JUST SO YOU KNOW…*cough* she ends up getting saved, because Val and Skul are freaking NICE. So, there, everything is DAPPER in the end.

* * *

Skulduggery lay in bed that night trying t soak in every new piece of information about their case and their lives. China was kidnapped somehow, which oddly followed the pattern of Jack Horrid's murder. Skulduggery still wondered why the pair of murderers had chosen that gambler for a target. Had he said something to them he shouldn't have? Did he make a deal and not fulfill his part?

Great, there was no evidence whatsoever in both crime scenes, except of course in Jack Horrid's where he was stretched into a pretzel. Skulduggery knew two things as of the moment. He hated China with a burning passion, but if he and Valkyrie screwed up, China would also face a twisty fate.

"Skul, are you alright?" Valkyrie suddenly asked, feeling Skulduggery go rigid next to her.

Skulduggery was quiet for a long while before whispering back, "No…No I'm not."

Valkyrie became confused and sat up in their bed, wondering what to ask without pushing an unnecessary button. She slid her hand into Skulduggery's and thought, before a metaphorical light bulb went off in her head.

"It's the murder, isn't it?" Valkyrie asked cautiously, rubbing her husband's hand.

Skulduggery didn't answer, but nodded in response, his mind wandering back to the mystery of who the murderers were. Valkyrie noticed he was in deep thought and didn't feel like talking about it, so she lay back down and stared up at her thought filled Skulduggery.

"I know that we both hate China with a burning passion, but that doesn't mean I want to see her _killed_, Val," Skulduggery explained quietly, earning a nod from Valkyrie as she propped herself up on one elbow.

"I know, Skul, I know. I completely understand what you are saying, and I want to help, but we have no clue where the murderer's hiding…We don't even understand their magic yet," Valkyrie replied, looking deep into his eye sockets.

Skulduggery shuffled a bit before saying, "I think it's not a 'murderer' but actual 'murderers.' I mean, it just seems to make sense since two types of magic are being used in one event. I honestly think that there's a tag team committing these murders. One drains the power of the target so they can't retaliate, and the other one somehow twists them into full blown pretzels."

Valkyrie listened as it all clicked into place, but one question still stayed put in her mind.

"Who do we know that hates China enough to kidnap her?" Valkyrie finally asked, looking out the window in deep concentration.

Skulduggery took the question into thinking but replied, "I honestly have no clue. Although, there _are _two people who I find very suspicious,"

Valkyrie snapped out of her thoughts and stared at him curiously before realizing who he was referring to. She looked up silently and whispered, "Oh. _Them._"

_Back with China:_

China was in great disbelief at how powerful these girls were. No one could have taken her down that quickly even if they tried their absolute best. She guessed it was because they were her offspring.

"China, I know by that smirk on your face that you are thinking highly of yourself. Obviously you are wrong, fore you just managed to get kidnapped by two eighteen year olds. So, stop before I get angry," Crystal spat, watching as Stormy shackled her to the stone wall.

China pried herself from her thoughts and watched as Stormy glared at her, wondering why they hated their own mother so much. Stormy raised an eyebrow before stepping back, and whispered something in Crystal's ear, causing a growl to emit from her pursed lips.

"What are you thinking about over there, China?" Crystal asked, looking distastefully at her mother.

China brought her head up to reveal a frown as she requested, "May I know why you two hate me so much? I know this will certainly enrage you, but I need to know what I did wrong before you obviously kill me."

Crystal looked over at Stormy who nodded, then watched as her sister stepped forward and crouched to look China in the eye,

"You really want to know, China? I honestly can't _believe _you don't know. We are your _daughters _doesn't that give you a little hint? We have been living on our own for ten _years _waiting for you to come and rescue us from that blasted orphanage, and you never came. Do you know what it's like being in a place like that with _magic_? It's dreadful! Crystal was always teased about her right hand that she didn't even know _contained _powers at that point in time. I was always teased about being some Goth chick. It's a cruel world that you are supposed to save us from, and you betrayed us. The only parent that was actually loyal to us and taught us magic was our supposedly evil father," Stormy spat, jabbing a finger in China's chest.

China didn't answer but looked up sadly at Stormy, whose eyes were widened in rage and her chest was heaving.

"I'm…sorry…" China whispered, looking deep into her daughter's eyes.

China expected sympathy from them from here on out, but alas, their reaction was quite different. Stormy shrieked in rage and slapped China, her face going deep red. Crystal was behind them rolling her eyes at China's apology, and then shooting a death glare directly at her.

"Why won't you accept my damn apology?" China screeched, pulling forward on the shackles.

Stormy laughed at the request then got up in China's face. China flinched before Stormy hissed, "If you lived half your life without your mother who was sitting comfortably in a nice home, you would completely understand."

China looked down in despair, knowing she actually did something wrong for once. Crystal could feel China pouting from beneath her raven black hair, and marched forward to kick China in the shin. China howled in pain, her face coated in sweat and tears, and then looked up venomously at Crystal. Crystal returned the glare, and whispered icily, "I can't _believe _you are sitting here sorry for yourself. Have you been ignoring us this whole time? Dad was right about you, you don't care about anyone but yourself."

China looked up offended as Crystal spun on her heels and left the room accompanied by her sister.

* * *

A/N: Anyone feeling sorry for Stormy and Crystal yet?

Hmm…


	29. Chapter 29: Saving China

Chapter 29: Saving China

A/N: It hurts me to write that as a title, but I shall live. Hmm…but if you _do _know me as a writer…you know I am quite the sneaky one. So, you shall see the dark surprise that awaits you. I'm changing the point of view to VALKYRIE'S.

Oh, and if you have the time, m'dears, go check out **NightCatMau**'s profile and review, telling her NOT to leave. Thank you.

* * *

I sat at the kitchen table that morning, contemplating on whether I should request Skul to take me to the sanctuary. Sure, we had to find out where China was being held hostage, but why must we be in such haste? I really didn't mind waiting a little bit. Maybe some torture would do that woman some good.

_No Valkyrie! Stop thinking these evil things! _A voice in the back of my mind shouted.

Eh, guess it was right. Turning into Darquesse right now wouldn't be beneficial to me whatsoever at this point. All we needed to do now was act smarter than the criminals.

I sighed and set the coffee I had been sipping on down, and wandered into the living room, seeing that Skulduggery _still _wasn't up. He'd been meditating hard lately, like things were getting more tiring for him. I was slightly concerned, but I needed to stay on task right now. I brushed my hair behind my shoulders and jogged up the staircase of the mansion, my destination our bedroom.

I reached the doorway and glanced in, panic beginning to fill my system. Where was Skulduggery? Had the criminals struck once again? As I began to ponder these thoughts in my mind, I swore I heard mumbling.

"Oi, why am I on the floor?" came that velvety voice.

I sighed in relief and rushed over to the other side of the now light bedroom, and laughed at the sight before me. Skul was sprawled across the floor, with a cocoon of blankets wrapped around him. He was struggling to get out of it, and he looked slightly like a worm at the moment. Skul obviously caught me laughing, and sent a skeletal glare my way.

"Being my wife and all, Val, you should help me," he muttered, attempting to sit up.

I laughed slightly and rolled my eyes as I crouched down next to him. He kept shooting glares my way, but I couldn't help but just sit there. It would be really awkward to roll him around looking for the start of the blanket. Eh, he'd get over it. I tucked my hands under him and heard a startled gasp. He was going to start complaining any second now…

"May I ask what in the blue blazes you are doing? No! Don't do that! Ow, Val! Val? Val!" he screeched.

I shrugged and finished pulling the mass of blankets from him, dusting my hands of afterwards. I gave him a smirk and turned to leave, but his skeletal hand wrapped around my foot and I fell backwards. I shrieked as I crashed into him and tried to get up, but his arm held me there on his lap. I was about to return the embrace when I heard laughing coming from behind me. Oh, _that _was it.

"You are so clumsy, my dear!" Skul chuckled, the laughter threatening to get louder.

I growled and nudged him in the ribcage, finally getting out of his grasp. I stood up and dusted myself off, deciding to go downstairs and check the TV for any news reports.

As I left the room, I heard slight shuffling like he was trying to stand. Now if he was done messing around, maybe he could help. I marched down the stairs to take a seat on the couch, grabbing the remote from inside of one of Skul's hats while I went.

I took a seat and flicked on the television, becoming impatient when I saw commercials dancing across the screen. I rolled my eyes and threw my head back as some annoying jingle blasted through the speakers. As I sat waiting for the news to come back on, I heard someone walking, then recognized the footsteps.

"Come on, sweetheart, it was just a joke!" Skulduggery called from the steps.

I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the news that had just flickered back on, and leaned forward in interest.

"Valkyrie? Val!" Skulduggery clapped in front of my face, then clicked his fingers accidentally summoning a flame.

I couldn't help but laugh as Skulduggery yelped and put out the flame. He didn't get angry at my reaction but smiled, and I saw the perfect opportunity to tease him.

"Who's the clumsy one now, my love?" I teased, leaning against his shoulder as he sat down.

I felt him move back to look at me, and returned his skeletal gaze. He thought for a moment as he glanced at the TV then finally asked, "Why are you watching the news?"

I shrugged and replied, "Well, we still have a case, whether we want it or not, and we have to find those two _detectives_."

Skul nodded as I put air quotes around the word 'detectives' and I could tell he was in deep thought.

"What?" I asked, leaning back into the couch.

"We may have to go to the sanctuary and get the files on those two. If they have any…If they were smart, being detectives, they could have used it to burn their files," he replied, rubbing his skeletal chin.

I moaned and face palmed whispering, "You probably jinxed it…"

* * *

China sat their waiting for her daughters to come back and finish her off, when she remembered she still had her phone. Her eyes lit up as she saw the lump in her pocket was still there, but then she wondered how to get to it. She looked up at the shackles, and stretched the bit of chain, having it dig into her skin as it got closer and closer to her pocket. Her hand was maybe two inches away from her pocket when she heard voices upstairs, and knew she had to hurry. She kept pulling and finally got the phone to slide from her pocket to her hand.

She quickly snapped it open with her thumb and scrolled through the contacts until she reached 'Valkyrie' and pushed send, then clicking speaker. She heard the nerve racking beeps, and finally some one picked up.

* * *

My phone rang as I buckled up in the Bentley, and Skulduggery and I exchanged glances as I checked the caller ID. China.

My eyes widened as I read the name, earning a confused glance from Skul. I flipped open the mobile and held it to my ear, hearing that whoever was calling put it on speaker.

"Valkyrie?" China whispered into the phone.

I heard the voice echo and knew she was in a basement of some sort.

"China?" I called back.

"Shhh, they'll hear you."

"Who's _they?_"

"Crystal and Stormy. I need your help," she whispered into the phone.

"Ok, ok, where are you?"

"Some old building in the woods…Skulduggery might know…Just hurry, they are coming!" she pleaded eagerly, her voice almost strangled.

Before I could reply, the line went dead and I looked over to Skulduggery nervously.

"What's wrong, Val?" he asked, putting as gloved hand on my shoulder.

I gulped before answering quietly, "I know where China is."

Skulduggery stiffened before replying, "Where?"

I relaxed and answered, "All she said was some old building in the woods…she also said you might know where it is."

Skulduggery snapped his head towards me and whispered, "Why yes I do."

He slammed on the gas and we were off, leaving questions spilling into my mind. I watched as his grip became tighter on the steering wheel, and sensed he was tense. I probably shouldn't ask any questions…yet.

* * *

"_WHO DID YOU CALL, WOMAN?"_ Stormy shrieked, shoving the phone into China's beat up face.

China spat in her face and muttered, "Go to Hell."

Crystal, who had been standing behind Stormy, gently shoved past her sister and stripped her gloves off quickly. She chucked the gloves into the corner of the room and whistled sadly as her sister wiped off her face in rage.

"You know China, I was being nice about not killing you and all. It would be real easy too, seeing that my sister took away your powers," Crystal sneered, cracking her knuckles.

China rolled her eyes and replied, "Mind telling me _why _you haven't killed me?"

Crystal laughed in China's face and stood up straight whispering, "Why do that? It ruins my fun."

China groaned and closed her eyes, hoping to God that Skulduggery and Valkyrie would show up soon...She didn't know how much more of this excruciating pain she could take.

"Ah, ah, ah, China. No thinking for you!" Crystal squeaked, thrusting her red hand out at her mother.

China writhed in pain, her feet tensing up whilst the pain throbbed through every part of her. Sweat began dribbling down her forehead, and she knew she was going to die. Soon.

* * *

"Where are we going?" I finally asked, glancing at the old house that came into view.

Skulduggery sighed and replied as he turned the corner, "This was Serpine's hide out before that wretched castle. You know...where he handled his...business."

I cringed and watched as Skulduggery opened the door and pulled out his gun. I followed him out and summoned a flame in my palm, hoping this fight wouldn't be hard. Hard? What was she thinking? These were mere teenagers. No harm...

Skulduggery finally reached the door and tested the knob, seeing that it was locked. As he went to work on picking the lock, I took the time to study where we were. It looked like one of those country homes with the huge porches that you saw in older movies, except it was twisted and dark. The white paint was chipping off, leaving the ivy to grow freely around the exterior. The roof had slight holes in it, and the shingles looked moldy and damp. The porch that we were now standing upon was even worse, the wood rotted and covered in mushrooms. I was cautious with my steps, fore even one wrong step could land you through the floor. No noises filled the air whatsoever, other than the lonely owl that sat perched upon a dead tree in the background of trees.

Finally I heard a _click _meaning Skul must have gotten the door open. I looked over to see Skulduggery standing back up slowly, signaling for me to come and take his hand. I nodded and crept over, grasping his hand reassuringly. We stepped inside, and it surely surprised me. Although the outside was quite disastrous, the inside was quite homey.

White wicker love seats sat in front of a well crafted fireplace, and a glass chandelier hung gracefully from the ceiling. The wooden floors in here weren't rotted, although they did have a tendency to creak. Hopefully there wasn't anyone downstairs to hear it...

We crept carefully over to a staircase that lead downstairs into the darkness. I looked at Skul and he nodded, which meant we were going down there. Oh goody, we were heading to the spot where people get killed in every horror movie.

Skulduggery held his hand up for me to stay where I was at as he slowly made his way down the stairs, his gun in hand. I watched every second as he ventured further and further away, until even his bright white skull wasn't even visible. I decided it wouldn't be smart to leave him down there alone, fore there may be an ambush awaiting. I quietly lowered to the first step of the stairs, earning quite a creak to emit from the wood. I winced and hoped no one heard it, and became steadier as I tiptoed down the wooden staircase.

After some careful maneuvering, I finally reached the bottom of the stairs to be completely enveloped in darkness. I squinted in the dark and tried to make out familiar shapes in the blackness to no avail. As I spun around I hit an object and immediately summoned a flame. My eyes darted up to see what it was, and in the flickering light, I saw Skulduggery with a gloved finger to his teeth. I nodded and put out my flame, grasping onto his free hand as we ventured even further into the mildew smelling basement. As we felt around for a light or door, I finally found something and tried to picture in my mind what it was. It was a door handle.

I pulled Skulduggery's shoulder and brought his hand to mine on top of the handle, and I knew he nodded. Skulduggery gently took my hand and put me behind him, slowly grasping the handle. I peeked over his shoulder as he began to open it, a sliver of light escaping the room within.

Skul finally opened it completely and I flinched at the sudden brightness that filled my eyes. My eyes finally adjusted to the light, and I got a good look at the sight before us. It was a starch white room with wires and the fuse box clinging to the wall, and on the opposite wall, I met the gaze of China Sorrows herself.

Skulduggery stiffened in front of me and I slowly walked past him to China, a small pool of blood below her shackled form. I studied her dirtied face and saw every bruise or cut that was visible, and knew she had been tortured. I knew the feeling and winced as she attempted to smile.

"China, where are they?" I whispered, my gaze darting around the room.

China slowly replied, "They left a few minutes ago...before you arrived."

I looked at Skulduggery who didn't seem to care about the woman, and shook my head. I brought my gaze back up to China who was merely hanging from the wall in pain. I held a flame up to the shackles and watched in amazement as the shackles melted. They weren't magic proof? Why didn't she escape on her own?

I bent down and looked into her pale blue eyes and asked, "What have they done to you?"

China laughed sadly and responded in sorrow, "Stormy took away my powers...for good. Crystal has that damned red hand like her father, and has been torturing me with it. Thanks for coming, Valkyrie."

I nodded as a tear threatened to escape, and I quickly brushed it away. China smiled weakly and glanced adoringly behind my shoulder at Skulduggery. I growled slightly but kept working on melting the shackles. She knew I didn't like what she was doing, because she pushed it further.

"So Skul, how's life? You don't care about me anymore?" she whispered, batting her eyelashes.

Skulduggery grunted something to my pleasure about 'that's an overstatement.' I grinned and finished melting the shackles, watching as China fell to the ground with a gasp. Her legs weren't broken, so she'd be able to walk...thank God. I really didn't want to carry her or have Skulduggery carry her. She stood up shakily and flashed a smile at Skulduggery, earning a cringe that only I could sense.

"Let's get out of here," he muttered, walking over and taking my hand.

I accepted his gesture and we began to walk out, the clicking of China's heels following behind us. I stopped and turned around whispering, "China, take the damned shoes off."

China rolled her eyes but obliged, mumbling something about me being an arse. Eh, whatever made her happy.

"Guys, shh," Skulduggery ordered, gesturing for them to take cover in the closet next to the staircase. I nodded and dragged China with me, her high heels in her other hand. We reached the closet and I shoved her in with me, hoping that everything would be taken care of soon.

"Aw, how come Skully couldn't come in here with me?" China whined in a fake tone, a smirk developing upon her lips.

I growled and muttered, "If you want to live, shut your mouth."

China rolled her eyes from in between the dusty coats and hangers, stumbling over a box that lay behind her. I couldn't help but giggle quietly, but then I heard a crash from outside the closet. China and I exchanged worried glances, then agreed that I should check it out...of course.

As I reached for the knob, the door suddenly opened and the light flashed in, revealing China and I among the coats. My eyes adjusted to the light and I could make out Crystal with her red hand flexing. Oh joy...and next to her was Stormy who could absorb powers. I really didn't want her to get a hold of me.

I glanced over and saw Skulduggery struggling to pick himself up from a mountain of glass from the broken lamp. He snapped his head at me because he knew exactly what was going to happen. I smiled sadly at him and waved before turning my attention back to Crystal who had a dark smirk upon her lips.

"This is going to be _easy_," she muttered, looking from me to China.

Crystal outstretched her hand at China first, and I looked away as her body fell to the floor, blood chilling screams escaping her mouth. I winced every time I heard sounds of her body twisting, and I knew I would be next.

"Ah, mother, I've been contemplating on whether I should kill you or not. Guess I have to now..." Crystal whispered icily, flicking her wrist.

China's body slammed into the wall, not killing her, but knocking her unconscious. This was getting to be a little too much for me...

I glanced over at Stormy who was keeping guard of the door, as if she knew someone was coming. I _hoped _someone was coming.

"Now for you, Valkyrie Cain," Crystal spat, moving her hand to point directly at me.

After a few seconds the pain kicked in, and I couldn't help but scream in pain. My arms were throbbing and my legs were numb...my vision was becoming cloudy and the last thought that came to my mind before screaming and passing out was Skulduggery.

* * *

"Ha, that was easier than it should've be been," Crystal laughed, putting her hand down. Skulduggery growled in anger and rushed over to his wife and cradled her in his arms, hoping that she was still alive.

"Aw, is Mr. Pleasant upset?" Crystal teased, putting her hands on her hips.

Skulduggery slowly brought his gaze up to Crystal and reached for his gun in anger. Crystal caught every movement and flicked her hand, and the gun flew across the room to hit the wall with a _thump. _

"Why are you doing this," Skulduggery demanded to know, glaring the best he could at the blond.

She cackled evilly and replied, "Why, I never meant to torture you and your wife, you just got in the way. Stormy and I were just after China."

Skulduggery cocked his head and questioned, "What about that Jack Horrid?"

Crystal laughed and replied, "He turned on my father at one point. He basically knew it was coming."

Skulduggery felt struck. These two eighteen-year olds were playing a very dirty revenge game here...better than most criminals out there. He couldn't help but think about Valkyrie who lay unconscious in his arms, and just hoped someone had noticed their disappearance.

"Now, now Mr. Pleasant. We aren't going to torture you. I think it was torture enough to see history repeat itself, don't you? Unless...we dismantle you bone by bone. You know that sounds good," Crystal growled, beginning to walk over.

Before she or Skulduggery could make a movie, there was a crash and a thud, showing someone was here to help. Crystal spun around and saw her sister unconscious on the ground, with no one there to accuse.

"What the?" she stuttered, glancing around the room.

Skulduggery took this as his opportunity and sprang forward, crashing into the blond who shrieked her whole way to the ground. He manipulated the air and his gun came flying into his awaiting hand, earning a scared look from the girl.

"Don't you dare!" she snarled, using her red hand to throw him off of her.

As Crystal walked towards him, Skulduggery noticed her stop suddenly, her jaw dropping in pain. Before confusion could flood his skull, he saw a tip of a sword protruding from her middle.

"Ouch..." she moaned before falling forward.

Skulduggery looked back up and saw Tanith grinning at him as she wiped the blood off of her sword. Ghastly soon followed behind her, holding two sets of shackles.

"Hello, Skul. Seems you are in trouble, yes?" Ghastly laughed, locking the shackles onto the two teenagers wrists.

"What are we going to do about that blasted hand?" Skulduggery asked as he managed to stand.

"Eh, we'll worry about that later. Why did you guys come here?" Ghastly asked, gesturing to Valkyrie.

Skulduggery hunched his shoulders and replied, "We were supposed to be saving China."

Ghastly nearly freaked out in shock but collected himself as he said, "Really? Why?"

Skulduggery shrugged and looked at Valkyrie whispering, "It was all her idea."

Ghastly nodded and hoisted the two teenagers over his shoulders, both alive. Tanith watched the movements of the bodies, making sure none came to why they were being carried out.

While the couple took care of the two teenagers, Skulduggery noticed his wife finally waking.

* * *

I groaned and put a hand to her forehead muttering, "God, that hurt."

Skulduggery smiled and rushed over, scooping my sore body into his arms. I smiled back and settled into his embrace but noticed China in the background.

"What do we do about her?" I asked, looking deep into his eye sockets.

He laughed and replied merrily, "She'll find her way out, my dear."

* * *

A/N: Aw, a sweet ending for this mini story? I hope so.

Next time, I will make it a separate the story into its own for you _confused _readers.


	30. Chapter 30: Drunk

Chapter 30: Drunk

A/N: Lol, this idea came to mind as I lay in bed. Isn't that just lovely?

If you like China I hope you somewhat enjoyed the last chapter -.-

* * *

Skulduggery Pleasant sat on his sofa that night watching the news, wondering if any recent murders had happened lately. He was going to ask Valkyrie to come over and watch it, but she and Tanith already had plans that night. Hopefully they weren't doing anything foolish…What was he saying? Of course they were.

Skulduggery flipped open his mobile and scrolled down the contacts until he found the name 'Valkyrie Mobile' and clicked send. He held the mobile to his skull and listened for an answer, tapping his fingers on the arm of the sofa.

After a few moments there was an answer, but it wasn't the usual 'hello.' Skulduggery cocked his head and listened as giggling came through, and he tried to recognize the laughs as they boomed through the speaker.

"Uh, Val? Tanith?" he called, hoping someone would make an ounce of sense soon.

"Oooh, Val! Did you hear that?" came Tanith Low's voice.

"Yeah, maybe I butt dialed someone on this thingy. Where's the off switch?" Valkyrie Cain mumbled, probably fiddling with the phone.

Skulduggery stiffened as thoughts raced through his mind. Were they…_drunk? _They were definitely old enough, Valkyrie being twenty five and Tanith being in her early seventies.

The line went dead and Skulduggery set the phone down in shock. He would have to find them before they went off on a rampage through Ireland. Tanith was especially crazy, and he could only imagine what she would do being drunk. God, talk about mental scarring.

Before Skulduggery could even move, the knob of his front door began wiggling loudly. Skulduggery glanced at the moving knob and pulled out his revolver, going to the door cautiously. He peered out the window and saw Valkyrie and Tanith barefoot and…clad in only their bra and underwear.

What were they doing? God…

He opened the door slowly and hid behind the door as the two drunken women walked in, and he instantly became nervous. What did he do in this situation? Val had never gotten drunk before…this was new to him.

"V-Val?" he stuttered walking out from behind the door slowly.

The dark haired woman turned around and put her hand on her hips, raising an eyebrow at him.

God, this was awkward with her being in just black underwear and a black bra.

"What are you doing behind the door, fool?" she asked suddenly, walking over to him.

Skulduggery stiffened and stared at her as she tugged his tie harshly. She literally dragged him into the living room where Tanith was, wearing the exact same thing except red. This was not going to be good for his reputation…

Two of his best friends half naked in his living room…what had he just gotten into?  
Valkyrie let go and shoved him onto the couch, leaving him there frozen and confused. She winked and leaned over to Tanith whispering something in her ear, earning a vicious nod from the blond.

"Okay!" Valkyrie muttered, turning away from Tanith who was smiling like a mad woman.

Skulduggery's gaze darted from Val to Tanith in complete confusion. What the hell was going on here?

He looked up again to see Valkyrie walking over to him, and he covered his eyes in fear. This was getting a little overboard. He sat there puzzled until he felt someone on his lap, and moved one hand away to see Valkyrie straddling his hips with a smirk on her face.

"_Oh God!_" he shouted, trying to squirm away from her.

"Aw, baby, don't crawl away," Valkyrie whined, grabbing onto the skeleton's shoulders.

Skulduggery froze and almost passed out at that moment. This was…awful. Not that he didn't love Val…he truly did, but she was drunk and acting crazy.

"Good skeleton," she whispered leaning forward to kiss him.

Skulduggery freaked out and tried moving his skull backwards until it was crushed against the wall. Valkyrie laughed and kept moving forward, knowing he was trapped. She gripped the sides of his skull and kissed him ferociously, her lips sliding everywhere over his teeth. He struggled inside her grasp and tried to pull away, but simply couldn't, not in this position. He decided enough was enough and reached his hand to her bare thigh and squeezed it.

Valkyrie immediately stopped and began giggling as he tickled her, eventually falling off of him in a heap.

He took his chance and ran up the steps and into his room, locking it quickly behind him. He slumped down to sit in front of the door and heard the pounding of two people running up the steps as he pulled out his mobile. There was soon banging on the door as he found the contact he was looking for…Ghastly.

"Hello?" answered the elder, obviously tired.

Skulduggery flinched as the banging got wilder and quickly spat, "My house, now. Help. Two...drunks."

Before Ghastly could reply, he clamped the mobile shut, and stayed in position in front of the door.

* * *

Ghastly pulled up in front of Skulduggery's house with Erskine at his side and they looked at each other nervously before stepping out.

"Drunk people?" Erskine asked, looking over to Ghastly as they jogged to the front door.

"That's what he said," Ghastly replied reaching the front door.

Instead of knocking they both barged in and saw nothing. They hurried up the steps to find Skulduggery, but instead they came upon something quite disturbing.

Erskine wolf whistled and whispered, "_Damn._"

Ghastly followed his gaze to see Tanith and Valkyrie banging on the door…in only their bra and underwear.

"My Lord! Tanith, come here!" Ghastly called, gasping slightly.

He rushed over to his girlfriend and took of his jacket, sliding it around her shoulders.

He pulled her to him earning a Cheshire grin from her, and he only rolled his eyes and escorted her downstairs.

"Erskine! Help!" Skulduggery shouted from behind the door.

He heard shuffling and bangs before the noise stopped, and he figured it was time to get out.

He opened the door cautiously and glanced down to see Valkyrie passed out on the floor, Erskine putting his hands up in innocence behind her. Skulduggery put a hand to his skull and scooped the passed out Valkyrie up into his arms taking her downstairs.

This was going to be quite the story when she woke up…

* * *

A/N: Lol, hope you liked it!

Review please!


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